Who Traumatized This Poor Tech?!
Bad Behavior, Employees, Insurance, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | January 26, 2022
Due to a variety of circumstances, our health insurance benefits come from my husband’s former (lousy) employer. They have switched to a new plan that is horrible. I signed us up for a plan from the marketplace but we are forced to keep the current plan for a month. I need to pick up a refill on my husband’s medication and it’s less than a week before Christmas.

Me: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Husband].”

Tech: “Sure. Can I get a date of birth?”

She enters the date of birth and freezes, staring at the computer. Finally, she starts to speak.

Tech: “Um, yeah, so, uh, we, we got his inhaler. It, um, it came in today.”

Me: “Okay?”

Tech: “So, it’s um, the insurance…”

Me: “I assume it’s more expensive under this plan.”

Tech: “Uh, yeah. It’s $405.00.”

Me: “Holy s***. Okay.”

Tech: “So, do you want it?”

Me: “It’s not that I want it. It’s that he needs it, so… yeah.”

Tech: “It’s $405.00.”

Me: “Yes.”

Tech: “Hang on. I’m trying to figure this out.”

Me: “This is horrible insurance. It just started at the beginning of this month and we have new insurance starting next month. I know that’s why. It doesn’t matter about the details.”

Tech: “HANG ON! I’M TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT!”

I stand there, stunned.

Tech: “They are saying you haven’t reached your deductible yet. Your deductible is—”

Me: *Interrupting* “I know. This plan started this month. We have a new plan for next year. We will never reach the deductible.”

Tech: *Almost yelling* “I know it’s almost Christmas. I can’t help it!”

Me: “Unless you are actually an insurance company executive in disguise, it’s not your fault. Are you ready for my card?”

Tech: “MA’AM! IT’S $405.00!”

The pharmacist, who had been helping another customer, comes over.

Pharmacist: “It’s fine, [Tech]. She’s not upset. She’s not yelling. Just ring her up.”

Tech: “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

Pharmacist: “I know. But she’s not mad at you. Just move and I’ll finish up.”

Just then, the store manager and a security guard come RUNNING toward us.

Manager: “Did they get away?”

Pharmacist: “Who? What’s going on?” *Pauses* “OH, MY GOD! [TECH]! Did you hit the panic button?!”

Tech: “Yes, she was upset.”

Pharmacist: “She was shocked at the price but she was not a problem.”

Manager: “What’s going on?”

Pharmacist: “This lady was picking up a refill. Last month it was $45. The new insurance price was $405.00”

Manager: “HOLY S***!”

Pharmacist: “That’s what the customer said, but she was much quieter about it. She wasn’t yelling or upset. She was just very surprised. I’m going to have a talk with [Tech]. There’s no issue here. You guys can leave.”

He manages to finish things up and I pay. All the while, the manager and security guard stand there, staring at me.

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I’m really sorry about all this. You did nothing wrong.”

Me: “Look, don’t be too hard on her. I’m going to assume that most people scream at her for things like this. I was expecting the price to have gone up — maybe not by 800% but up. I’m sorry if she thought I was yelling.”

Pharmacist: “You were fine. I think she just needs to take her break now.”

I sincerely hope she calmed down during her break.

13 Reasons Why I Hate Working Here
Coupon, Impossible Demands, Minnesota, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Right | January 24, 2022
During my high school sophomore year, I worked at a large chain pharmacy store through a couple of the major holidays and the dreaded 13¢ coupon days.

I hated the 13¢ coupon days. The store is right next door to an assisted living building for folks over fifty-five that are still well enough to live on their own but sometimes need help. These folks lived for the 13¢ coupon days. They came in droves and snatched up as much as they could for every 13¢ coupon that was in the weekly flyer.

The 13¢ coupons were usually for smaller, knickknack-type things, something you normally wouldn’t want to spend money on, but these people gobbled up the items. We had pencils, large erasers, travel items — such as hand lotion — that kind of thing. Within the first day, we would easily be out of a lot of these items, and the old people would just rant and scream at us for not having more and then demand rain checks to be made.

The manager would have to explain to them that the coupons do not get rain checks and that all items on the coupons are first-come, first-serve. So many angry, blue-haired old ladies. It sucked.

If The Employees Are Terrible, What Does That Make Me?
I Don't Work Here, Jerk, Pharmacy, Reddit, Retail | Right | CREDIT: Cow_Toolz | January 21, 2022
Earlier this year, I was in a pharmacy that was having a sale on makeup, with all the sale items together on one table. I had an armful of products and was searching through the rest for particular colours, moving things around, putting some things back when I found something I liked better, etc.

A woman who was part of a middle-aged couple came into my aisle and stood a few displays away behind me, complaining to her partner about the pharmacy and how she couldn’t find something.

I was focused on what I was doing so I wasn’t really listening to their conversation; my brain just registered some kind of sarcastic white noise that was getting increasingly louder and more passive-aggressive.

Her partner was quietly trying to hush her as she continued to exaggeratedly sigh and moan to him.

Woman: “This pharmacy’s employees are terrible. Gah, I need helllp!”

From the time she’d walked into the aisle, she had just stood there and never attempted to go find an employee or whatever it was she was after.

Finally, she very loudly and exasperatedly bellowed:

Woman: “Does she even work here?!”

I was startled by the outburst and turned around to look at her, finding her looking shocked and turning red because that was the exact moment when she realised that, no, I didn’t work there and wasn’t some employee ignoring her, and also the moment when I realised that the whole two minutes or so of sighing and nasty comments were actually aimed at me.

Flustered, she grabbed her partner’s arm and marched past me without making eye contact, still complaining about the pharmacy and its “terrible service,” though now in the erratic tone of someone trying to convince themselves they hadn’t just done something embarrassing.

I was dressed in all black (not anything like the employee uniform, but not out of the realm of possibility that I could work there) and I can understand how she might have thought I was restocking or sorting the sale table, but what a way to go about it instead of just asking, “Excuse me, do you work here?”

That’s A Lotta Honkin’ Anger
Bad Behavior, Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, USA | Right | January 4, 2022
I’m a new employee at the drive-thru window of my pharmacy. A rather notorious customer drives up. Legends in the pharmacy say that every time she’s in, she has a problem with something that results in a full-blown tantrum. She pulls up to the window.

Customer: “My doctor was supposed to have faxed over my scripts.”

After checking our fax machine, it’s clear that there’s nothing there.

Me: “Ma’am, do you know the name of the medication?”

She names one that is a controlled substance.

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but the doctor cannot fax that script. It is required by law that they write it on a physical slip and have you bring it in.”

Customer: “No, my doctor faxed it last month.”

Me: “I’m sorry for any confusion about your medications, but there is no way a doctor can fax a prescription of that specific medicine without getting in serious trouble.”

I check the system and can see where she brought in the physical script last month and had it filled, but there are none current. Now there’s a line of cars behind hers.

Me: “Ma’am, could you please park and come in? I can show you a copy of what your script would look like so that if you misplaced it, you know what to look for.”

She starts laying on the horn in her anger, causing a five-second honk between every sentence.

Customer: “NO!” *Honk!* “MY DOCTOR FAXED IT IN!” *Honk!* “FILL IT AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW!” *Honk!* “CHECK THE FAX MACHINE AGAIN!” *Honk!*

Me: “It’s not there, ma’am. I already checked when you first asked, and now that I know the name of the medication, I also know for a fact that your doctor wouldn’t have faxed it.”

Now she’s honking and screaming. I learn a few new swear words, and I also learn that she has no understanding whatsoever about how anatomy works. She eventually calms herself a little as something occurs to her.

Customer: “Maybe it fell on the floor. Check the floor!”

Me: “Ma’am, it did not fall on the floor because it was not faxed over. It is illegal to fax a script for this medication.”

Now cars are hanging out into a busy street, waiting in line.

Customer: “CHECK. THE. FLOOR. NOW!”

I sigh, walk away from the window, lean against the nearest wall with my arms crossed for ten seconds, and then come back.

Me: “It’s not there. Like I told you. You need to bring the script in your hands. Please go home and call your doctor, because clearly, you left his office without your script. There’s nothing further I can do about it.”

Customer: “You call my doctor!”

Me: “I am not going to call your doctor because one of you forgot to get a controlled substance prescription. That’s between you and their office. Please go home and call your doctor.”

She screeches and starts banging on her steering wheel, randomly slapping the horn. The pharmacist gestures to me, indicating that it’s time to stop engaging with her.

Me: “Have a great night!”

When I walk away, indicating that she has reached the end of our interaction, she lays on the horn. She simply plants her hand on the horn and refuses to let up.

