Don’t Go (Down) There

Extra Stupid, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 14, 2018


(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says:)

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask

The Pharmacy Version Of “I’m Looking For A Book That’s Red”

Australia, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy | Healthy Right | October 10, 2018


Customer: “I need to get a repeat on my medication. I’ve ran out of the script so can you give me an owning? I’ve been here many times.”

Me: “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Can you give me your name and the name of the medication you want owning?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I don’t know what the medication is called.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you know what the medication is for?”

Customer; “No. Just look up the medication I’m on.”

Me: “You’re on a few different medications.”

Customer: “It’s a little white tablet.”

Me: “All but one of the five medications you are on are white. Box or bottle?”

Customer: “No idea. Just give me an owing.”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but without know what the medication is for or what it is called, I cannot give you an owing. But would you know what it is if I showed you the packages it comes in?.”

(I quickly grab a few bottles and boxes of medications that the customer is on, hoping it jogs his memory.)

Customer: “Nope. I don’t know which one it is. Just give me an owing. It’s a little white pill! You’re suppose to know what I want!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, a few of your medications you are on are small white pills., I’m sorry but I want to make sure I am giving you the right medication. Are you sure you don’t know what the medication is called or what it is used for?”

Customer: “You’re no help. You’re suppose to know what I want!” *leaves the store*

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills

Awesome Customers, Connecticut, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 8, 2018


(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter:)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1 : “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1 : “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1 : “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1 : “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1 : “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2 : “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2 : “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)

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Wish You Could Take The Blue Pill And Forget

Ignoring & Inattentive, Iowa, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 8, 2018


(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a midwest grocery and pharmacy chain. I’m not exaggerating when I say I get far too many of these calls EVERY DAY.)

Me: *answers phone with usual friendly attitude* “This is [My Name] at [Pharmacy]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill on my prescriptions.”

Me: *pulls up profile after asking for name and birthdate* “Okay, which ones did you need refilled today?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know the names.” *describing various pills*

Me: *sighs and facepalms* “Right, let me get you on with the pharmacist.”

(Long story short, folks: you, as the customer, are personally responsible for knowing exactly what goes into your body and what prescriptions need to be refilled. WE DON’T HAVE ALL DRUGS MEMORIZED JUST BY HOW THEY APPEAR IN OUR HEADS!)

Unfiltered Story #1 22275

Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Unfiltered | October 2, 2018


Note: I’m a customer in a long line at [national pharmacy chain], they are obviously very busy for this time of night. I have a basket of stuff to purchase and pick up a prescription. I was a waiter for 3 years.
Technician: Just want to make sure you know your Rx discount card has expired.
Customer #1 (flipping out): What?! That’s ridiculous, how come no one told me? What do I need to do to renew?!
Technician: Just pay the $9 fee.
Customer #1 : Oh, OK. (walks away like nothing happened)
Customer #2 (dramatically): I came from another pharmacy that closes at 10 and I need to fill this nooooow!
Technician (calmly): We close at 10 too, and will not have time to fill this tonight.
Customer #2 (oblivious to the long line): But, Whyyyyy not?
Technician: Because we are very busy. The nearest 24-hour [pharmacy chain] is located at [address].
Customer #2 : *Walks away in a huff*
Customer #3 : Why isn’t my prescription ready?!
Technician (somehow still calm, despite this line of rude people): Because of *unintelligible*, but let me look… Ah, I’ve fixed it and your prescription will be ready in a few minutes.
Customer #3 : Oh, OK. (Steps away, but lingers nearby creepily).
Me: I need to pick up [prescription], but I can check-out up front since you’re so busy.
Technician (loudly enough for lingering customer #3 to overhear): Oh, I’ll check you out. I don’t mind at all. We all talk about how you and your wife are always nice when you come in.
Me: If you’re sure… You catch more flies with honey you know!
Technician: Of course, no problem.
Pharmacist: Hey Mr. [my name], how’s the wife?
See d-bags of the world, being a jerk for no reason doesn’t get you anywhere. Being nice to service workers is a win-win for everybody!

