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Do Hot Flashes Impair Brain Function?
BAD BEHAVIOR, CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | DECEMBER 15, 2018
(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. One day I come into work and the line is halfway around the store. Two of my coworkers have called out, and when I clock in, one of the two cashiers there goes on a lunch break. It’s just me and the manager trying to get everyone rung up as quickly as possible. The phone rings, so I answer while still helping my customer.)

Me: “Hello. This is [Pharmacy]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller #1 : “Yes, I’m looking for [Medicine]. It’s for hot flashes.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of medicine is it?”

Caller #1 : *getting irritated* “It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE].’ It’s for hot flashes!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I mean, is it some kind of painkiller?”

Caller #1 : “It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE]’! It’s for hot flashes!”

Me: *still trying to ring up customers and getting annoyed* “Ma’am, we don’t have a section for menopause. I need to know if it’s a painkiller, or a vitamin, or is it in the cold section — something like that.”

Caller #1 : “Okay, listen to me. You know what menopause is, right? You know that women have hot flashes, right? It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE]’! Just look for it—”

(I admit I am annoyed. I’m not about to look all over the floor looking for some medicine I’ve never heard of. I hang up on her and finish ringing up my customer. I think that is the end of that… until a couple of hours later, when another customer calls.)

Caller #2 : “I’m looking for [Medicine]; it’s for hot flashes.”

(I ask her the same question.)

Caller #2 : “It should be in the same area as the birth control or the feminine products.”

(I tell her I’ll send someone to look for it.)

Caller #2 : “Thank you. Actually, my sister called earlier, and she spoke to someone who hung up on her.”

Me: “Would you like to speak to a manager, ma’am?”

(She says yes, so I call my manager to speak to her. Meanwhile, my coworker finds her medicine and brings it to the front. She speaks to the woman to confirm it’s the right one. They speak and she hangs up. My manager asks why she hung up and didn’t transfer the call.)

Coworker: “She said she didn’t really need to speak to him anymore. She just wanted to say sorry for her sister’s behavior.”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 30
CANADA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 10, 2018
(There is a pharmacy in the same building as my doctor’s office, but it opens at 8:30 rather than 8:00 as the office does. It has a metal gate across the entrance when closed, just like most stores in a mall do. I come in just after 8:00 and am waiting for my turn when a woman comes out from her appointment with a prescription sheet and starts hovering right in front of the pharmacy gate.)

Woman: *to the employee inside who is obviously trying to set up to open* “Excuse me… Excuse me!”

Employee: “Yes?”

Woman: “Are you open yet?”

Employee: *slight pause* “No. That’s why the gate is closed and the lights are off.”

Woman: “Oh.” *wanders away*

(Everyone else in the waiting room was trying not to laugh. Really, how much more obvious do you need it to be?)

Giving Them A Hard Pill To Swallow
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOUSTON, PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | RIGHT | DECEMBER 8, 2018
(I work at a retail pharmacy. I get a call from a patient.)

Customer: “I just came by the drive-thru, and you f****** idiots screwed up my prescription. This is completely wrong!“

(I apologize profusely and confirm the medication she was supposed to pick up.)

Me: “You certainly did pick up the correct medication for yourself. What exactly was wrong with it?”

Customer: “Last time I got ninety pills, and this time I only got thirty! What kind of business are you running here?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that is a bit peculiar. Let me see why that was done.”

(I look up her prescription, which is a quantity of thirty with three refills.)

Me: “I see your doctor only prescribed a total of a hundred and twenty pills. On your preferences, you request ninety-day supplies. We did indeed fill it for ninety days previously, meaning only thirty were remaining on your prescription, which is what you received today. After this, you will need a new prescription from your doctor in order to get a ninety-day supply. I’m sorry for the confusion.”

Customer: “No f****** way. You guys f****** shorted me. I’m going over soon, and you guys had better give me my d*** pills. I know you offer that service, since y’all are f****** useless.”

Me: “Ma’am, we did not short you. You were meant to get thirty pills. You don’t have enough pills on your prescription to fill for ninety. I can send a refill request fax to your doctor, and perhaps she can approve for more. If it’s within seven days, we can reimburse you and get you ninety days when it’s approved.”

Customer: *scoffs* “Seriously?! What the f*** am I supposed to do without my medication?! I need this stuff to live. Just give me my f****** pills.”

(I am going around in circles, so I cut her off.)