Pharmacist: “Huh. She’s unusually mellow tonight. Perhaps her medications are working.”

Me: *Pauses* “I don’t want to work on a bad night.”

In the end, the police had to be called to make her move her vehicle.

Giving Their Anger A Boost
Current Events, Impossible Demands, Jerk, Missouri, Pharmacy, USA | Right | January 3, 2022
It’s booster time at the pharmacy and the lobby is completely full of people: people standing in line to be helped and people sitting in chairs waiting for shots. We have TWO registers and a couple of computers for checking people in. People are picking up prescriptions, dropping off prescriptions, getting checked in for shots, getting rung out for shots, and also receiving their required paperwork to do shots. I am barely staying on top of helping everybody while I check people in and ring people out. We’re fully staffed but in the middle of a Monday morning rush.

Without warning, a customer comes up to the counter.

Customer: “My appointment was at 11:30.”

It’s now 12:15 pm.

Me: “Did you check in?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to check in; I did all that online.”

I’m thinking, “Okay, he just made his appointment online, showed up at 11:30, and sat his butt down expecting someone would eventually give him a shot.”

Customer: “You’re not doing your job. I want to speak to the pharmacy manager!”

Me: “The pharmacy manager is not here, but I can get the store manager.”

Customer: *Pointing* “Who’s that guy over there?”

Me: “He’s our staff pharmacist.”

He gets angry and accuses me again of not doing my job, saying that he shouldn’t have to check in, so I go page the store manager.

Customer: “I have to leave soon. Just give me my shot.”

In the time this has taken, my coworkers and I have managed to check him in.

Me: “You have to fill out this paperwork and I have to ring you out.”

Customer: “I’ll fill out the paper; just give me my shot.”

I hand him the paper and he starts to walk away. At this point, the store manager shows up.

Store Manager: “What’s going on?”

Me: “This guy has a problem with us.”

The store manager went to talk to him, so I went in the back part of the pharmacy and complained to my coworkers about the insanity of it all.

When you go to a doctor’s office, you check in at the counter and you sit down and patiently wait for a nurse to call you back. Not once have I ever seen somebody throwing a self-entitled tantrum at the doctor’s office. Yet people seem to find it okay to abuse hard-working pharmacy employees who are trying their best to help everyone.

Do They Prescribe Caffeine Pills Here?
Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, UK | Working | December 31, 2021
I need to regularly obtain a specific over-the-counter medication to treat a mild chronic condition. I have been using this now for getting on for a decade.

This is how it goes whenever I go to the only local pharmacy that stocks it, which is about once every two months. The encounter is with exactly the same member of staff every time.

Me: “Hi, I’d like two packages of [medication], please.”

Employee: *Looking at me blankly* “What’s that?”

Having anticipated this, I show her an empty package of the last consignment.

Me: “It’s this.”

She looks at it with a puzzled expression on her face.

Employee: “I don’t know whether we stock this.”

Me: “You had it last time I came in, a couple of months ago.”

Employee: “I wouldn’t know. I don’t think we have it.”

Me: “Can you ask one of the dispensing pharmacists?”

Employee: “Well, okay, but …”

And she drifts off out back, where I see her through a window showing the package to the pharmacist on duty, who instantly goes to where it’s stocked and shows her where it is, and hence, she picks up a fresh package of [medication].

Employee: “Is this what you wanted?”

Me: “Yes, please. Can I have two, please? It saves me a journey if I can have two of them.”

Employee: “I don’t know whether we have two.”

Me: “Can you just check? It saves me a journey.”

She wanders out back again, where she talks to the pharmacist on duty again, who goes to exactly the same place as last time, showing her where it is again.

Me: “Can I have the old one back?”

Employee: “What old one?”

Me: “The one I gave you to show you what it was.”

She floats once more out the back, where she talks once more to the pharmacist, who picks up the old package from the counter where the subject of our anecdote put it down, and puts it into her hand.

Me: *Eventually* “Thank you.”

I paid and left.

This Lady Is Soul-Destroying
Instant Karma, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | December 16, 2021
A woman asks to cut me in the prescription pickup line because she is very sick. I am also very sick and can barely stand, but she is much older, and the line is at least twelve people deep. I am going to agree. But then…

Customer: *Screaming* “Oh, just forget it! I can already tell you’re not gonna let me. You’re heartless!”

Me: “Well, you didn’t give me a chance to respond.”

Customer: *Yelling* “That’s because you have no soul!”

Me: “You’re right. Enjoy the back of the line.”

She asks a few people behind me and they all say, “No.” I hear one man say:

Other Customer: “I don’t have a soul, either. Sorry.”

Throwing A Fit Doesn’t Mean You Have To Do That!
Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Reddit, Wild & Unruly | Right | CREDIT: Miss_Drew | December 11, 2021
My first job as a teenager was at a large chain pharmacy that also sold food and home goods. The store was near several assisted living homes, so we had mostly elderly customers.

One day, I was asked to work the register in the pharmacy with the pharmacy tech to assist with long lines. I had caught up with customers and was just standing around while the tech rang up an older lady. She had picked up a few groceries from the store area and wanted to check out at the pharmacy register with her prescription pickup. No problem. The tech pulled up her file on the computer.

Tech: “I’m afraid this prescription isn’t covered by your insurance, ma’am.”

She became absolutely livid!

Customer: “How dare you withhold my medicine?! Give me the price with insurance coverage!”

Tech: “Ma’am, we simply can’t do that. We have no control over what the insurance decides to cover.”

This elderly woman then proceeded to pick up her carton of eggs and throw them at the pharmacy tech! He dodged the eggs and they exploded all over the floor behind the desk. She then pulled her purse up over her shoulder, turned around, and stomped out of the store.

The whole time, I just stood there in shock, watching it all go down. I had never seen someone act that way! The tech calmly brushed it off as if it was a normal occurrence. I grabbed the mop bucket and we cleaned up the mess together.

Customers That Will Give You Blisters
Bad Behavior, Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 30, 2021
I’m a doctor, working at a public night shift service. It’s kind of like an emergency room but for non-emergencies, to keep the hospitals clear of white codes. We treat anything from a fever to a sore throat to prescriptions for urgent treatments.

A woman walks in at 3:00 am asking for a prescription for hypertension drugs, which isn’t unusual, as people sometimes don’t notice they’re running low.

The law (not a rule, not my decision — the law) states that our service can only write prescriptions for potentially life-threatening conditions’ drugs for a maximum of seventy-two hours’ coverage, so if you take one pill a day, I can only prescribe you a single blister.

While I’m writing the prescription, she casually mentions:

Customer: “I’m an insomniac. I was cleaning the medicine cabinet and I realized I’m down to my last full blister.”

My pen stops and I ask her to repeat.

Me: “Full blister?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

I void the prescription and explain to her the law. She gets mad, starts yelling, and threatens to call the cops.

Me: “Go ahead.”

The cops come, and she triumphantly announces:

Customer: “He is refusing to treat me!”

I explained the situation, and they asked her if it was true that she had a full blister. She, of course, confirmed it. The cops looked at her — still with her look of triumph, waiting for them to arrest me — then at me, and then ask her politely to leave, as I was in the right. She was livid.

The day after, my boss called me and cracked up because she went back during the day to talk to “the manager”, and my boss told her the exact same thing. Never saw her again.

We Suppose This Might Be Problematic
Employees, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 19, 2021
A particular medication that I’ve needed for a while comes in several forms: injections, suppositories, and oral pills. I’ve been on all three varieties over the past few years. This scene happens as my doctor has just switched me from injections to pills and I go to fill the new prescription at the pharmacy for the first time.

The pharmacist hands me a bottle of what looks like large pills, but I review the instructions on the label before I leave and notice that something seems off, so I go back up to the counter to ask the pharmacist a question.

Me: “Excuse me, but the instructions on this medication say to ‘insert vaginally,’ and I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be on the oral form of this medication right now. The bottle you gave me looks like pills, not suppositories, so I’m guessing it’s just mislabeled, but I want to double-check that I got the right thing before I leave.”

The pharmacist answers in a condescending voice.

Pharmacist: “No, this medication is always a suppository. Don’t swallow it; insert it vaginally.”

Me: “But I was just at my doctor’s office yesterday and he told me I’d be getting an oral version of the med now. Right now I’m taking a version of this medication that’s an intramuscular injection, so I know it comes in multiple forms. Also, I’ve been on the suppositories in the past and they didn’t look anything like this. But this is my first time taking the oral version, so I’m not positive what it’s supposed to look like. Are you sure these aren’t pills that I’m supposed to swallow orally?”