In The Sun But Not Very Bright

Canada, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Ontario, Patients, Pharmacy | Healthy | October 1, 2018


(I’m a pharmacist. I’m counselling a client on how to apply the rosacea cream his doctor has prescribed for him.)

Me: “…and remember, even if you use this regularly, the most important way to prevent rosacea flares is to stay out of the sun.”

Patient: “I’m in the sun all the time!”

Me: “May I suggest sunscreen?”

Patient: “Oh, no, I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t want to put chemicals on my face.”

(I looked at the box of expensive prescription face chemicals and died a little inside.)

Constants Of Life: Grumbling Customers And Taxes

At The Checkout, Ignoring & Inattentive, North Carolina, Pharmacy, USA | Right | September 27, 2018


(I’m a customer in this story, getting into line to check out my items. I’m directly behind an older gentleman reading through a tabloid. This exchange happens when he gets to the checkout counter.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how much this costs? I can’t read it.”

Cashier: “Yes, it is $4.99. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: *thinks for a few seconds* “Yes.”

Cashier: *scans tabloid* “Sir, that will be $5.35, would you like a bag?”

Customer: *hands cashier a $5, grabs the magazine*

Cashier: “Sir, I need $0.35 more.”

Customer: “What, why?”

Cashier: “The total is $5.35.”

Customer: *points to magazine, shouts* “YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR! NOT FIVE!”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s $4.99, plus tax. The tax makes it $5.35.”

Customer: “NO.”

Cashier: “Yes, sir, you need to pay the tax.”

Customer: “WHY?! YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR!“

Cashier: “It’s $4.99, plus the tax, so the total is $5.35.”

(This goes on for a minute, so I grab 35 cents from my pocket and hand it to the cashier. The cashier puts it into the till.)

Cashier: “It’s been paid for; you can leave now.”

Customer: *still shouting* “NO, YOU SAID FOUR! I am giving you this $5 and no more!”

Cashier: “Sir, the woman behind you paid the rest of it; you can take the magazine.”

(This surprisingly still goes on for another minute, as the customer either didn’t notice me paying for it or doesn’t believe the cashier.)

Cashier: *gives up* “Sir, please take the magazine and leave.”

Customer: *walks away, still grumbling*

Me: “You’re welcome, sir.”

(The customer ignored me and walked toward the door, still grumbling. I approached the counter, and the cashier and I shared a look that said, “Did that really happen?” As I paid for my items and turned to leave, the customer actually came back toward the counter, and I’m not sure what happened after that. That poor cashier. I hope the rest of his day went well.)

Taxing Faxing, Part 24

Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA, Virginia | Working | September 19, 2018


It’s the end of the day, and I need to fax a prescription into the pharmacy for a patient. I call the main phone and get transferred to the pharmacy line. After five minutes of loud, obnoxious music, I hang up and call again, choosing the regular line. I thought any person working there would know the fax.

The guy who answers sounds like Ted from Bill & Ted, and when I tell him I couldn’t get through to the pharmacy and ask for the fax, he immediately transfers me… to the pharmacy.

Another long wait.

I try the main number again, and Ted picks up again. I repeat my story, telling him not to put me through to the pharmacy, as no one is picking up. He hands me off to the manager standing there. I explain the situation again: I need the fax, waiting five minutes on hold, could I just get the info?

She says she’s going to run to the pharmacy and get it. Could I hang on a second? Sure! She transfers me to the pharmacy again. Really?

I call a third time and a very young woman answers. I explain my problem and she rattles off the fax number in a second. Should have taken a minute. Wish I’d called her first.

You Better Beer-lieve It!

Alabama, Awesome Workers, Criminal & Illegal, Pharmacy, USA | Legal | September 14, 2018


(I am 17, and a cashier at a big pharmacy store. I work at the front registers, while the pharmacy and pharmacy registers are in the back of the store, out of view. If people are purchasing items in the store and also picking up a prescription, then the pharmacy is allowed to ring up their purchases, as well, with the exception of alcohol. A man walks from the back of the store carrying two large cases of beer. I start to move away from the door and head to a register to ring him up; however, before I even make it two steps, I stop, as the guy is still walking straight towards me. Without thinking, I put out my hand and stop him; it seems to surprise him that a small girl would physically stop him, especially as he is more than twice my size. Instead of faltering or backing down, I stand firm.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to get you to go over to the register to check you out before I can allow you to leave with that.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry, little lady; I already paid for this in the pharmacy.”