Me: “No. I’m sorry, I cannot invent a new prescription and give you pills you do not have. You have no refills. Zero. You have thirty days’ worth you just picked up, and thirty entire days to get more. I can get you my pharmacy manager if you want a second opinion.”

(I put her on hold before she could protest or swear at me anymore, and the pharmacist who had been listening to her in disbelief picked up the call. The customer hung up, and we thankfully haven’t heard from her since.)

This Guy Should Shut His Mouth About Yours
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | DECEMBER 6, 2018
(I’ve just had to have minor surgery on my tongue and the roof of my mouth. My mouth is packed with gauze. We have to stop at the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics before heading home. My mom does some other shopping, but I sit in the waiting area. I’m miserable and still reeling from the drugs, and I’m texting friends. An older man comes and sits across from me in silence for a half hour. Then, suddenly, he rages out at me.)

Customer: “You know, back in my day, we would talk and not just sit with your phone in front of your face. Ignoring people! We used to dress to go shopping, too, not just pajamas in public!”

(He continues on, raging that I’m wearing PJs and that I’m on my phone. I ignore him. When my mom comes back around, he rages at her, too.)

Customer: “You need to teach your child some manners! She hasn’t even said hello, just sat there on her d*** phone!”

(Finally, I just turn and open my mouth, full of bloody gauze, and muffle out a hello. He looks horrified and backs away from me.)

Pharmacist: “Just ignore him. He comes around and never buys anything, just harasses our customers.”

Ignorance Has No Expiry Date
BAD BEHAVIOR, MONEY, PHARMACY, TENNESSEE, USA | RIGHT | DECEMBER 4, 2018
Customer: “Excuse me, I see in your ad that you have this sale. I was wondering if I could use this coupon that expired only almost a week ago. Will that be all right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Store] can no longer take any coupons past expiration date.”

Customer: “Oh? Well, that isn’t right. Are you sure?” *she then props herself against the counter and says this* “You know, I also work at [Store, but different location] and [Their Manager and Employees] took them all the time, and I know for a fact that you guys do so here also. Who is the boss tonight? Let me speak to them and I’ll show you.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I find the store manager, tell him the situation, and he comes up after finishing helping another customer. When he walks up, she gives him a grand greeting and explains to him the situation. Though I had to help another customer and did not get to stay for the conversation, I did get to see her leaving the store saying

Customer: “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just have to try somewhere else that actually tries to make customers happy!”

(I ask my manager what he did.)

Store Manager: “I know her from another store location, but it’s good you stood by our policies. When I mentioned to her about which stores are on the naughty list for accepting bad coupons and giving unnecessary store credit, of which her store was in second place, I asked her how she was dealing with that. She said never mind, and left! If we allowed it, who knows how many more customers would have come expecting this if they heard they could pull that stuff here!”

(Moral of the story: you are not there to sacrifice values and bend rules to give someone an ego boost or sense of entitlement. Stick to what you know, and keep the truth because anything can happen in retail.)

Behaving Poorly
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, UK | LEGAL | NOVEMBER 28, 2018
(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres away], which both sell that kind of medicine.”

Assistant: “Exactly!”

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance
AUSTRALIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 28, 2018
(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

Makes You Wish You Could Just Die(late)
Arizona, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Phoenix, Restaurant, Strangers, USA | Healthy | July 22, 2018
(I have just had an eye exam. This time I need mine dilated. The exam is good, and afterward, my grandma and I decided to head to [Restaurant] for breakfast. Note that, per doctor’s orders — and because I’m not stupid — I have my sunglasses on inside the restaurant itself. Any logical person would mind their own d*** business, despite there being a young adult sitting in a room with her back towards the window with sunglasses on. One lady, however, doesn’t get that and comes up to the table.)

Lady: “Why do you have sunglasses on?”

Me: *because it’s loud and I can’t hear well* “I’m sorry?”

Lady: “I said, ‘Why do you have your sunglasses on in here?!’ You’re high, aren’t you? You must be high!”

Me: *trying to keep a polite approach in the hopes that she leaves* “Ma’am, I can assure you, I’ve never even touched marijuana.”

Lady: “That’s what a pothead would say!”

Me: “So, because I have my sunglasses on inside, I’m a pothead, am I?”

Lady: “Yes, you f****** are! That stuff is bad for you!”

Me: “Certainly, because I’m allergic to the smell.”