Pharmacist: “No, just follow the instructions on the label and call your doctor if you have any questions.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t make sense to me, and these really look like pills, not suppositories. Can you please just double-check the prescription before I leave?”

The pharmacist rolls his eyes and snatches the meds out of my hand. He comes back a few minutes later.

Pharmacist: “Your doctor wrote the wrong thing down, but I called and checked and you’re supposed to be on pills, not the suppositories. Here’s the correct medication for you.”

Then, he handed me back the exact same bottle of pills with a different label with instructions to “swallow by mouth”. He never apologized or acknowledged his error in any way.

I simply thanked him and left, but I’m sure glad I pay attention and aren’t afraid to advocate for myself. Even if my doctor did write the wrong instructions on some form, isn’t it supposed to be the pharmacist’s job to catch errors like that? And how could he not tell the difference between pills and suppositories? They look nothing alike!

I still see that pharmacist every time I go to that store. I just hope he hasn’t hurt anyone else by messing up their meds too badly!

Not The Boost You Were Expecting Today
Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Working | October 31, 2021
It’s the start of flu season. Several grocery store chains are offering a $5 payment for getting flu vaccinated. I’m already vaccinated against the health crisis disease, but I figure I should get flu vaccinated, too; I work closely with people.

I decide to go to one of the pharmacies that’s offering a $5 gift card. The main desk has big placards that say, “Pickup,” “Dropoff,” and, “Information”. I wait in line for information.

When I reach the technician behind the desk:

Me: “I would like the flu vaccine.”

Employee #1 : “All vaccine inquiries go to the window on the right.”

Sure enough, to the right, hidden behind some shelves that appear to be laden homeopathic medicines and such, is a little tiny archway window that looks like it’s somehow older than the whole rest of the building. For some reason, a small section of wall around that window, and only around that window, is made of red bricks. There’s a sign over the window that says, “Vaccine inquiries,” and there are information placards for both the [health crisis] vaccine and the flu vaccine.

There are three people in line in front of me. I wait my turn and then approach the desk.

Me: “Hello. I would like the flu vaccine, please.”

Employee #2 : “Okay. Can I have your ID, a credit card, and your insurance card?”

I hand him my ID and insurance card as he presses a pile of documents on a clipboard toward me.

Employee #2 : “Sign this.”

He turns his back on me to start entering information from my cards into the computer. I give the paperwork a quick read. It says, “[health crisis] vaccine.” Like a lot. In several places. It does not say, “flu vaccine,” in even one place.

Me: “Uh, sir?”

He seems busy. I wait. Finally, he turns to me

Employee #2 : “Have you got it filled out yet?”

Me: “No, sir. It’s wrong. It says, ‘[health crisis] vaccine’ and I wanted the flu vaccine.”

Employee #2 : “It’s fine. Just fill it out and sign it.”

Me: “Okay. And you’re sure this is going to be the flu vaccine?”

Employee #2 : “Yes.”

Me: “Okay.”

So, I fill it out and sign it. I also scratch out “[Health Crisis]” and write “Flu” and then initial the change. This turns out to be important later.

He takes the paperwork from me and directs me towards a third area, hidden from the first two. This area has brown painted cinder-block walls and several doors in a small cupola waiting area. The sign over it simply says, “Treatment.”

Eventually, someone comes out of one of the doors. This man is different from the lab technician I had been speaking to earlier. He’s older for one, with a strong accent that makes it clear English is not his first language.

Employee #3 : “You are here for the vaccine, yes?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Employee #3 : “[My Name], yes?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Employee #3 : “What is your birthday, yes?”

Me: “[Birthday], sir.”

Employee #3 : “Very good. Come with me. We will get you vaccinated.”

I follow him through another door to a small room, almost the size of a broom closet, but much more brightly lit.

Employee #3 : “You do not have any allergies to any medicines, no?”

Me: “No, sir, no allergies.”

Employee #3 : “You have a wife?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Employee #3 : “Good. She will be very happy that you are being safe. Please lift your sleeve. This will pinch a little. It will not hurt, no.”

He pokes my shoulder with the needle and injects it.

Employee #3 : “Very good. Go to the ‘Vaccine Inquiries’ desk to schedule your second shot, yes.”

Me: “Second shot? I thought that the flu vaccine only needed one shot. Also, uh… How do I get my five dollars?”

Employee #3 : “Flu vaccine? No, this is [health crisis] vaccine.”

Me: “I already got the [health crisis] vaccine. My insurance is going to deny a third shot.”

Employee #3 : “Please take this matter to the ‘Information’ desk. I cannot help you with this.”

Me: “Okay.”

I go back to the Information desk. There’s a different person this time, a woman. I can’t see the man I spoke to earlier.

Me: “Hey, you gave me the [health crisis] shot, and I wanted the flu shot.”

She glances at my paperwork.

Employee #4 : “It says, ‘[health crisis].’ Also, there were some issues with your payment.”

Me: “Please look closer at the paperwork, ma’am.”

She looks closer and sees that I crossed out “[health crisis]” and wrote “flu.”

Employee #4 : “I can’t accept this paperwork; it’s been altered. Do you have any paperwork that hasn’t been altered?”

Me: “I feel like maybe I should be the one asking you that, ma’am. Can I get whatever charges you’ve made on my card canceled and get the flu vaccine I asked for, please?”

Employee #4 : *Pauses* “One moment, sir, while I go get a manager.”

Me: “Thank you.”

The manager comes out and looks at the paperwork. He talks with the lady and with the employee who gave me the shot. Then, he looks at the paperwork again and starts typing on the computer. He doesn’t ask me any questions. Finally, he walks up to the front desk.

Manager: “Sir, I’ve refunded the charges against your card because it was our error. Do you still want the flu shot with us?”

Me: “No offense, sir, but I think I will be going elsewhere. Thank you very much for your assistance. I’m very glad it’s fixed. But I just want to go home now. I think I will try again elsewhere tomorrow.”

I went home and checked my bank statement. Sure enough, they had tried to charge me and then canceled the transaction. The next day, I went to a different grocery store pharmacy that was offering $5 for the flu vaccine. This time, it went very smoothly.

Caught In A Really Annoying Drug Ring
Ignoring & Inattentive, Medication, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 27, 2021
My pharmacy sends out text messages as a reminder to order refills. You can answer “YES” to have the refill placed or “NO” to opt out. I don’t like the side effects of a certain medication, so my doctor switches me to a new medication.

Text Message: “REMINDER: Your medication [first three letters] is due for a refill. Reply YES to order a refill or NO to skip.”

Me: “No.”

Text Message: “You have opted out of refilling your medication [first three letters]. If this is an error, please contact [Pharmacy] at [phone number].”

Shortly after, my phone rings with the pharmacy number.

Me: “Hello?”

Pharmacy Tech #1 : “Hi there, this is [Pharmacy Tech #1 ] at [Pharmacy]. I’m calling in regards to your prescription for [medication #1 ].”

Me: “Yeah, I just cancelled it. The doctor—”

Pharmacy Tech #1 : “Oh, you really shouldn’t. We can go ahead and schedule a refill for you over the phone.”

Me: “No, the doctor said—”

Pharmacy Tech #1 : “You need to take your medication as prescribed by your doctor.”

Me: *With a point-blank tone* “And he prescribed switching to [medication #2 ].”

Pharmacy Tech #1 : “Oh.”

I hear the mouse clicking.

Pharmacy Tech #1 : “Thank you for your time.”

Ten minutes later, I receive another text.

Text Message: “REMINDER: Your medication [first three letters] is due for a refill. Reply YES to order a refill or NO to skip.”

This is the first medication again.

Me: “NO.”

Text Message: “You have opted out of refilling your medication [first three letters]. If this is an error, please contact [Pharmacy] at [phone number].”

My phone rings again. It’s the pharmacy … again.

Me: “Hello?”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “Hi there, this is [Pharmacy Tech #2 ] at [Pharmacy]. I’m calling in regards to your prescription for [medication #1 ].”

Me: “My doctor switched me to [medication #2 ]. I just spoke with [Pharmacy Tech #1 ] and told him all about it.”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “Um… Our system shows you’re due for a refill.”

Me: “I know, but I’m not.”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “I don’t… um… you’re due. We need to schedule your refill.”

Me: “What do I have to do to get out of this loop? My doctor switched my medication. I am not filling [medication #1 ].”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “But… you’re due.”

Me: “No, thank you. Please remove this medication from my file.”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “Okay.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Ten minutes later, I received a third text for the same medication. I didn’t answer that time and they didn’t call back. When I went to pick up [medication #2 ], both technicians were there but they didn’t say anything.