Me: “Sir, if that is the case, then I do apologize, but I will need to look at your receipt just to verify. I hope you understand.”

Man: “Well, I don’t have my receipt; I told them they could keep it.”

(I’ve already broken one rule by physically touching the man, but I’m not going to break another by outright accusing him of theft.)

Me: “In that case, please let me walk back there with you so that we can clear this up with them. You see, it’s against store policy to ever ring up alcohol back at the pharmacy, so I really need to know who rang you up so that they can be dealt with appropriately. If you are still unwilling to do this, then I am going to have to ask you to either let me ring you up for a second time, or you can leave the beer here, but without actual proof of purchase I cannot allow you to leave the store with the beer.”

(The man just kind of looks at me for about twenty seconds and then glances over to my supervisor, who is still standing next to the door. However, she is in her 60s, and I’m sure this man could probably overpower both of us. Luckily, things end rather well. The man looks back at me and sits both cases of beer on the floor.)

Man: “All right, here you go. I’ll go ahead and leave now.”

(With that, the man actually just walks out of the store. After he is gone, my supervisor turns to me with the most shocked expression on her face, and I can feel my heart about to explode out of my chest.)

Me: “Oh, no. Did I actually just physically stop a man and then keep him from shoplifting?! I can’t believe that just happened.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, I’ve never seen something like that before, but please, next time, just let him walk out of the store. It’s not worth your life trying to stop someone from getting a couple of cases of beer. You never know if someone is crazy, or drunk, or just doesn’t care.”

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

Australia, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Jerk, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Friendly | September 4, 2018


One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal

Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018


(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing

Children, England, Overheard, Pharmacy, UK | Right | August 24, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time.”

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 31, 2018


(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon

At The Checkout, Coupon, Kentucky, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 24, 2018


(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)

Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”

Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”

Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*

The Couponator 6: The Coupon Awakens

Coupon, Florida, Jerk, Retail, USA | Right | May 24, 2018


(Just 30 minutes from closing time, a last customer comes into the store with a few items. They want to use a special store coupon that requires a person to spend a certain amount of money to earn the discount.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [Store]. Are you enrolled in our rewards program.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(I then begin to scan the customer’s items, and turn the monitor toward him to see the prices as they ring up. He stops me as I hit a pair a glasses.)

Customer: “Uh, that’s not the right price; those glasses are supposed to be 30% off.”

Me: “Okay, just give me one second to check that.”

(I leave the register to where the glasses are located, and find out he is correct. I then head back to the register without a word and adjust the price.)

Customer: “Oh! I also have this $30-off coupon that I got, but I didn’t realise it expired on the third.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.”

Customer: “Is their any way you can see if it will still accept it?”

(Scanning the coupon, I try to see if our system will still accept it, but it does not.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the system won’t take it anymore.”

Customer: “All right, I want to speak to a manager, then.”

(Agitated, I grab a nearby radio, and call for a manager to my department. I discover my radio has died, so I leave to the nearby jewelry counter to ask an associate to call a manager for me and head back to wait for my manager.)

Manager: “What’s going on here?”

(The customer proceeds to explain the current situation to him.)

Manager: “All right, just take ten dollars off the three items, anyway.”

(Frustrated, I manually adjust the prices of the items and my manager leaves.)

Me: “Okay. Your new total is $43.75.”

Customer: “Hmm, that’s still not right.”

(Manually adjusting the price automatically removes any sales prices on them. So I tinker even further on the prices. By this point, the system is denying my price changes.)

Me: “Your new total is $35.25.”

Customer: “Still not the right price.”

(Frustrated, I throw in a manual twenty dollar discount.)

Me: “Total… is $15.25.”

Customer: “That’s better, thank you.”

(He swiped his card. I bagged his items and handed him his receipt.)

The Couponator 5: Online Decline

Alberta, At The Checkout, Canada, Coupon, Retail | Right | April 21, 2018


(A woman comes up to my register to pay for her items.)