(This is true. I get incredibly dizzy with the smell of weed.)

Lady: “You’re lying! You just had a blunt, and now you’re having a case of the munchies!”

Me: “Please, leave us alone.”

Lady: “Not until you leave!”

(I’m annoyed and have a headache from the noise, and my eyes are hurting, and I’m hangry. I move my sunglasses so she can see my eyes.)

Me: “THEY’RE BIG, NOT RED!”

(The lady, I guess not expecting a 4’11” girl to snap, stepped back and scurried off to whatever she was doing before. I can get not being a fan of weed — like I said, I have an allergy with the smell of it — but even if I had been smoking it, what good would yelling at me do? Sometimes just keep your opinion to yourself.)

A Very Secure Argument
Bad Behavior, Hospital, Patients, USA | Healthy | July 19, 2018
(I work in a children’s hospital. Like most hospitals, we have a code system for emergencies. In our hospital, Code Pink is missing child — either patient, or sibling or friend visitor. We are responding to a Code Pink involving a teenager girl — here after an attempted suicide — who has gone missing from her room. Part of the response is that everyone needs to stay where they are when the code is issued, while the nurses search every room in their unit and allied health professionals man the doors between units. I’m an allied health professional, so I’m guarding the door between two units. It’s also right before visitors are supposed to leave for the night. Several visitors come to me, trying to leave to go home.)

Me: “We’re searching for a missing child at the moment, so please return to your child’s room until we notify you that our search is completed.”

Most People: “Oh, absolutely. I hope you find them quickly.”

Man: “Well, I’m tired, and I’m going home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you cannot leave right now.”

Man: “Well, I’m leaving.”

Me: “With all due respect, no, you aren’t. Even if you get past me, no one is coming in or out of the hospital right now.”

Man: *starts to push past me* “I’m leaving.”

Me: “You will be stopped at the main door by security, anyway. We need everyone to stay where they are.”

Man: “I’ll get through security, too.”

Me: “May I remind you that security has pepper spray and tasers? Sir, I’m sure you can imagine that we take a missing child very seriously, and security is not going to play games with you.”

(He dejectedly went back to his room. For those worried, it turns out that the girl’s “friends” were trying to break her out of the hospital. She was 17. They were 18. They made it to the train station outside. They got charged with kidnapping.)

Waiting For Cancer
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | July 16, 2018
The nearest clinic that takes my insurance is a pretty far drive for me, so I try to book multiple medical appointments for the same day, or at least get more than one thing scheduled each time I go in. On this particular day, I’ve booked two appointments: one consultation that should take about thirty minutes, and a prescription renewal for a psychiatric medication that should only be about fifteen minutes. The receptionist and I agree that it makes sense to put in some buffer time, just in case the consultation takes a little longer than expected, so my psychiatric appointment is scheduled to start fifteen minutes after my consultation should end.

I arrive at the clinic fifteen minutes early, check in for both my appointments, remind the receptionist of my schedule, and settle into the waiting room. It’s not unusual for appointments at this clinic to run a few minutes late, so I’m not surprised when we’re five minutes past my first appointment time and I haven’t been called back; I left the buffer time for a reason. However, by the time we approach the twenty-minute mark, I’m pretty concerned. I go to the desk and ask, and the receptionist promises someone will be with me soon. I remind him that I have the second appointment, and he tells me that the psychiatrist’s schedule isn’t jammed, so if I’m a few minutes late, that’s all right. I’m getting a little annoyed, but I try to let it go and go back to wait.

Another ten minutes pass before a nurse brings me back to take my vitals, at what was supposed to be the end of my appointment time. I ask him about the delays, and he tells me that it will be fine and the doctor will be right with me, and leaves me in the office, alone.

I wait in the office for another twenty minutes, now officially five minutes into my psychiatric appointment time, before I step back into the front office. The receptionist says that the consulting doctor’s schedule is completely backed up, so he sends me back to do my psychiatric appointment while I wait. The psychiatrist is very understanding when I explain the whole confusion, and we’re just starting to talk about my medication when another doctor throws the door open without knocking first. Apparently, this is my consulting doctor.

She’s very angry, and starts laying into the psychiatrist, yelling about how it was absolutely unprofessional for him to take me back before I’d met with her, how it was screwing up her whole schedule, and how my consultation today was already going to be difficult, going into details about why it would be. Finally, she turns to me and tells me that if I want to meet with her at all, I have to do it now, because her schedule is so tight today. The psychiatrist tells me to go ahead, and he’ll talk to the receptionist and make sure I can still see him today.