The Tantrum That Never Came And The Husband Who Stopped It
Awesome, Current Events, Jerk, North Carolina, Patients, Pharmacy, Spouses & Partners, USA | Healthy | October 15, 2021
It was 7:30, and I’d dropped into my local pharmacy in order to grab a prescription on the way home. I went back to the pharmacy counter and saw a woman hovering around the counter, wearing a mask, so I did as I always do and stayed a safe distance back to wait. She turned to me, immediately, and I realized I was in for something interesting, as she immediately asked me if I was there for a vaccine. I simply replied that I was there to pick up a prescription, and I could tell from the way she turned from me that she was trying to find someone to complain to. Her attitude radiated impatience and a little entitlement, so I was ready for fireworks.

After a moment, a man came around the corner and started talking to the woman; it turned out that he was her husband. He had been looking for something on the shelves and couldn’t find it but was going to check again since they were still waiting; she requested he stay at the counter because he was “better at talking” than she was. He told her to just call for him when the pharmacists got to them and headed back off to go find whatever it was he needed.

She then proceeded to start making “ugh” huffing noises, like she was scoffing at the wait already, but she did it so often there was hardly a second between her scoffing noises. It was like a mini-tantrum to herself. I don’t know how long they’d waited before I arrived, but I had only been there for maybe two minutes, and I’ve been to the pharmacy enough to know their wait times at the counter didn’t tend to be long if there wasn’t a line, so there was almost no way she’d been waiting more than a few minutes before I arrived, as the counter and back half were empty except for a car or two outside.

After another second, the head pharmacist/doctor in charge approached the counter to ask what they needed, and she called for her husband in a clipped tone before starting off anyway without waiting for him to get back to her.

Woman: “We’re here for our boosters.”

Doctor: *Not unkindly* “We don’t take walk-ins after 1:00 pm, and we don’t have appointments after 7:00.”

He could tell they didn’t have an appointment without having to ask, considering the hour, and his tone was mostly confused and a little concerned, like maybe they’d managed to book an appointment anyway and he was about to have to deal with a massive system issue. He was clearly anticipating fallout, either way. The woman opened her mouth, and I could hear the complaint starting in her throat through the half-second of tone she got out.

Then, her husband cut her off, emphatically and in a volume and tone that were almost teacher-voice-like.

Husband: “No. He is telling us what he can and cannot do.”

He then turned to the pharmacist and, in a pleasant tone, asked again about walk-in times so he knew when best to come back. The pharmacist walked him through using the app to make an appointment and clarified what vaccine they needed the booster for. The husband seemed almost pointedly pleasant when he talked, like he was making a point to his wife about how you talk to people when you can’t get your way. She didn’t say anything else except to ask what vaccine they had because, apparently, another of the same pharmacy carried the other kind, and when they left, they left quietly and with no further tantrums.

We’re Beginning To See Why These People Are On Medication…
Alabama, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 8, 2021
It is just after a state law changes requiring us to record IDs for any and all purchased controlled prescriptions. To comply, a screen now pops up before we can complete the transaction and we cannot bypass it. We can only go back and take the controlled medicine off. Several customers/patients are unhappy with this new law.

Customer #1 : *In the drive-thru* “I have never had to show my ID before!”

Me: “It’s a new law, ma’am. Sorry for the inconvenience. I just need to see your driver’s license.”

Customer #1 : “I don’t have it! It’s at home! This is stupid! I’ll have to come back!” *Speeds off*

Later, another customer holds their ID at a hard-to-read angle and snatches it back before I have even a hope of a chance of reading the number or expiration date or checking for a hologram.

The customer quickly rattles off the ID number.

Me: “Ma’am, I need to check your ID in full and need to be able to properly read it per the law.”

Customer #2 : “I told you my number!”

This goes back and forth for a bit before the no-nonsense manager/head pharmacist walks up.

Manager: “Ma’am, either let us see your ID properly or leave.”

She huffs and holds her ID at the awkward angle again. My manager snatches her ID, holds it in clear eyesight for me so I can enter the required information, and then gives it back.

Customer #2 : “How dare you?!”

Manager: “It’s state law, Mrs. [Last Name]! Your total is total. Pay and leave.”

The customer finally complies.

Later, another customer:

Customer #3 : “You new here?”

Me: “I’ve been working here about six months, sir. The law went into effect this week. I need to see your ID, please, in order to progress.”

Customer #3 : “The h*** you do, white girl!”

I’m white; he is black.

Customer #3 : “Get [Coworker] over here!”

[Coworker] happens to be black.

Coworker: “It’s the law, [Customer #3 ]. We need your ID.”

Customer #3 : “You’re my sister and I’m your brother!”

Coworker: “I ain’t related to you! ID or get out of line.

Her Brain Has Been Transferred
Pharmacy, Stupid, Texas, USA | Right | September 10, 2021
I work in a mail-order pharmacy. We ship to several different states, but if we don’t take a certain insurance, then we will transfer the prescription to one of our sister locations. I explain to a patient that her prescription has been transferred to our sister location and that they will process it and contact her once it’s ready.

Patient: “I’ve spoken to your location before and given you the shipping and payment information.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we have already transferred that information over to them along with your prescription.”

Patient: “Wouldn’t it be easier for you to just transfer the prescription direction to that pharmacy?”

Me: “…” *Head-desk*

I’m really not sure what she thought I was saying the three times that I said, “We have transferred your prescription.”

Developing Film Is Becoming A Lost Art
Montana, Pharmacy, Photo Lab, USA | Right | September 9, 2021
We have a customer who brings in a twelve-exposure film to our camera man to be processed.

Customer: “How soon will it be back?”

Coworker: “Thursday.”

Customer: “Boy, I’m glad I didn’t bring in a twenty-four- or thirty-six-exposure film, that would take forever to come back!”

Makes sense to me!

On The Threshold Of Stupidity
Current Events, Health & Body, Pharmacy, Stupid, UK | Right | August 30, 2021
In the UK, restrictions have been lifted in most places; however, people are still required to wear a mask in certain places such as pharmacies.

A customer comes up to the counter, prescription in hand, and asks to borrow a mask as she is without one. Of course, no problem. I take her prescription, tell her it will be about five minutes, and then go and grab the box of masks. When I come back with them:

Customer: “Oh, no, thanks, it’s fine. I’m inside now.”

I suppose at least she was polite and took one when I told her they were mandatory. But who knew you could only catch a sickness over the threshold of a business’s premises?

A Prescription Explosion
Bad Behavior, Impossible Demands, Long Island, New York, Pharmacy, USA | Right | August 9, 2021
I work as a pharmacy technician at a well-known pharmacy and convenience store. A man comes up to the counter and asks for a refill on his prescription. The pharmacist informs me the doctor did not call it in yet.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the doctor still did not call in your refill.”

Customer: “Can you call him now?”

Me: “Of course!”

I call his doctor, but they have already closed for the day.

Me: “They left for the day. We can give you a few pills to hold you over.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want that! Every time I come here there is a f****** problem!”

Me: “What would you like me to do, sir?”

The customer walks away in a huff. I think this is the end of it until the phone rings thirty minutes later.

Customer #2 : “Yes, my husband was just there and told me the doctor did not refill his prescription and you told him, ‘What would you like me to do?’ What kind of s***ty customer service is that? I work all f****** day. I don’t need this s***.”

Me: “Miss, I don’t know what to tell you. I called the doctor and they had left for the day, so I offered your husband a few pills to hold him over and he refused that, as well.”

Customer #2 : “There had better be a prescription there tomorrow or I will blow up your f****** store.”

Me: “Miss, that probably would not be a good idea considering I have your name and address right in front of me.” *CLICK*

Some people are not too bright.

Sounds Like Your Brain Could Use One Of Those, Too
Employees, Funny, Pharmacy, USA, Wordplay | Working | August 2, 2021
I’m a pharmacist with a major corporate chain. I’m talking with a patient about a medication that she should have refilled but hasn’t yet.

Patient: “Oh, I don’t need that one refilled. My doctor took me off it.”

Me: “Sounds good. I’ll put that in the notes.”

Patient: *Jokingly* “Besides, I just dropped over $300 at your pharmacy a couple of days ago. I don’t think I need to spend any more right now.”

Dear readers, I can only ascribe what happens next to this being the end of a very crazy twelve-hour shift. I want to say, “Let’s give your pocketbook a break.” For some reason, my brain decides to change the word “break” to “rest” halfway through the word. So, what actually comes out of my mouth is:

Me: “Oh, yeah, let’s give your pocketbook a breast.”