Me: “Hi, is that all for you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a $5 coupon on my phone; I just need to pull it up.”

Me: “Okay, great, no problem.”

(I see her struggle to load the page; after a few moments she shows me a blank screen.)

Customer: “It’s not loading, but it’s right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Since that’s just a blank page and there’s no barcode or sku number, there’s no way I can actually put the coupon into the system.”

Customer: “There has to be a way you can honour it! Can I speak to a manager?”

Me: “She’s not in right now; it’s just me. But even if she was, there’s no way our system will let us use the coupon since we can’t actually see it.”

(I spend a few more minutes trying to help her get the page to load. After a moment, I realize she’s connected to a Wi-Fi hotspot several blocks away.)

Me: “Do you have LTE?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Do you have mobile Internet on your smartphone? If you do, you’ll be able to connect to the Internet, as we don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “Okay, then, I’m sorry. It’s not possible for me to take your coupon today.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What good is a coupon if I can’t even use it?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Next time be sure to print the coupon, or take a screenshot next time you are connected to the Internet.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You should be able to honour it!”

Me: “It’s not our fault that you don’t have Internet, ma’am. I’m sorry that you feel inconvenienced.”

(I ring up her purchase.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *mumbles incoherently, snatches her bag, and storms off*

The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts

At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Department Store, Hawaii, Jerk, USA | Right | March 9, 2018


(I’ve worked part-time at this location of a nation-wide department store for several years, and by now I am the most senior employee in the women’s clothing department. I’m good at customer service, and a lot of our customers know and like me, which has its upsides and downsides. I am serving [Customer #1 ], a woman in her 60s who talks about all the trips she takes abroad, and the souvenirs she buys for hundreds to thousands of dollars, while she won’t buy anything from us that runs over $15. She is also incredibly picky about her purchases and the way they’re folded and bagged, and she refuses to ring up with anybody but me, since I’m the only one who “does it right.” Standing in line behind her is [Customer #2 ], a woman in her 40s for whom I once tracked down a $20-off coupon, who has also insisted I be the one to ring her up ever since. She has a habit of coming to me to check prices on everything she finds, walking right past the price scanner, and several times has asked me to wait in the middle of a transaction so she can grab more of a cheap item, even if the item is on the second floor and there are several people in line behind her. This is the first time I’ve had to deal with these two customers one after the other.)

Customer #1 : “Hi, my dear. How are you?” *she sets six clearance shirts on the register* “These should all be $9.99.”

(I smile even while dreading this transaction, because that’s the classic line customers give when they KNOW that stuff isn’t the price they think it “should” be. This customer acts like a sweet grandmother when kept happy, but turns instantly mean when she doesn’t get what she wants.)

Me: “Let’s see… Oh, it looks like these two that say $9.99 on the tag are okay, but these four that say, ‘75% off,’ are from the clearance rack next to it.”

Customer #1 : *suddenly scowls* “That’s it. Get me your manager. I’ve told them time and time again: I won’t put up with this here. This is ridiculous; nothing is ever in its proper place—”

Me: “I apologize for that; we just had our big sale yesterday, and unfortunately, we haven’t been able to finish putting back everything that was misplaced. Let me go ahead and adjust those for you.”

Customer #1 : *smiling again* “Oh, thank you, my dear. You’re always so kind.”

(She talks about her last expensive trip while I ring her up, changing all the clearance items that were already only $10 to $17 to $9.99.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, your total is $58. Do you have your coupons with you?”

Customer #1 : “Can I use a $20-off coupon?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I wait for her to hand me the coupon.)

Customer #1 : “Don’t you have one with you?”

(We usually don’t, as those are mailed directly to the customer, but I check around the register, anyway.)

Me: “I’m afraid not. I have an extra 20%-off I can use, though.”

Customer #1 : *gesturing to the customer being rung up at the register behind me* “Well, does she have one?”

(I pause for a moment, but manage to keep my smile up as I politely ask two other customers waiting in line if they have a coupon I can scan. No one does, and [Customer 1#] decides to put her things on hold until she can get a $20-off coupon. [Customer #2 ] comes up to the register, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.)