I really don’t want to deal with this woman, but the consultation is for a cancer screening, for a fast-acting type that runs in my family. I’m high risk for it, and if I have it, even the few weeks it might take to rebook a consultation with a less-PO’d doctor could seriously impact my treatment. She’s professional enough during my appointment, and can tell me that I am, in fact, cancer-free, but I’m still very uncomfortable with her.

Luckily, I am able to rebook the psychiatric consultation after just another twenty-minute wait, although I’m now here over an hour later than I’d planned to be. I’m ready to just run out as quickly as I can, but the psychiatrist asks me if I can stay and speak to a staff member about my experience today.

Turns out, the reason there was a twenty-minute wait was because he filed a report against the other doctor for barging into my appointment with him without even knocking first, and then for yelling at him, including information about my appointment in her rant that he had no reason to know, since it didn’t relate to his treatment of me. I’m not sure if what she did was technically a HIPPA violation, or if it just violated the clinic’s policy, but when I go to book another appointment six months later, and specify that I’d like to be seen by any doctor except her, I’m told that she’s no longer with the clinic.

Hopefully You Have A Good Vinyl Collection
Australia, Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, Sydney | Healthy | July 15, 2018
(I am allergic to both latex and nitrile, but they’re both relatively new allergies for me, so I don’t think to mention them at first. I need blood taken, so the nurse and I are chatting as she gets the vials ready. As she reaches for the gloves, I notice the box.)

Me: “Oh, sorry. I forgot to say, I’m allergic to both latex and nitrile. Do you have different gloves?”

(The nurse looks at the box, as well.)

Nurse: “These are latex free.”

Me: “I know, but they’re usually nitrile, and I’m allergic to that, too. Do you have vinyl?”

(She grabs a box of vinyl gloves for me.)

Nurse: “Do you know how often I need to wear these? Maybe once a year. They’re horrible! They’re too big, and they feel awful on your hands! I hate them so much!”

(She continued to complain about the gloves as she took my blood. I know vinyl gloves are horrible; I have to wear them for work, too. But I’d also rather not spend the next few hours itching because I got latex or nitrile on my skin!)

Has Been Trying In Vein
Bad Behavior, Blood Donation, Employees, Jerk, New York, USA | Healthy | July 14, 2018
(I have been donating blood at least twice a year ever since I was 18 years old. Once the needle gets into a vein, I have no problems filling the bag. The problem is my veins tend to “squirm” under my skin, and if they don’t get pierced straight on, they have a habit of popping. Due to this, I am rather used to them needing multiple attempts to stick me. One time, I go in to make my donation, and after doing all of the paperwork, I am sat on the bench. The phlebotomist — blood drawer — walks up with a young guy.)

Phlebotomist: “Mr. [My Name]? This is [Trainee], and he is a trainee with us. He is almost done with his training. Would you be okay if he did the needle insertion on you today?”

Me: “I mean, it’s fine with me, but he might have a hard time. I’m sometimes hard to stick.”

Phlebotomist: “Okay, [Trainee], I’ll be over there if you need me.”

(The phlebotomist then walks away to go do a draw from another donor across the room.)

Me: “All right, [Trainee], looks like it’s just the two of us. Just to warn you, my veins tend to squirm a bit, and are easy to pop. Just take your time.”

Trainee: “Don’t worry, sir. This should be easy. Just squeeze on this ball, and… Shoot.”

(He slid the needle into my arm, and, like I warned him, my vein moved out of the way. He tries to change the angle of the needle while it is in my arm, causing a good bit of pain, and then scrapes the side of the vein, popping it.)

Trainee: “Darn! Don’t worry; this is fine. There is another vein I can use. Just make sure you sit still, please. Please squeeze. D***!”

(Another squirm and another pop, luckily with no digging inside of my flesh this time.)

Me: “Do you think you should get your trainer to come and look?”

Trainee: “No, sir. I am almost fully trained, and I have done this before. Is it okay if I move over to your other arm and give that one a shot?”

Me: “Sure, but you are going to have the same problem over there.”

(He moves over to my other side, cleans the skin, ties off the band, pokes at my vein with his finger a couple of times, and lines up the needle.)