Exhaustion is a powerful drug, guys.

That’s Going To Be A Big Dirty NEIGH To That Return
Australia, Hobart, Pharmacy, Refund, Revolting, Tasmania | Right | July 26, 2021
A customer comes in with a small digital thermometer, the kind that generally goes under the armpit or in your mouth. As such, they’re designed to be resistant to fluids, although they’re not entirely waterproof because, hey, they are cheap.

Customer: “I bought this a few days ago and took a couple of readings, and now it’s stopped working. I think maybe it’s the battery. Can I have a refund or an exchange?”

Coworker: “Let’s have a look and see if we can change the battery first.”

My coworker opens the battery case of the thermometer and finds it rather brown inside. As she’s new and unsure of what to do, she asks my opinion.

I take note of the brown and then notice that the outside of the thermometer is damp.

Me: “It looks wet. Could it be water damage?”

My coworker tilts the thermometer to try to see the battery better, and suddenly, about two teaspoons of very brown, very murky water run out of the battery compartment and onto our bench.

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s not water damage. I mean, I did wash it, but it was broken before that. I used it on my horse because he’s sick and I didn’t think you’d want to handle it unless I washed it first.”

Yep. We now had horse poo water on our bench and on my coworker’s hands. From the condition of the battery compartment, I strongly suspect that this may not have been the first time the customer had washed the thermometer.

Despite my misgivings, my manager gave the customer the exchange anyway. My coworker disposed of the used thermometer and scrubbed the bench and her hands very thoroughly.

Ah, the joys of working retail.

Lay Off The Scooby Snacks!
Liars/Scammers, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Working | July 22, 2021
I had a lady pick up [painkiller] for a dog. It was a pretty early refill and I was bored, so I went to our manager, and it turns out the dog had been filling this prescription all over town.

I just thought I’d try and broaden the search, so I just did the owner’s name and date of birth and found multiple other dog names all filling [painkiller]. I called the office and it turns out the vet this dog owner was using had just stepped down to be with her family and was not practicing. The owner used to work there but had been fired for calling in fake scripts. The office said they would take care of the issue.

The part that still makes me laugh about this whole sad situation was that the first dog’s name was Scrappy, and one of my techs chimed in, “I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”

Sometimes You Have To Go Off-Script
Australia, Current Events, Health & Body, Patients, Pharmacy, Retail | Healthy | July 20, 2021
I work in a pharmacy, so you can imagine that we get more than our fair share of sick, coughing people. Unfortunately, that also means that we get more than our fair share of people who insist they cannot wear a mask. While corporate has refused to allow us to use curbside service, my management HAS been very good at backing us up and insisting we can refuse service to people that don’t comply.

Customer: “Hi, I just need this script filled.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, can you please put on your mask?”

Customer: “No, I have a medical exemption.”

Me: “I’m afraid that I am going to have to insist.”

Customer: “I cannot wear a mask.”

Me: “Ma’am, we will refuse service to anyone who isn’t wearing a mask. Many of our customers are high-risk.”

At this, she lifts her script to press it flat against the plastic of the barrier between us.

Customer: “The sooner you give me these, the sooner I can leave and start taking them so that I can wear a mask. But I need this script first.”

I am about to keep arguing, but then I realise what the medication on the script is. It’s a strong prescription painkiller, used for nerve disease and shingles and its complications.

I then look at the woman’s face again, and I realise the redness on her cheeks and jaw are not embarrassment or just a ruddy complexion but inflammation.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll… get right on that.”

Could she have been clearer? Given the particular painkiller, probably not.

They Have A Membership Card To The Entitlement Club
At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Current Events, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Right | July 17, 2021
It is late, my husband and I are picking up some prescriptions at the only twenty-four-hour pharmacy in our area, and we decide to get some much-needed OTC meds for the household. As it’s so late, there is only one cashier. We stand the appropriate six feet back, both in masks per state ordinance. There is a gentleman ahead of us at the register who is taking an exceptionally long time because his total is “unsatisfactory ”. I should note he is NOT wearing a mask and is getting uncomfortably close to the cashier.

Customer: “Okay, go through the items again and tell me every price.”

Cashier: “All right.”

The cashier begins reading the list, for what is probably about the third time.

Customer: “No! No! Your signs say those things are cheaper!”

Cashier: “Like I told you before, sir, those prices are with our store card, which I can sign you up for. It’s free.”

Customer: “Absolutely not! Go through it again and give me the correct price!”

At this point, he is leaning over the register and is basically inches from her face. Since the cigarette shelves are right behind her, she cannot step that far back. Finally, I walk forward with my store card.

Me: “Here, scan mine. I have kids at home and want to get out of here.”

Cashier: *Obviously relieved* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Hold on, I need to grab a few more things, then!”

We all groan, but whatever will hurry him up. He comes back, adds about ten more things to be scanned, and then steps back. The cashier stares at him, as do my husband and I. After a few minutes, he snaps his fingers and glares at me.

Customer: “Well?! What are you waiting for!”

Me: “Huh?”

Cashier: “Sir?”

Customer: “She scanned her card. Hurry and finish this so I can leave!”

Cashier: “Sir, it’s totalled out. Now you just have to pay. Did you need something else price- checked, or…?”

Customer: “But she scanned her card!”

Me: “And…?”

Customer: “Then scan it again or something, but hurry up!”

Me: “I’m not sure I follow.”

Customer: “Hurry and pay so I can leave; you scanned your card already once!”

I suddenly realize he thinks I offered to pay for his items.

Me: “Dude, I just scanned the discount card. I’m not paying for your stuff!”

Customer: “Well, why else would I get the rest of the stuff I needed?! Oh, my God, f*** this! F****** poor people!”

He shoved his items over the counter at the cashier and stormed out. We all just stood there in shock. Not only did he think I was offering to pay, but he actually added MORE stuff. I guess late nights always bring out the weirdest people.

You Need To Be A Customer To Get Customer Service
Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | June 29, 2021
The night has wound down to the end of our business day half an hour after we lock the doors. The other employees and I are doing our last-minute tasks. I’m vacuuming the carpet in front of the door, and I hear the door rattle loudly and look up in surprise. There is a woman outside, gesturing at me.

I turn off the vacuum cleaner so we can talk. She sounds like she can’t believe she has to say this out loud.

Customer: “Um, hello! Hi there! Your door is locked.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I know. We closed at 10:00 pm.”

She gets a surprised look on her face. I give her my best apologetic look and point to our hours, which are posted on the door. She looks down as if the sign magically appeared. I can actually watch her face transition from confused to a growing rage.

Customer: “I can’t believe it! This is horrible customer service!”

She actually flips the bird at me. My niceness is gone now that she has crossed the line.

Me: “Customer service stops at closing, lady.”

She made an inarticulate screeching noise and stormed off. My coworker and the closing manager thought my last line was hysterical, so I didn’t get in trouble.

Anchors Aweigh… And Aweigh, And Aweigh…
Dentist, Florida, Health & Body, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Military, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | June 26, 2021
I was a new sailor, getting ready to report to my first ship. My wife and I had driven all the way across the country to the base where my ship was home-ported, so we were totally unfamiliar with the area. We got a hotel room while we looked for apartments, but the next day I got really sick. Two of my teeth on my upper jaw hurt so much I couldn’t sleep, so we grabbed my medical and dental records — this was a long time ago, when sailors hand-carried their records between assignments — and managed to find our way to the local Navy hospital. I checked into the dental office, and they got me in very quickly because I was obviously in a lot of pain.

The dentist, a Navy Lieutenant, poked and prodded a bit, had an x-ray taken, and then told me there was nothing wrong with my teeth. She said I probably had a raging sinus infection and had one of the nurses take me to the emergency room on the ground floor.

An hour or so later, I was diagnosed with a sinus infection, given a paper prescription, and sent to the on-site pharmacy. I grabbed a number and waited, still dazed by the constant pain in my face from the infection. My wife had to tell me when they called my number, and she escorted me to the pharmacy window. The pharmacy tech rattled off a bunch of stuff about the medicines I wasn’t coherent enough to follow, but I did make out that I needed to start taking them right away.

Fine. No problem. We sat back down and I read the labels. The largest bottle said I had to take four pills right away. I staggered to the water fountain in the lobby and swallowed one of everything, plus four of the pills from the big bottle. I walked back to where my wife was sitting, and she started putting the bottles of pills in her purse, giving each bottle a quick look to see if any needed to be refrigerated. Then, she paused and said, “Oh, f***!”

