(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
Alabama, Awesome Workers, Criminal & Illegal, Pharmacy, USA | Legal | September 14, 2018
(I am 17, and a cashier at a big pharmacy store. I work at the front registers, while the pharmacy and pharmacy registers are in the back of the store, out of view. If people are purchasing items in the store and also picking up a prescription, then the pharmacy is allowed to ring up their purchases, as well, with the exception of alcohol. A man walks from the back of the store carrying two large cases of beer. I start to move away from the door and head to a register to ring him up; however, before I even make it two steps, I stop, as the guy is still walking straight towards me. Without thinking, I put out my hand and stop him; it seems to surprise him that a small girl would physically stop him, especially as he is more than twice my size. Instead of faltering or backing down, I stand firm.)
Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to get you to go over to the register to check you out before I can allow you to leave with that.”
Man: “Oh, don’t worry, little lady; I already paid for this in the pharmacy.”
Me: “Sir, if that is the case, then I do apologize, but I will need to look at your receipt just to verify. I hope you understand.”
Man: “Well, I don’t have my receipt; I told them they could keep it.”
(I’ve already broken one rule by physically touching the man, but I’m not going to break another by outright accusing him of theft.)
Me: “In that case, please let me walk back there with you so that we can clear this up with them. You see, it’s against store policy to ever ring up alcohol back at the pharmacy, so I really need to know who rang you up so that they can be dealt with appropriately. If you are still unwilling to do this, then I am going to have to ask you to either let me ring you up for a second time, or you can leave the beer here, but without actual proof of purchase I cannot allow you to leave the store with the beer.”
(The man just kind of looks at me for about twenty seconds and then glances over to my supervisor, who is still standing next to the door. However, she is in her 60s, and I’m sure this man could probably overpower both of us. Luckily, things end rather well. The man looks back at me and sits both cases of beer on the floor.)
Man: “All right, here you go. I’ll go ahead and leave now.”
(With that, the man actually just walks out of the store. After he is gone, my supervisor turns to me with the most shocked expression on her face, and I can feel my heart about to explode out of my chest.)
Me: “Oh, no. Did I actually just physically stop a man and then keep him from shoplifting?! I can’t believe that just happened.”
Supervisor: “Yeah, I’ve never seen something like that before, but please, next time, just let him walk out of the store. It’s not worth your life trying to stop someone from getting a couple of cases of beer. You never know if someone is crazy, or drunk, or just doesn’t care.”
Australia, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Jerk, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Friendly | September 4, 2018
One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.
One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.
The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.
The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!
Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018
(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)
Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*
Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”
Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”
Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”
Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”
Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”
Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”
Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*
(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)
Children, England, Overheard, Pharmacy, UK | Right | August 24, 2018
(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)
Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”
Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”
(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)
Jerk, Pharmacy, Strangers, USA | Friendly | August 19, 2018
(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)
Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”
Me: “Okay, thank you.”
(A few minutes pass.)
Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”
Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”
Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”
Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”
(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)
Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”
Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”
Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”
Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”
Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”
Woman: “It should be ready.”
Cashier: *nods*
Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”
Me: “I can.”
Woman: “What?”
Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”
Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”
Me: “You asked.”
Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”
Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”
Woman: “How dare you?!”
(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)
Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”
Woman: “Where is mine?”
Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”
Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”
Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”
Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good day.”
Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018
(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)
Me: “Hello there.”
Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”
(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)
Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”
Customer: “Mrrr..”
Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”
Customer: *coughs and whimpers*
(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)
Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”
Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”
Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018
(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)
Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*
Me: “Sorry, what was that?”
Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”
Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”
Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”
Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”
Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”
Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”
Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*
Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”
Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*
(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)
Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018
I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.
I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.
I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”
The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.
Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.
So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store
Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018
(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)
Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”
Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”
Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”
Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”
Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”
Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”
Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”
Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*
(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)
Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, USA | Right | August 2, 2018
(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)
Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”
Customer: “But I want it.”
Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”
Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”
(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes
Customer: “Is it ready yet?”
Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”
Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”
(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)
Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time.”
No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down
Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 31, 2018
(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)
Guy: “My girlfriend.”
Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”
Guy: “[First Name].”
(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)
Me: “What’s her last name?”
Guy: “[Last Name].”
(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)
Me: “And what’s her address, please?”
(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)
Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”
(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)
Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”
Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”
Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”
Guy: “No!”
Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”
(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)
Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”
Guy: “Why?”
Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”
Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”
Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”
Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”
Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”
Guy: “I don’t have mine.”
Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”
Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”
(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)
Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”
(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)
Me: “What’s your address?”
Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”
Me: *blink*
(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)
Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”
Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”
(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)
Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018
(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)
Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”
Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”
Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”
(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)
Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”
Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”
Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “
(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)
Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018
Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”
Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”
Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”
(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)
Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”
Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”
Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”
Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”
(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)
Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”
Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”
(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)
Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”
Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”
Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”
(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)
Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”
Customer: “I did!”