Me: “Are you sure you don’t want to call your trainer over?”

Trainee: “I’m sure, sir. This will be fine. Just please don’t move while I’m inserting the needle. Squeeze. Fu… Um… Hey, [Phlebotomist], could you come over for a second, please?”

(He has managed to pop the third vein, and when extracting the needle, he ripped my skin a bit, causing me to start bleeding. When the phlebotomist gets over, he says to her

Trainee: “I don’t know what this guy is doing, but he keeps moving his veins while I’m working.”

Phlebotomist: “I doubt he is doing it on purpose. Let me try another vein, and I’ll show you how to do it.”

Trainee: “Umm… I already tried both elbows, and the veins all popped under me.”

Phlebotomist: “Why didn’t you call me when you started having trouble?”

Trainee: “It would have been fine if he hadn’t been wiggling his veins. Look, I tried both in his left arm, and one in his right, but his right is bleeding now, so I can’t do the other. Do you think I should go for an artery?”

Phlebotomist & Me: “WHAT?!”

Phlebotomist: “NO! YOU DO NOT TAKE BLOOD FROM AN ARTERY! NOT WITH THE TRAINING YOU HAVE! That donor over there is almost full; go take his needle out when he is done, and point him to the snacks.”

(The trainee walks away, muttering something under his breath that I can only assume is more blaming me for moving my veins. The phlebotomist apologizes profusely, saying that she hasn’t had any trouble with him yet today, he has been good with other donors, etc. As they can’t get blood from popped veins, she tells me to come back in a month after they have healed up. As I’m walking to the front door, I walk past the trainee, who gives me a glare, and says

Trainee: “Next time, sir, please hold still while we are inserting the needle.”

(When I went back in, the phlebotomist recognized me, and came up to apologize again, and said that the trainee no longer worked there, at least partially due to the fact that he kept blaming the donors if anything went wrong.)

Did You Write This With Your Feet?
Costa Rica, Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Wordplay | Healthy | July 13, 2018
(Recently I discovered I have a mass next to my right knee; this, mixed with constant pain on my back, makes me go to a doctor. She recommends I get x-rays for both knees and back, and gives me a paper with all the indications for the professional in charge. Problem is, I can’t understand the handwriting, but she assures me they will.)

Receptionist: *on the phone* “Welcome to [Clinic]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I need two x-rays for my back and knees, as well as an ultrasound of my right knee.”

Receptionist: “What kind?”

Me: *tries to read indications* “Sorry, I can’t read my doc’s note.”

Receptionist: “Send it to us through [number].”

(I do, and wait ten minutes for the receptionist to return to the phone.)

Receptionist: “According to this, you need one x-ray of your knee, one of your feet, and one ultrasound. Be here at 10:20 am.”

Me: *not really paying attention* “Okay, great. I’ll be there.”

(I go in and pay first. Just then, I notice the x-ray for my back is missing. The receptionist asks for my instructions and shows me it doesn’t mention my back, only knees and feet. At first I let it go… but eventually it bothers me, so I call the doctor.)

Me: “Doc, I’m sorry to bother. Why didn’t you send me to get an x-ray of my back? The instructions only say knees and feet.”

Doctor: “Mmm, send over the instructions through a message, please.”

(I do.)

Doctor: “[My Name], it doesn’t say, ‘of feet,’ it says, ‘Take x-ray of back while on her feet.’”

(Penmanship is important, kids!)

Filling In Her Memory
Bad Behavior, Dentist, Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, USA | Healthy | July 12, 2018
(When I was a teenager I had two fillings put into separate back molars. The dentist didn’t wait until I was properly numb to do it, and both of them ended up coming out within the next few days while I was just watching TV. My family wasn’t exactly the best and didn’t believe me when I told them they came out, so I didn’t go back. Fast-forward to about a year ago. I’m out on a date, and I bite down with one of the teeth and the whole thing shatters into five pieces. I make an emergency appointment with the only dentist in town that can take me on such short notice — the dentist from before — and suffer for a day or two until I go in. When the dentist comes in and asks me why I’m there, I tell her about the tooth being shattered. She visibly rolls her eyes at my expense and takes a look, only to freeze in shock.)

Dentist: “Oh! It’s actually shattered. You know, that happens when you don’t get your cavities filled.”

Me: “I’d had it filled before, but it wasn’t done right and came out the next day. I was under eighteen, and my family wouldn’t bring me back.”