She dragged me up to the prescription drop-off window and hollered for help. An older man came to see what was wrong, and my wife showed him the large bottle and my ID card. The pharmacy tech turned white as a sheet and said, “Oh, f***!”, and then called for a gurney and a doctor.

The next couple of hours were a blur of activity I don’t remember much about, ending with me admitted overnight for observation. It seems the pharmacy tech who’d handed me my pills had also grabbed a bottle intended for another patient — the large bottle. I had taken a quadruple dose of a major blood-pressure medication and my blood pressure was dangerously low by the time the ER managed to get me hooked up to an EKG.

Even in military medicine, almost killing the patients is generally contraindicated. I recovered fine, but there was a major investigation at the hospital, and the pharmacy tech who handed me the wrong pills ended up demoted or transferred someplace unpleasant — perhaps both. The pharmacy at that hospital changed their standard operating procedures to require careful verification of the name on every label and to cross-check every prescription issued with the patient’s medical record.

That’s how the US Navy nearly got me killed before I set foot aboard my first ship.

You’ll Back Off One Way Or Another, Part 2
Current Events, England, Health & Body, Instant Karma, Jerk, Pharmacy, Revolting, Strangers, UK | Right | June 23, 2021
I’m not feeling great and I go to my local large pharmacy. I’m masked up and keeping my distance; unfortunately, this woman isn’t. She looks like she is wandering around aimlessly, but she keeps getting in front of me, indecisively picking up everything or right behind me, impatiently reaching across me.

As I said, I’m not feeling great, and the constant rudeness is getting more and more on my nerves. She ignores all my requests for distance and I eventually cuss her out, so she stays away.

Feeling no better, I get all my medicine, food, and drinks and stand in line to pay. It’s not long before the woman joins the line behind me, no surprise standing way too close.

Me: “You need to back off. Give me some space.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Move back and stay back.”

Customer: “Or what?”

I’m not proud of this, but as she spat out the sentence, the pain in my stomach doubled. Without much control, my gaseous medical calamity revealed itself, silently but oh, so noxiously.

The thing about a man in his thirties who has a protein-rich diet with a particular interest in real ale is that this would be a particularly bad event on its own, even if I wasn’t also feeling so unwell.

The woman being so close felt its full force and coughed herself away and out of the shop.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t bear to look the cashier in the eye and had to leave my purchases. Luckily, I managed to get most of what I needed from another store.

I thankfully got better very quickly. As embarrassing as it was, I couldn’t lie, it was a really effective way to deal with these idiots.

Related:
You’ll Back Off One Way Or Another

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 46
Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Stupid, USA | Right | June 21, 2021
We close at 8:00 pm on weekdays. On this particular day, we aren’t completely finished cleaning, so we close our gate and keep cleaning. A man comes up to our closed gate.

Customer: “Hello!” *Knocks on the gate* “Hello, I need help!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we have just closed, but the front store is still open. They can help you.”

Customer: “No, they aren’t a pharmacist. I need a pharmacist.”

Me: “You can come back tomorrow morning; we closed at eight.”

Customer: “But you are still here. Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Sir, first of all, my gate is closed so I can’t even see you, just as you can’t see me. Second of all, I’m off the clock. You can come back tomorrow when we open at nine.”

The guy walks off in a huff and I hear another customer, probably a friend of his:

Customer’s Friend: “Why are they closed?”

Customer: “I don’t know, ugh!”

You’ve Got To Be Kidneying Me
Dentist, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medication, Nurses, Stupid, USA | Healthy | March 3, 2022
I donated a kidney a while back. For the most part, this isn’t much of a problem; the only side effect of the donation, other than not being allowed to do some obscure medical test with radioactive dyes that I’ll likely never need, is that I should avoid NSAIDs like aspirin.

A few years back, I went to a new dentist due to dental pain and they told me I would need a tooth removed. They didn’t have me fill out anything about my medical history before I went in for the dental surgery, so I made sure to briefly mention that I’d donated a kidney to my dentist just so he was aware of it.

After the surgery was over, I was sent to talk to a nurse about post-care and given a prescription for pain relief. I didn’t recognize the medication name, but to be safe:

Me: *To the nurse* “I’ve donated a kidney, so I cannot take NSAIDs. Is this prescription safe for me?”

Nurse: “Yes, it is.”

However, while I was going to pick up my medication, I read through the paperwork they handed me. There was a note saying that it wasn’t safe to take a certain medication if you had kidney problems. The medication mentioned on the paperwork was different than the one I was prescribed, but just the fact that the paperwork called out potential risk concerned me. I figured I should be safe since I’d made sure everyone knew the risk and had been assured it was fine, but I was uncertain enough that I decided to double-check.

Lo and behold, even a quick Google search was enough to learn that the medication I was prescribed was listed as a generic version of the medication the paperwork said I shouldn’t take, and a quick check on [Health Website] explicitly said that this medication was not safe if you had kidney problems.

I called the dentist back explaining the problem, but they never returned my call, leaving me to suffer through the pain with nothing more than Tylenol. I opted not to go back to that dentist for the follow-up surgery to get a replacement tooth installed; I have a general rule of never allowing medical organizations more than one attempt at destroying any of my organs.

About a year and a half later, I got a letter from the dentist saying they were going out of business and I should contact them now if I needed to get any of my medical records. I can’t say I considered their being out of business much of a loss.

Jumping Into This Relationship With Both Feet… Sort Of
Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Farm, Funny, Health & Body, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 28, 2022
I grew up on a farm. In a freak accident when I was about thirteen, I ended up losing most of my left foot. By the time I reach twenty-five, I have gotten used to the amputation; I could still walk, even though I had a slight limp, and with shoes or boots on, it’s impossible for other people to see that half of my foot is missing. That said, I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about it, so I don’t take my shoes off around other people or tell the story very often.

Sometime around my twenty-fifth birthday, I meet a woman and we start dating. A few weeks later, I take her home to meet my family, and while helping out with the farm chores, another freak accident happens and the tip of my right middle finger gets cut off. My family and my girlfriend take me to the hospital, and when we get home, she admits that she was panicking.

Girlfriend: “Oh, my God, that was crazy. I know farming can be dangerous, but I’ve never actually seen anything like that. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll be okay. It hurts, but the meds help.”

Girlfriend: “How can you be so calm about this? I’m completely freaked out and I’m not even the one who lost a finger.”

Me: *Joking* “Well, I’ve done worse, so a finger isn’t too bad.”

Brother: “Yeah, [My Name] is getting kind of used to things going missing by now.”

Girlfriend: “What do you mean?”

Brother: “His foot, and now his finger.”

Girlfriend: “Your foot? What does that mean?”

Brother: “You never told her about your foot, [My Name]?”

Me: “You’ve seen me barefoot, haven’t you?”

Girlfriend: “Apparently not? I mean, I know you limp, but I always thought that was just how you walk.”

Me: “All right, then. Do you want me to tell you the story first and then show you my foot, or show you my foot first and then tell the story?”

She decided to hear the story first, so I told her and then showed her my feet. She ended up taking the whole thing really well, and we’re still together a year later, so I think she’s the one.

We’re So Exhausted On Your Behalf
Bad Behavior, Current Events, Health & Body, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Security | Healthy | February 25, 2022
The lack of support from security at my hospital is insane. We have limited visitation due to rising health crisis cases.

Once, a whole family showed up when a patient was really only allowed one person. On top of it, they refused to follow the masking rules. How they got by screening, I’ll never know. Even if they wore masks downstairs, there’s no way a whole group should’ve been let up.

And when staff confronted them on the floor, they threatened to get violent with the nurses. When security finally showed up, they talked to the family for maybe ten minutes and didn’t even escort them out, saying, “They promised to leave in five minutes.” What a joke.

My favorite is [health crisis]-positive patients refusing to stay in their rooms and threatening to walk the halls to give everyone their illness, coughing in your face if you argue with them.

Then, there was an old man refusing to pull up his mask when asked, saying, “Honey, I would if I could,” rolling his eyes, and walking away. Surely, it’s more uncomfortable and inconvenient to wear it improperly?

I have more stories than I could possibly recount.

Make Things Easier On Yourselves, Folks!
Australia, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, New South Wales, Patients, Stupid | Healthy | February 25, 2022
I work in a pathology collection centre where we collect blood and other delightful bodily fluids and emissions. Sometimes the doctor requests that a patient fast in preparation for their blood test for a variety of reasons, and company procedure has certain requirements for the patient to be “correctly” fasting. For example, the patient must fast for more than X hours but not more than X hours, and they can only have water and nothing else. As always, I don’t make the rules; I only enforce them.