Customer #2 : “I’ve done her nails before. She’s always like that. So, do you have a $20-off coupon?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I just looked for one a minute ago.”

(I start ringing up her items.)

Customer #2 : “Wait. All these pants should be $4.99!”

Me: “…”

(I look down at her pants, one of which has a $4.99 tag, while all the rest have 75%-off tags.)

Me: “You know what? I’ll just adjust those for you.”

(I finish ringing her up, and after she leaves, I turn to one of my managers who came to stand by me a few minutes ago, still smiling brightly.)

Me: “Shoot me.”

Manager: “What? Why? They’re both really nice women…”

Me: “…”

Manager: “…most of the time.”

([Customer #1 ] comes running back to the register, waving a coupon above her head.)

Customer #1 : “I got a $20-off one!”

The Couponator 3: Rise Of The Coupons

Bad Behavior, Canada, Coupon, Crazy Requests, Jerk, Ontario, Restaurant | Right | October 24, 2017


(I am working at the cash register during our supper hour when we get a lot of customers coming through. Note that very recently, we have released coupons to arrive in the mail for every household, as well as printable versions. Customers are allowed to use more than one coupon at a time.)

Me: “Hi, I can help you over here.”

Customer: “I have multiple coupons today.” *pulls out her purse and proceeds to pull out five printed coupons*

(These coupons are “Buy one, get one free.” So, with a sandwich and a medium fry, one can get a second sandwich for free. She starts giving me her order, consisting of four burgers, four orders of nuggets, two chicken burgers, one large wrap, two small wraps, and five orders of fries.)

Me: “So that’ll be $51.95. Is this for here or to go?”

Customer: “That’ll be to go, dear.” *sits down and waits for her order*

(A coworker helps me deal with the rest of the customers in line. While they come and go, the first customer patiently waits for a while, staring at her remaining coupons, before coming back up to the counter. She calls me over to help her.)

Customer: “I would like to remake my order, using these coupons instead.” *she presents five printed coupons for a “two can dine for $10.49” deal*

Me: “Um… Let me ask a manager to see if they can help out.”

(I find the closest manager and explain the situation, and my manager refunds the order and hands her back her money. She then proceeds to put in the same order, using the new coupons. These coupons come with two sandwiches, two medium fries, and two medium drinks per coupon, so her order now also includes ten orders of fries and ten drinks. When asked if this is all right with the customer, she responds that it was fine.)

Manager: “So, after putting in the new coupons, your total is now $70.08.”

Customer: “But each coupon is $10; that can’t be right.”

Manager: “It’s $10 per coupon, but this is also with your drinks and extra fries, plus your wraps.”

Customer: *slams down her refund money from earlier* “Well, this is unacceptable! I want my order done the way it was before!”

(My manager had to redo the order once again, leaving my coworker to deal with the rest of the crowded lobby. Our line-up didn’t get any smaller as long as she was there, who kept us busy for about 20 minutes to make sure her order was done correctly.)

On A Check Trek

British Columbia, Canada, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pharmacy | Working | July 16, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescriptions, when the pharmacy technician gestures to the bag of syringes that come with.)

Pharmacy Technician: “Are you wanting these, too?”

Me: “They are part of the order, so yes, please.”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check on the price.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits for her to go, she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check the price?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *goes to check price and comes back holding the bag* “$1.49!”

Me: “For all of them?”

Pharmacy Technician: “No, only for one.”

Me: “What’s the price on them all?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *grabs calculator* “$17.88.”

Me: “Total price?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Excluding taxes.”

Me: *really don’t want to ask this* “What is the total, please?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: *wanting to cry, bang head, scream* “Of course you do.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: *thinks* “NO, I WANT YOU TO DANCE FOR ME! ENTERTAIN ME! ON YOUR HEAD!” *saying* “Yes, please.”

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right

Bad Behavior, Columbus, Extra Stupid, Ohio, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 14, 2018


(I work in the pharmacy of a regional grocery chain. We require the person picking up a prescription order to give us the patient’s name and date of birth; if they don’t give us the date of birth, we cannot release the prescription order to them. I am doing my scheduled counter rotation when a baby boomer who looks like a redneck Santa approaches. He is talking away on his cell phone.)