Dentist: “And you didn’t eat anything you weren’t supposed to?”

Me: “No, it wasn’t my first filling, and I followed the instructions.”

Dentist: “Well, whoever did the filling obviously didn’t know what they were doing.”

Me: “Well, you’re not too far off the mark, since you’re the one who did it.”

(She suddenly remembered me and actually looked embarrassed. She never apologized, but she was extra careful with explaining my options and giving me a crown — making sure I was properly numb this time — and when I went to pay, she’d knocked down the price a bit. This isn’t the only horrible story I have about her, but this was the last time I let her work on me. I’m glad we finally got a new practice in town and I can go somewhere else.)

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A Good Comeback Helps The Medicine Go Down
Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | July 12, 2018
(I am in high school, and for this semester I need to have a physical done so that I can participate in a mandatory PE class. My mom brings me over to the doctor’s office the school recommends, since our regular GP is currently out of town. At this time in my life, I am very active; I regularly go to karate lessons, hike, swim, and go mountain biking. I also take after my mother’s side of the family, who are built very squarish: short, with broad shoulders and hips. After going through all of the questions and tests, we have this gem of a conversation.)

Nurse: “It looks like everything is in order. Just remember that walking from the fridge to the couch is not ‘exercise.’”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Nurse: “Honey, calling it ‘hiking’ doesn’t make it any better for you.” *she turns to my mother* “Especially with that as an example.”

Mom: “I’m sorry; I didn’t realize that judgemental comments were part of the package. We don’t have to pay extra for them, do we?”

(The nurse looked shocked, but we got the paperwork we needed and headed out. We also let the doctor know about his nurse’s behavior.)

Their Brain Is In Another Box
Airport, Bizarre, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, USA, Wisconsin | Healthy | July 11, 2018
I work at a medical courier company. Basically, I go to different hospitals and pick up and drop off blood and urine samples because different hospitals are equipped to do different kinds of tests. There are some cases where the samples have to be sent on a plane because only a couple hospitals in the country do those certain tests. I go to the airport, where I drop off the box of samples. The box is big and clearly marked, “Biohazard,” and there are some stickers that say, “Biological Substances.”

I’m in line, and a woman comes up to me, looks me straight in the face, and asks, “So, is that like… arms and legs?” I just looked at her for a good 15 seconds before saying, “No.”

A Lack Of Blood To Their Brain
Blood Donation, France, Ignoring & Inattentive, Reception | Healthy | July 10, 2018
(I am a regular blood donator, something like ten times already in around five years, but I haven’t donated my platelets for almost a year due to a lack of time. I regularly get vocal messages from the Blood Donation Center asking me if I would agree to a new donation. This time, I call them back, around 20 minutes after the original call. I moved to [City #1 ], and the Blood Donation Center here does not have the proper equipment to perform platelet donation, so I am required to go back to [City #2 ] to do it, which I can only do during weekends.)

Me: “Hello, you just called me for a platelet donation. I would like to schedule an appointment, but I can only come to [City #2 ] during weekends as I’m living in [City #1 ], and I know I can’t do this at the local blood donation center.”

Lady: “Oh, yeah, please let me check.”

(She puts me on hold for around three minutes, which is rather unusual. I’m a bit busy, so it gets on my nerves, but hey, it’s supporting a good cause.)

Lady: “Well, [City #1 ]’s center never had the proper equipment for platelet donation.”

Me: “Yes, I know. That’s why I want an appointment in [City #2 ], on a weekend.”

Lady: “Well, okay. I have something on [date two weeks later] at 10:00 or 10:30; is that okay for you?”

Me: “Yeah, 10:30 would be perfect.”

Lady: “So 10:00.”

Me: “No, 10:30.”

Lady: “Okay. May I have your name?”

Me: “It’s [My Name].”

Lady: “I can’t find you. You’re not in the registry. You never donated your platelets, did you?”

Me: “Well, how could you call me, and leave me a vocal message asking me to come back to donate platelets, if I’m not in your registry?”

Lady: “I can’t find you. You’re not in the registry. If you had ever donated blood or platelets, you would be in the registry.”

Me: “You see, that’s also why I almost never call back.”

(I called back the next day, got another lady on the phone, and surprisingly — not really — got an appointment booked, as she very easily found me in the registry.)