This elderly patient presents late in the afternoon with his referral from his general practitioner, and he wants to have the blood test collected. I inquire about whether he had fasted and he hasn’t, so I explain to him that he has to fast, for how long, the consequences of not doing it “correctly”, etc. He isn’t happy but seems to accept that it has to be that way as that’s what the doctor wants.

He seems to have a little trouble understanding me, so I explain it to him a few times, write it down in bullet-point format, and give him the little handouts we have with slightly more detailed patient instructions, as well. He leaves, and I’m satisfied that he understands as I’ve explained it about five times. All in all, I’ve worked with him for about fifteen to twenty minutes.

The patient comes in the next morning around mid-morning and I ask him what time he last had anything to eat or drink other than water. The answer he gives me means that he has exceeded the maximum fasting time.

Me: “You’ve gone too long now and your results could be affected. Are you sure you want to go ahead? I wrote this all down for you. Didn’t you look at what I wrote?”

Patient #1 : “No, I didn’t bother. Just do it.”

Me: *Facepalm*

In addition to this exchange, we often have this conversation with our fasting patients.

Me: “What time last night did you have something to eat or drink other than water?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, yes, last night.”

Me: “What time?”

Patient #2 : “Dinner time.”

Me: “What time was dinner?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, around six.”

Me: “Do you think you could give me the time to the closest half hour?”

The patient rolls their eyes, exasperated.

Patient #2 : “No, I didn’t look at the clock! Just make it six o’clock!”

Me: “You haven’t had anything since then?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, I had dessert at about ten o’clock.”

Or:

Patient #2 : “I just had a cup of tea/coffee this morning.”

Another fun one:

Patient #3 : “I’m usually difficult to get blood from.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Have you had much water today?”

Patient #3 : “No, I don’t drink water.”

I have to admit though, my favourite response to the last one was, “No, I don’t drink water because fish f*** in it!”

Stick a fork in me, folks, because I am so done.

At Least SOMEONE Is Looking Out For This Dog
Bigotry, Cincinnati, Jerk, Ohio, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | February 22, 2022
I am a veterinarian. On the day before Thanksgiving, I have an owner bring their older dog in for a mass on her foot that grew very quickly over the past few days and seemed very irritating as the dog was licking at it. Off the bat, this makes me think of something like a local infection and/or trauma. I recommend taking a small sample of it with a needle to view under a microscope, either in-clinic or by sending it out to a lab, for more information. It starts to go downhill here, as the owner informs me that he is a human physician, and he appears to have some opinions on what should be done instead. I don’t think it helps that I am a young recently graduated female veterinarian, and this owner is an older male physician.

Me: “Taking this sample can tell us whether there is an infection or if there is truly something more concerning like a growth or cancer.”

Owner: “I don’t think I want to do all that. She is an older dog, and I just want it removed, whatever it is.”

Me: “While that is a fair goal, surgery may not be the best solution to this. Even if it is cancer, that area can be hard to remove large masses from because there is so little tissue on the limbs.”

He starts to go into medical jargon about healing, and we go back and forth a few times. I support different owners with their goals and their right to make decisions for their pets so long as they are informed, but I don’t think jumping to surgical removal of this mass is in the dog’s best interest. He eventually concedes to us taking a sample, which I do, and I get a pus-like material that makes me even more suspicious of infection. When I go to explain this:

Owner: “Well, if it is an abscess, you can just take her in the back and drain it with a scalpel blade!”

This is also something I would not want to do immediately, especially in animals who do not sit still like humans and without appropriate pain control. Since our in-clinic materials for evaluating the sample were not working, I told him that I would send the sample out to a lab and that we would hear back with results in about three to five business days, possibly longer with a holiday tomorrow.

I sent the dog home with anti-inflammatories for comfort and a cone to keep her from traumatizing the area in the meantime. The owner was so fixated on having the mass “just removed” that on the way out, he scheduled a surgery for two weeks from then. The whole appointment left me exhausted, but the icing on the cake really came over the next two weeks.

I got the results back about three business days later — six calendar days — and called the only number we had on file for this owner. No one answered, so I left a message explaining that the results were consistent with an infection, that no cancer was seen, and that I was sending them an electronic prescription for an antibiotic. I also told them to call back and let us know how [Patient] was doing.

We heard nothing back about this dog until the next week when the owners got an automatic reminder for surgery drop-off the next day. The owner’s WIFE called us, upset, and asked why her dog had a surgery scheduled. When we reviewed the appointment and explained that it had been scheduled by her husband, the wife got irritated and told us to cancel it, because — shocker — the antibiotic got rid of the mass. She also snipped about how it took a week to get the results back.

In summary, he told me how to do my job (incorrectly), didn’t communicate to his spouse about the dog, didn’t update us about how the dog was doing or respond to a phone call, and complained about getting results back within the estimated timeframe during a holiday week. Well, at least the dog is better.

The Human Body Is A Shocking Wonder
Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, School, Students, USA | Healthy | February 19, 2022
WARNING: INJURY

This happened many moons ago, when I was in seventh grade.

The bell rings signifying the end of lunch. In my haste to get back to my classroom, I end up trying to jump over a bench instead of going around it, falling sideways, and having all of my ninety-six pounds land directly on my left wrist. I pop up and head for class, making it in with about one second to spare before I’d be marked late. I happen to be sitting in the front row.

The teacher spends the next minute writing things on the blackboard, and we all start taking notes. When he turns around, he sees me.

Teacher: “[My Name], leave immediately and go see the nurse.”

Me: “Why? I’m fine.”

Teacher: “Do it right now.”

Me: “If you say so.”

I put my stuff back in my backpack, mutter something under my breath, and reluctantly head for the nurse’s office. Yeah, my left wrist is hurting a bit, but I just fell on it. It’s probably sprained or something. I take my watch off it and transfer it to my right wrist, figuring that’ll help.

When I arrive…

Nurse: “Sit down and don’t move. I’m calling your parents. They’ll take you to the hospital.”

Me: “What the h***? I don’t need a hospital!”

Nurse: “Yes, you do! Look at your wrist!”

I took a look. The bone was almost poking through the skin.

The doctor said the break looked like it had been cut with a laser. Thankfully, the

The Fluffiest Fraud
Australia, Fraud, Impossible Demands, Insurance, Liars/Scammers, Vet | Healthy | February 16, 2022
I work as a vet. Our computer system is set up so that we can submit our clients’ insurance claims for their visits directly to their insurer — just a few clicks to submit the notes and the invoice, minimal hassle for everyone. We don’t have any way of knowing whether or not the claim gets accepted or rejected unless the client lets us know.

Client: “The claim for Fluffy’s [condition] got rejected.”

Me: “Ah, that’s a bugger. We had discussed that it might not get through because it would probably be considered pre-existing, but at least we gave it a go and know for the future.”

Client: “Yeah, sure, but what did you write in the submission claim? Like, the wording?”

Me: “I just submitted my clinical record. There aren’t any notes we write in addition to that.”

Client: “But what did you say Fluffy had?”

Me: “[Condition]. Which is what he has.”

Client: “Do you think you could resubmit it but write that he has [similar condition, which has similar symptoms but is treated differently]?”

Me: “Uh, no.”

Client: “Why not? It’s easy; just change a couple of words and it’s all good. Then it might get approved.

Me: “[Client], I will explain this very clearly to you. The clinic system locks the records after a certain time frame because they are classed as legal documents. Any changes to said documents after the fact would be grounds for me to face disciplinary action from my professional regulator. And very simply, what you are asking me to do is commit insurance fraud.”

Client: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: “Uh, yes, definitely fraud.”

Client: “So, you can’t do anything to get around it?”

Me: “No. I like my job. I’m not risking my licence.”

Client: “So, there’s really nothing you can do about this, then.”

Me: “[Client], stop asking. The answer is no. If you still don’t like it, you’re welcome to see one of my colleagues, but they will tell you the same thing, and your insurer already has the info anyway.”

Client: “…”

He wasn’t a client of ours for much longer. I can’t say he’ll be missed. Good luck and apologies to the next clinic who ended up with him.

Thanks For The Double Dose Of Guilt
Employees, Jerk, Medication, Pharmacy, Sweden | Healthy | February 13, 2022
I take a very expensive medicine. Luckily, since I live in Sweden, I don’t even pay for one month’s full use myself until I start getting it for free. The trick with this medicine is that it needs to be refrigerated, so I cannot order it home and I always need to plan my shopping when getting it since I cannot have it in my bag for too long.