Me: “Hi there. Picking up?”

Customer: *pulls his phone away from his face* “Yeah I’m picking up for my mother-in-law. Wife’s after me to get this stuff.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s her name?”

Customer: “Her name is [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “And her date of birth?”

Customer: *scoffs* “I don’t know. She’s my mother-in-law. I don’t pay attention to that s***.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our system requires we enter the patient’s date of birth to help prevent prescription theft.”

(The customer quite literally turns very red. I steel myself for an angry tirade.)

Customer: “This is bulls***. Simple mother-f*****…” *storms off, ranting and raving to his wife*

Boss: “[My Name]… what was that all about?”

Me: “He didn’t react very well to me telling him I needed his mother-in-law’s birthdate to release her meds to him.”

Boss: “He was on the phone with his wife, wasn’t he?”

Me: “Yep. Don’t know why he didn’t just ask her.”

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!

Illinois, Instant Karma, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I go to the pharmacy department of a larger than normal location of a major retailer. It’s about 2:25 pm, and the gates to the pharmacy counter are down with a sign apologizing for being closed for lunch. There are about four people ahead of me in line. Though I am in a hurry, I decide to stay since the sign states that they will reopen in five minutes. Four minutes later, the gates reopen, and the pharmacist is at the counter alone, since her support staff hasn’t returned yet. She greets the first man in line.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for waiting. How may I help you, sir?”

Man: “I’m here to pick up my prescription, under [Man].”

(The pharmacist verifies personal information with the man.)

Man: *as the pharmacist is ringing up the order* “I had to wait ten minutes for you guys to open! It’s just ridiculous that—”

Pharmacist: *cutting the man off, in a tone that is both mockingly concerned, and professional* “Yes, sir, it is ridiculous that I have to work a ten-hour shift, and am only allowed twenty minutes to sit down and eat in the back of this store. I’m so sorry that you had to wait that short amount of time. Your total is [amount].”

(The man said nothing further, refused to make eye contact with anyone, paid, and left. By then, her staff had returned, and the pharmacist went to the back of the work area, immediately answering the phone. The staff made short work of the rest of the people in line, who all were friendly to the workers. I was out the door before 2:40 pm.)

How To Treat Dog-Breath

Canada, Extra Stupid, Ontario, Pharmacy, Strangers, Toronto | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I am a veterinary technician and sometimes I leave work still wearing scrubs.)

Cashier: “So, you work at the dental office in this plaza, right?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a veterinary technician. I work at the vet clinic over there.” *gesturing*

Other Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “I’m a nurse for animals.”

Other Customer: “Oh. There’s this mouth-wash I’ve been meaning to try. The stuff from [Human Brand]. Can you tell me if it’s any good?”

Me: “Um… I’m a veterinary technician. I nurse animals.”

Other Customer: “It’s all the same. So, can you tell me if the mouthwash is any good?”

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs

Dallas, Ignoring & Inattentive, Patients, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Healthy | July 5, 2018


(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)

They Must Get Lost Driving To The AMC

Extra Stupid, New Jersey, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 3, 2018


(My aunt works at the pharmacy in a CVS, and often comes home with hilarious stories about customers or doctor offices. This one in particular I find incredibly stupid.)

Aunt: “Hello, this is [Aunt] from CVS. I need to order a refill for [Medication] for [Patient].”

Doctor’s Office: “Where are you calling from?”

Aunt: “CVS.”

Doctor’s Office: “Can you spell that?”

Aunt: “Um… C-V-S.”

Doctor’s Office: “Where? Spell it?”

Aunt: “C as in ‘cat,’ V as in ‘Victor,’ S like in ‘Sam.’”

Doctor’s Office: “Where?”

(According to her, this went on for five minutes before she finally got the medication ordered. The customer even warned her that the office was awful before she made the call.)