Sick Burn, Bro!
Doctor/Physician, Germany, Health & Body, Home, Siblings, Stupid | Healthy | July 10, 2018
(The minute my brother graduates from medical school, my family turns him into their private doctor. Every little ailment or problem is run by him, even if it’s something completely normal. Our grandparents especially tend to call him at the oddest times to ask about this thing hurting or this bit feeling weird. One day in my kitchen, I burn myself very badly all over my upper arm. I don’t have time or money to go to the ER or see a doctor, so I just treat it the way I learned in first-aid class. It heals fine, except the area of skin is now a darker shade than the rest, and rougher.)

Brother: *noticing the dark, scarred areas a few weeks later* “[My Name], what’s that? It looks like burn marks.”

Me: “Yep. I burned myself with boiling water, but I treated it this way–” *explains everything I did*

Brother: “Okay, luckily you did do everything properly, but I’m still angry. You’re literally the first one in the family to actually need my medical expertise, and you didn’t ask for it?!”

Me: “I didn’t want to bother you like the grandparents do all the time.”

Brother: “You had second degree burns! Maybe even third! You should’ve seen a doctor, like your own brother.”

(I agree now that I was young, naive, and quite dumb not to call him. I’m planning to cover the scars with tattoos, anyway. My brother has requested at least one tattoo dedicated to him to remind me of my own stupidity.)

OMG-YN
Columbus, Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Ohio, Silly, USA | Healthy | July 9, 2018
(After 20 years of seeing only female OB/GYNs, I have moved to a new city and can only get in to see a male gynecologist. I have been reassured by a friend, who is also a doctor, that he is one of the best in his field, but I’m nervous even after chatting with him at his desk. Once I’m by myself and getting “into the position” in an exam room, I notice only one stirrup is up, leaving my foot away from the wall hanging loose.)

Doctor: *knocks politely before entering* “Okay, are you settled in?”

Me: “Well, I couldn’t scoot to the edge of the table because only one stirrup is working. Is it broken?”

Doctor: *smiling and wincing* “No, I just wait until I’m seated to move up that one. Walking into it once was enough to never let that happen again.”

Me: *realizing it would be at groin level for him as well as for me* “Well, that is an occupational hazard I wouldn’t have considered!”

(He’s still my doctor a dozen years later.)

When Patients Need Patience
Bad Behavior, California, Hospital, Jerk, Los Angeles, Nurses, Patients, Time, USA | Healthy | July 8, 2018
(I am in the waiting room of an OBGYN office I’ve never been to before. It is the only one in the area that is in my HMO insurance network. It’s late morning; appointments are not meant to be longer than 20 minutes, so I am planning to attend classes afterwards. When I walk in, I’m told that there is an extremely long wait time, even though we all have timed appointments — and are actually meant to be seen at that time. Though every hospital and office in this entire HMO company has a policy that if a patient checks in more than 15 minutes late they lose their appointment, obviously no equal rules have ever applied to providers being penalized for lateness. I have waited an hour already. Another patient, who is waiting for the same doctor, is sitting next to me with her newborn baby.)

Patient: “Oh, yeah. It’s aaaaalways been this way in this office for as long as I’ve been coming here. They’re aaaaalways extremely behind schedule.”

(This is not reassuring; since she’s got a baby, one can assume she’s been a patient with frequent appointments here for at least nine months.)

Patient: “Yeah, that’s why I’ve always made sure to get the very first appointment super-early in the morning. That’s absolutely the only way to get out of here on time. I just couldn’t manage it today. Oh, but don’t worry; I’ll be super-quick with my appointment, only five minutes. So you all won’t have to wait too much longer!”

(It’s nice of her, but we’re all already extremely late, anyway. I’m pretty appalled that a woman with a newborn is being made to wait around like this for well over an hour; luckily, her baby keeps on sleeping. I also wonder, if this office always runs severely late, why don’t they at least warn patients when we make our appointments? Many patients go up to ask the nurses several times what is going on with the excessive wait time. From overhearing them, it becomes clear that at least half a dozen of them are waiting for the same doctor I am, who appears to be the main cause of waiting-room congestion. The nurses seem extremely practiced at politely fobbing us off while giving non-answers about why this is happening or how much longer it’ll be, as well as pretending to be helpless and confused themselves, while giving off the heavy impression that this is actually all “business as usual.” I’m extremely unhappy; there is no end to the wait in sight, and it’s clear I’ll miss my classes. In other circumstances I’d just leave, but I am there because of suspicion of a uterine tumor and absolutely need to have tests done. Most people resign themselves to waiting, except for one young woman, who checked in 20 minutes after me, and keeps on whining to the nurses over and over. After waiting less than an hour, she starts going towards the exit door in showy slow-motion, while she declares extra loudly to the entire room that she’s leaving since she must get back to her job. I feel extremely skeptical of this, as she is dressed very unprofessionally, even by the standards of the most casual minimum-wage job, and has multiple large, prominent facial piercings.)