I have just gotten new instructions from my doctor saying I can take out for two months instead of one, since she doesn’t think I should need to go to the pharmacy too often in the health crisis. Unluckily, the power goes that night, and I don’t know for how long, so I call medical services to find out what I should do with the medicine. Since there is a risk that it will be ruined, they tell me to take it back to the pharmacy to get new ones. Since I need a dose for that day, I go to do so, and I have to put other plans aside for the day in order to fix this.

Me: “Hi. I’m so sorry, but the power went and they said to exchange this in case it has gone bad.”

The pharmacist takes the medication and looks at it, then me, then to her computer, and then me again.

Pharmacist: “Do you know how expensive this is?”

Me: “Yes. As I said, the power went off, so the medicine might have been compromised.”

Pharmacist: “This is for two months!”

Me: “Yes, I know. I took it out yesterday — worst luck!”

She frowns and looks at her computer for a while.

Pharmacist: “Well, we don’t have any here, but you can find it at [Other Pharmacy].”

Me: “All right, should I just leave this here and go there, then?”

Pharmacist: “No, you need to bring this with you, or you can’t take out new medication again. Also, next time, perhaps you should only take out for one month; that way you won’t ruin as much of it.”

I did as she said and went a few blocks over to another pharmacy, only to have almost exactly the same conversation. I did get to make the exchange this time. I was so embarrassed and felt guilty about the whole thing, yet it was not even my fault, so thinking back, I wonder why they needed to keep rubbing it in?

I Just Learned Something New
Bizarre, Health & Body, Idaho, Medical Office, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 10, 2022
My cat passes away, and in the stress of dealing with his illness, I do forget to wear a mask outside a couple of times. The following days after his death, I suddenly get very sick, and naturally, all I can think of is that I caught something when I forgot to wear a mask. I have almost entirely lost my voice. So, I decide to get tested.

The nurse looks down my throat.

Nurse: “Yeah, you look a bit torn up in there from coughing. Let’s get the tests started.”

She swabs for a couple of different things, and while we are waiting for the results, she says:

Nurse: “Also, your tonsils looked kind of inflamed and oddly shaped…”

Me: *Croaking* “My what?!”

Nurse: “Tonsils, in the back of your throat?”

Me: *Coughing* “I had a tonsillectomy seven years ago!”

Nurse: *Pauses* “That would explain the odd shape they’re in. Well, you’re negative for [contagious illness], strep, and flu, so it’s probably tonsillitis.”

It turns out that, much like if you have part of your liver cut off, your tonsils can grow back, too. I’m the first person I know to

Making Your Eyes As Big As Dishes
Health & Body, Optometrist/Optician, Patients, Stupid, Sweden | Healthy | February 7, 2022
I finally graduated as a licensed optician this year, and seeing as I have a love for storytelling, of course, I take every chance I get to ask my new coworkers about the weirdest or dumbest customers/patients they’ve encountered. So far, this story I heard from one of the sales assistants absolutely takes the cake, although I do have a close runner-up, as well.

A woman comes in, complaining over something regarding her contact lenses. My coworker asks some general troubleshooting questions: how often do you change your contacts, do you sleep with them, are you cleaning them properly? That last question is where it all goes south.

Patient: “Of course, I clean them, but that cleaner you sold me doesn’t work very well, so I just use dish soap, instead.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “You use what now?”

Patient: “Yeah, dish soap and water. See, the cleaner doesn’t get the contacts clear enough; I still see all blurry when I put them back in. The dish soap makes them much cleaner.”

Coworker: *Absolutely dumbfounded* “You can’t… do that. Your eyes could get really badly damaged from that. Please don’t. You need to use the cleaner that your optician recommended for you.”

Patient: “Well, I still think the dish soap works better.”

Lady, how have you, for your entire life, missed the glaring labels on every single dish soap ever telling you NOT to let it come in contact with your eyes?

Congratulations On The (Frustrating, Long-Awaited) All-Clear!
Doctor/Physician, Insurance, Money, Non-Dialogue, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, Stupid, USA | Healthy | February 4, 2022
Some years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through all the treatment, surgeries, chemo, you name it. A couple of years later, at the three-month follow-up, my oncologist, upon consultation, didn’t like that he could feel some lumps under my arm, so he put in a request for a PET scan.

A PET scan is an imaging test where you are given a slightly radioactive glucose IV shot, wait an hour, and then go through a machine. Cancer being sugar-avid, if there is any tumor, it will light up on the screen.

My insurance denied the request because I didn’t have a CT scan done that would warrant the need for a PET scan; PET scans are more expensive than CT scans.

The oncologist then put in a request for a CT scan.

The insurance denied it because I didn’t have an MRI scan done that would warrant the need for a CT scan, CT scans being more expensive than MRI scans.

Then, my oncologist put in a request for an MRI scan.

The insurance promptly denied that because I didn’t have an XRay done that would warrant the need for an MRI scan.

And this is how I ended up having an XRay, an MRI scan, a CT scan, and a PET scan because insurance wanted to save the money for the PET scan. I got subjected to way more radiation than necessary for them to pay five times the cost they wanted to save.

It was negative. Years later, I am still cancer-free.

Don’t Sprain Yourself Trying To Be Helpful
Florida, High School, Jerk, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 1, 2022
I am about fifteen and in high school, and cell phones aren’t really a thing yet. Yesterday, I sprained my ankle. It’s very painful and swollen, but an x-ray shows no breaks. I have a chemistry test, but it’s second period, so I figure I can limp around until then. My mom tells me to go to the office when I finish the test and call her, and she’ll come get me. She says she’ll call if she doesn’t hear from me by a certain time. I finish my test, which takes longer than I thought, and my teacher dismisses me to the office. I hobble in. The nurse is at the front desk.

Nurse: “Did you hurt yourself?”

Me: “I sprained my ankle yesterday. I came in to take my chem test, but I need to go home. It really hurts. Can I call my mom?”

Nurse: “Oh, a Tylenol will fix you right up. I’ve got some in my office. What’s your name?”

Me: “[My Full Name]. My mom said I could call her after the test and she’d come get me.”

Nurse: “No, no. All you need is Tylenol. Can’t have you missing class.”

Me: “Look, it’s really swollen and it hurts and—”

Nurse: “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re not going to skip.”

Me: “What?! I’m not skipping! It really hurts! I need to ice it!”

The phone rings.

Nurse: “Don’t even think about leaving. Sit down.”

I sit and pop my foot up on a chair. The nurse answers the phone.

Nurse: “[School].” *Pauses* “You need to pick your daughter up early?” *Pauses* “Sure, what’s your name?” *Pauses* “And her name?” *Pauses* “Oh.”

She glares daggers at me.

Nurse: “She’s in the office now.” *Pauses* “Due to the number of students skipping, we had to be sure before we called.” *Pauses* “Yes, she says she’s in pain.” *Pauses* “Yes, she says it’s swollen.” *Pauses* “Uh-huh.” *Pauses* “Okay.” *Pauses* “You’ll need to come in with ID.” *Pauses* “Thank you.”

She hangs up.

Nurse: “Don’t move. Your mom is on her way.”

Less than ten minutes later, my mom comes running in. My ankle has ballooned up at this point. There are now other office staff around. She waves her ID at the nurse and signs me out. Then, she helps me out of the chair and I hang on to her for balance.

Mom: *Loudly* “Don’t accuse a kid of trying to skip when she’s very clearly hurting. All you had to do was look at her foot to see she wasn’t faking.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry—”

Mom: “Nope. We are leaving.”

She took me home, where I iced and elevated my foot for the rest of the day. I didn’t see that nurse again!

I Hereby Diagnose Your Cat With Cat
Bizarre, Doctor/Physician, Massachusetts, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 29, 2022
A number of years ago, my husband and I took our beloved cat to the vet for hot spots that had been causing her a great deal of grief. The vet advertised himself as holistic, which we saw as an advantage at the time.

Once we were in the examination room, he asked:

Vet: “Can one of you place one hand on [Cat]’s back while extending the other arm out straight?”

He then proceeded to hold up vials of unknown contents near our lovely cat’s body. With each one, he pushed on the outstretched arm, using his perceived resistance as an indicator of our poor cat’s sensitivity to its contents.

Sadly, my former husband wasn’t up to the task. He excused himself and went outside to stand by our car. From my vantage point near the window, I could still see him, bent double, laughing until he cried, while I was trapped inside, forced to freeze my face while the vet tested vial after vial.

The result? A $375 bill and a diagnosis of “sensitivity to strange smells,” which, if I’m not mistaken, covers all cats, ever.