You’re Boxing Me In Here

Australia, Extra Stupid, Hobart, Patients, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Healthy | June 27, 2018


(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”

Mayor Of Candyland Shouldn’t Mix Up His Candies

Bizarre, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | June 26, 2018


(I work in a pharmacy. I have a regular customer who is rather eccentric, and usually wears the same clothing: a raccoon fur cap — complete with tail — and a denim jacket covered in buttons and patches depicting his niche interests. He also usually rides a store-provided mobility scooter. This day, he comes in wearing a pinstripe suit, a faux velvet top hat, and a plastic pendant on a red ribbon of the sort you might find in a child’s Dracula Halloween costume. He is also walking with a cane, not riding the scooter. It’s the end of a long day, and his outfit is so different from usual that I don’t recognize him at first.)

Me: “Hello, sir. May I have your name?”

Regular: *stares at me for a second* “[Regular].”

Me: “Oh! Mr. [Regular]! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re wearing a different hat!”

(I pull up his profile on the computer while exchanging pleasantries.)

Me: “I’m afraid you don’t have any prescriptions ready. Was there one you were expecting?”

Regular: “I just thought I’d stop by and see if any of my automatic refills were ready.”

Me: “Well, let me see…”

(I look at the relevant page of his profile and see that all of his maintenance medications are indeed set to auto-fill, but it’s still a few weeks before they’re due to be filled again.)

Me: “Looks like you should be good for a while. You should get a call when your prescriptions are filled. Do we have your correct phone number on file?” *repeats number*

Regular: “Yep, that’s the one.”

Me: “All right, then you’ll get a call letting you know when your prescriptions are ready. Thanks for stopping by, Mr. [Regular]. It was good to see you!”

(The regular walks away, making quite the picture with his top hat and suit. The next customer in line comes up to my register and stares after the regular for a moment.)

Customer: “Is he the mayor of Candyland?!”

Teenage Scream

Criminal & Illegal, Pharmacy, South Carolina, Teenagers, USA | Right | June 22, 2018


(I work in a pharmacy. I am filling in as an over-the-counter floor manager while our salaried management is out to meetings. Since I am an hourly supervisor, I am not allowed to do some things, like cash pulls or theft stops, but everything has been smooth throughout the day. It should be noted that at the time of this story, I am several months pregnant, but I am still getting around normally. I am crouching behind the counter for supplies when I hear a customer walk by.)

Me: *popping my head just over the counter* “Good morning!”

Teenage Boy: “Jesus! Uh… hi…”

(The kid looks a bit startled, but I don’t think much of it since I kind of came out of nowhere. I come out from behind the counter to see him flipping through the pegs of condoms. He is acting very sketchy, so I try to stay out of sight but where I can still watch him. Sure enough, he pockets a small pack of condoms. I cut the corner just as he is about to put another pack of condoms in his coat pocket. He drops them on the floor and I exaggeratedly struggle to bend over picking them up.)

Me: *poking my belly out* “Man, let me tell you from experience, I would not recommend this kind.”

Big Spender Is Actually Big Whiner

Bad Behavior, Massachusetts, Pharmacy, USA | Right | June 20, 2018


(It is a somewhat quiet evening. A customer comes in, and I greet her. My manager is standing nearby, and once the customer is out of earshot, she informs me that the customer is well-known for being rude and to call her if I need help. Sure enough, once the customer finishes shopping, she starts.)

Customer: *slams the first of many items onto the counter* “You need to get the manager up here now, because I need a discount.”

Me: *surprised* “Yeah, sure, let me page her now.”

(I page her and ring out the rest of the customer’s items as quickly as I can. My manager walks up from the back.)

Manager: “Hi, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need a discount. I have a coupon on my card, but it doesn’t show up when I try to print it, and you need to do something about it.”

(When this happens, it is almost always customer error; either the wrong email is linked to their store card, or they never set one up at all. We will generally input the coupon as long as the customer can show us the email that contains the coupon. Even if the customer can’t get the email up, we will still put it in under special circumstances — if they are buying a decent amount of stuff, are a regular customer, etc.)

Manager: “Okay, that’s fine. Can you pull up the coupon on your phone? I need to see the coupon to be able to put it in.”

Customer: *raising her voice* “WELL, I can try but I don’t know if it’ll work. You need to give me a discount because I spend a lot of money here, and this is unacceptable!”