Nurse: “Oh, no! No, Ms. [Whiny Patient], don’t leave!”

Whiny Patient: “Oh, I absolutely have to get back to work! There’s no way I can stay here any longer!”

Nurse: “If you wait just a moment, I’ll go right away to ask the doctor if she can accommodate you sooner! Just wait right here!”

(The nurse goes inside the medical office, and comes back within two minutes to call the whiny patient in to be seen by the doctor immediately. I am shocked, as I know this girl was in line behind me, and there’s still at least one other person in front of me, as well. I go up to the nurses again.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I believe that young woman who just went in is seeing the same doctor as me, and several other people here.”

Nurse: “Well, yes, she is in with [Doctor].”

Me: “Did you really just call her in ahead of all of us, including those that were here first?!”

Nurse: “Well, yes. You see, she is in a very great hurry to get back to work. So we just had to see her now. [Doctor] did her a favor and managed to squeeze her in sooner.” *without appearing to realize the actual obvious meaning of that sentence*

Me: “Oh, my God, really?! [Doctor] did her a favor and squeezed her in?! What you’re actually saying is you talked Dr. [Doctor] into seeing her sooner, at all of the rest of our expense, without even consulting us! Neither [Doctor] nor any of you lost anything by doing this! You all just chose to steal several other people’s time for your own convenience of not having to explain the reason behind the patient’s appointment cancellation after she’d already showed up and paid for it! Wow, I wish I’d thought of getting up, whining a lot, and loudly threatening to leave; apparently it would have gotten me seen a lot sooner, too!”

(Even besides me, there were very good odds that some of the other patients also had to get to work — no one was even asked. But we all acted like adults and dealt with it instead of making a loud fuss to skip ahead of others in line. The nurse and doctor just decided that since we didn’t throw up a fuss, it automatically meant our time was worthless compared to [Whiny Patient]’s, and could be taken away from us with no notice. [Whiny Patient]’s appointment was not quick in the least. By the time she left, and then they finished with the other patient ahead of me, I was called in a whopping hour and 42 minutes later than my scheduled appointment time. While [Doctor] seemed likable and competent in person — once I finally got to see her — I couldn’t help questioning both her character and her competency in my head through the entire appointment because of the unprofessional mess with the waiting room. After leaving there, since they’d already ensured I would fully miss all my classes that day, I went straight up a couple of floors in the hospital, to the Member Services department– where they saw me very promptly, even with no appointment — and submitted a complaint face-to-face with a nice, attentive employee who typed up everything I told him. I made sure to tell him every detail, including the 1:40 wait time and the long-time patient who told me that the OBGYN office always operates this way. It’s been several years, and I have never gone back to that office.)

Initially Brilliant
Friends, Home, Norway, Patients, Silly | Healthy | July 7, 2018
(A close friend of mine is visiting me for dinner. She has leukemia, but is in remission at this point. It should probably be noted that we share a pretty dark sense of humor, which is how we both cope with her illness.)

Me: “What have you been doing lately?”

Friend: “I had tests at [Only Major Hospital in the area] this week.”

Me: “Oh, that sucks. I was there with mom when she had tests done a few years back, and the wait was horrible. There’s always so many people!”

Friend: “Oh, I got seen pretty quickly.”

Me: “Did you get there early, or was it good timing?”

Friend: “No, I just put [Initials] in the top corner of the admission forms, and they took me right in.”

Me: “What do they mean?”

Friend: “It’s the shorthand code for ‘to be seen immediately.’ My doctors used it all the time. I just put it in myself, now.”

Me: *laughing* “I knew you were wicked! You’re skipping the line in the hospital?”

Friend: *also laughing* “Hey, I have cancer! And also better things to do with my time than wait in line.”

(Unfortunately, her cancer returned, twice, and she lost the battle against it several years ago. But stories like this one still make me laugh when I tell people about her.)