Me: “No… you didn’t.”
Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”
(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)
Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”
Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”
Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”
Me: “Uh… Yes?”
(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)
Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”
(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)
Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”
Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”
(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)
Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”
(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)
Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”
(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)
Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”
At The Checkout, Coupon, Kentucky, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 24, 2018
(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)
Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”
Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”
Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”
Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”
Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”
Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”
Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*
Coupon, Florida, Jerk, Retail, USA | Right | May 24, 2018
(Just 30 minutes from closing time, a last customer comes into the store with a few items. They want to use a special store coupon that requires a person to spend a certain amount of money to earn the discount.)
Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [Store]. Are you enrolled in our rewards program.”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “All right, then.”
(I then begin to scan the customer’s items, and turn the monitor toward him to see the prices as they ring up. He stops me as I hit a pair a glasses.)
Customer: “Uh, that’s not the right price; those glasses are supposed to be 30% off.”
Me: “Okay, just give me one second to check that.”
(I leave the register to where the glasses are located, and find out he is correct. I then head back to the register without a word and adjust the price.)
Customer: “Oh! I also have this $30-off coupon that I got, but I didn’t realise it expired on the third.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.”
Customer: “Is their any way you can see if it will still accept it?”
(Scanning the coupon, I try to see if our system will still accept it, but it does not.)
Me: “Sorry, sir, but the system won’t take it anymore.”
Customer: “All right, I want to speak to a manager, then.”
(Agitated, I grab a nearby radio, and call for a manager to my department. I discover my radio has died, so I leave to the nearby jewelry counter to ask an associate to call a manager for me and head back to wait for my manager.)
Manager: “What’s going on here?”
(The customer proceeds to explain the current situation to him.)
Manager: “All right, just take ten dollars off the three items, anyway.”
(Frustrated, I manually adjust the prices of the items and my manager leaves.)
Me: “Okay. Your new total is $43.75.”
Customer: “Hmm, that’s still not right.”
(Manually adjusting the price automatically removes any sales prices on them. So I tinker even further on the prices. By this point, the system is denying my price changes.)
Me: “Your new total is $35.25.”
Customer: “Still not the right price.”
(Frustrated, I throw in a manual twenty dollar discount.)
Me: “Total… is $15.25.”
Customer: “That’s better, thank you.”
(He swiped his card. I bagged his items and handed him his receipt.)
Alberta, At The Checkout, Canada, Coupon, Retail | Right | April 21, 2018
(A woman comes up to my register to pay for her items.)
Me: “Hi, is that all for you today?”
Customer: “Yes. I have a $5 coupon on my phone; I just need to pull it up.”
Me: “Okay, great, no problem.”
(I see her struggle to load the page; after a few moments she shows me a blank screen.)
Customer: “It’s not loading, but it’s right here.”
Me: “I’m sorry. Since that’s just a blank page and there’s no barcode or sku number, there’s no way I can actually put the coupon into the system.”
Customer: “There has to be a way you can honour it! Can I speak to a manager?”
Me: “She’s not in right now; it’s just me. But even if she was, there’s no way our system will let us use the coupon since we can’t actually see it.”
(I spend a few more minutes trying to help her get the page to load. After a moment, I realize she’s connected to a Wi-Fi hotspot several blocks away.)
Me: “Do you have LTE?”
Customer: *blank stare*
Me: “Do you have mobile Internet on your smartphone? If you do, you’ll be able to connect to the Internet, as we don’t have Wi-Fi here.”
Customer: “I don’t have that.”
Me: “Okay, then, I’m sorry. It’s not possible for me to take your coupon today.”
Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What good is a coupon if I can’t even use it?!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Next time be sure to print the coupon, or take a screenshot next time you are connected to the Internet.”
Customer: “This isn’t fair! You should be able to honour it!”
Me: “It’s not our fault that you don’t have Internet, ma’am. I’m sorry that you feel inconvenienced.”
(I ring up her purchase.)
Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”
Customer: *mumbles incoherently, snatches her bag, and storms off*
At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Department Store, Hawaii, Jerk, USA | Right | March 9, 2018
(I’ve worked part-time at this location of a nation-wide department store for several years, and by now I am the most senior employee in the women’s clothing department. I’m good at customer service, and a lot of our customers know and like me, which has its upsides and downsides. I am serving [Customer #1 ], a woman in her 60s who talks about all the trips she takes abroad, and the souvenirs she buys for hundreds to thousands of dollars, while she won’t buy anything from us that runs over $15. She is also incredibly picky about her purchases and the way they’re folded and bagged, and she refuses to ring up with anybody but me, since I’m the only one who “does it right.” Standing in line behind her is [Customer #2 ], a woman in her 40s for whom I once tracked down a $20-off coupon, who has also insisted I be the one to ring her up ever since. She has a habit of coming to me to check prices on everything she finds, walking right past the price scanner, and several times has asked me to wait in the middle of a transaction so she can grab more of a cheap item, even if the item is on the second floor and there are several people in line behind her. This is the first time I’ve had to deal with these two customers one after the other.)
Customer #1 : “Hi, my dear. How are you?” *she sets six clearance shirts on the register* “These should all be $9.99.”
(I smile even while dreading this transaction, because that’s the classic line customers give when they KNOW that stuff isn’t the price they think it “should” be. This customer acts like a sweet grandmother when kept happy, but turns instantly mean when she doesn’t get what she wants.)
Me: “Let’s see… Oh, it looks like these two that say $9.99 on the tag are okay, but these four that say, ‘75% off,’ are from the clearance rack next to it.”
Customer #1 : *suddenly scowls* “That’s it. Get me your manager. I’ve told them time and time again: I won’t put up with this here. This is ridiculous; nothing is ever in its proper place—”
Me: “I apologize for that; we just had our big sale yesterday, and unfortunately, we haven’t been able to finish putting back everything that was misplaced. Let me go ahead and adjust those for you.”
Customer #1 : *smiling again* “Oh, thank you, my dear. You’re always so kind.”
(She talks about her last expensive trip while I ring her up, changing all the clearance items that were already only $10 to $17 to $9.99.)
Me: “All right, ma’am, your total is $58. Do you have your coupons with you?”
(We usually don’t, as those are mailed directly to the customer, but I check around the register, anyway.)
Me: “I’m afraid not. I have an extra 20%-off I can use, though.”
Customer #1 : *gesturing to the customer being rung up at the register behind me* “Well, does she have one?”
(I pause for a moment, but manage to keep my smile up as I politely ask two other customers waiting in line if they have a coupon I can scan. No one does, and [Customer 1#] decides to put her things on hold until she can get a $20-off coupon. [Customer #2 ] comes up to the register, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.)
Customer #2 : “I’ve done her nails before. She’s always like that. So, do you have a $20-off coupon?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. I just looked for one a minute ago.”
(I start ringing up her items.)
Customer #2 : “Wait. All these pants should be $4.99!”
Me: “…”
(I look down at her pants, one of which has a $4.99 tag, while all the rest have 75%-off tags.)
Me: “You know what? I’ll just adjust those for you.”
(I finish ringing her up, and after she leaves, I turn to one of my managers who came to stand by me a few minutes ago, still smiling brightly.)
Me: “Shoot me.”
Manager: “What? Why? They’re both really nice women…”
Me: “…”
Manager: “…most of the time.”
([Customer #1 ] comes running back to the register, waving a coupon above her head.)
Bad Behavior, Canada, Coupon, Crazy Requests, Jerk, Ontario, Restaurant | Right | October 24, 2017
(I am working at the cash register during our supper hour when we get a lot of customers coming through. Note that very recently, we have released coupons to arrive in the mail for every household, as well as printable versions. Customers are allowed to use more than one coupon at a time.)
Me: “Hi, I can help you over here.”
Customer: “I have multiple coupons today.” *pulls out her purse and proceeds to pull out five printed coupons*
(These coupons are “Buy one, get one free.” So, with a sandwich and a medium fry, one can get a second sandwich for free. She starts giving me her order, consisting of four burgers, four orders of nuggets, two chicken burgers, one large wrap, two small wraps, and five orders of fries.)
Me: “So that’ll be $51.95. Is this for here or to go?”
Customer: “That’ll be to go, dear.” *sits down and waits for her order*
(A coworker helps me deal with the rest of the customers in line. While they come and go, the first customer patiently waits for a while, staring at her remaining coupons, before coming back up to the counter. She calls me over to help her.)
Customer: “I would like to remake my order, using these coupons instead.” *she presents five printed coupons for a “two can dine for $10.49” deal*
Me: “Um… Let me ask a manager to see if they can help out.”
(I find the closest manager and explain the situation, and my manager refunds the order and hands her back her money. She then proceeds to put in the same order, using the new coupons. These coupons come with two sandwiches, two medium fries, and two medium drinks per coupon, so her order now also includes ten orders of fries and ten drinks. When asked if this is all right with the customer, she responds that it was fine.)
Manager: “So, after putting in the new coupons, your total is now $70.08.”
Customer: “But each coupon is $10; that can’t be right.”
Manager: “It’s $10 per coupon, but this is also with your drinks and extra fries, plus your wraps.”
Customer: *slams down her refund money from earlier* “Well, this is unacceptable! I want my order done the way it was before!”
(My manager had to redo the order once again, leaving my coworker to deal with the rest of the crowded lobby. Our line-up didn’t get any smaller as long as she was there, who kept us busy for about 20 minutes to make sure her order was done correctly.)
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