Manager: *I can tell she is getting agitated* “All right, well, just try to pull that up, because we cannot give discounts without actually seeing the coupon in some form.”

Customer: “Well, I spend a lot of money here!”

(She clicks around on her phone for a minute or two and is able to bring the coupon up, and my manager puts it in and the customer finally pays and leaves.)

Manager: “You know, it’s a good thing she had her coupon, because I wasn’t going to give her the discount if she didn’t. She could have flipped out all she wanted, but I’ll be d***ed if I’m going to reward her s***ty behavior. Oh, and as for spending a lot of money here, she comes in maybe once a month…”

Unfiltered Story #114601

New Jersey, Pharmacy, USA | Unfiltered | June 15, 2018


(More often than not, customers come in through our registers wearing headphones or talking on the phone. As such, communicating with them becomes a hassle, but it’s tolerable. This is not the case this time. This customer is not wearing headphones, nor is he on his phone.)

Me: How can I help you, sir?

Customer: (says nothing, but drops his items for me to scan)

Me: Do you have your rewards card?

Customer: Yes I do. (He immediately swipes his credit card even though I have not yet started scanning his items)

Me: Sorry sir, the register isn’t ready for that yet.

(I scan his items fairly quickly and he swipes his card once more, again the register isn’t ready to accept payment yet, at this point I can see it’s a chip card so swiping won’t do it any good either way)

Me: Would you like to use your rewards card for this purchase first?

Customer: Oh! Yes. (at this point he puts in his phone number, bringing up his rewards membership, discounts, etc.)

Me: Okay sir, there we go! Now if you could just put the chip in the reader down below

(The customer AGAIN swipes his card through, prompting the card reader to display the “PLEASE INSERT CHIP” message for him to see. He’s not paying attention and I am screaming internally)

Me: Sir, please use the chip reader below.

Customer: Oh okay. (He puts the chip in, and the machine takes his payment)

Me: Thank you very much, sir, and have a good night

(He ignores me once again as he walks out with his purchases)

Medical Bills Paid By Friends’ Bills

Alberta, Calgary, Canada, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Pharmacy | Hopeless | May 30, 2018


(I stop in the pharmacy to get some medications for my husband, who recently lost his job because of a medical condition. We were already on income support because I am physically disabled and this has been a hard hit to our income. We just found out the income support system is about to revoke our benefits unless we can prove that he does not willfully leave his job by the end of the month. With a toddler and both of us needing the medical coverage, this is terrifying. Our normal doctor is on maternity leave until January of next year and her covers won’t help us because they don’t want to deal with the system. The same story goes with every doctor we see. They all insist they need to have been seeing us for at least three months before they’ll even consider it. Neither of us have any family or support, as we were both runaways from abuse. By this point, I am counting change, trying to figure out if I have enough to get the medication we both desperately need.)

Stranger: *taps me on the shoulder* “Hey, let me get that for you.” *tries to shove a ten dollar bill in my hand*

Me: *close to tears* “Oh, no! I really can’t. Thanks, anyway.” *tries to give it back*

Stranger: “Nah, keep it. Or, hey, tell you what…” *hands me a twenty and takes the ten back* “There. Fair trade.”

(By now I was seriously crying and didn’t notice the older man’s mother coming up beside me. Gently she took me by the elbow and they both lead me away from the pharmacy counter. They started asking me questions and I admitted that we were struggling and how scared I was. They started brainstorming between the two of them and gave me numbers to doctors they trusted. They took my email and gave me their phone numbers just in case. As a last thing, they took the twenty-dollar bill, and the man shoved a bunch of money into my bag, saying he wouldn’t take no for an answer and just to pass it on when I had the chance to help someone else. I realized that yes, I needed that help right then. I stopped fighting, figuring it was at most forty bucks but would help pay my kid’s school fees. When I got home and took the money out, I was shocked to see that instead of just a small amount, he’d put five hundred dollars into my bag. That money did help keep us afloat for the next week as we paid bills. We finally found a doctor willing to help us and our income has since stabilized. I told the stranger, who is now a supporter and friend, that we’d pay him back. He refused and told me to help others, instead. I plan to.)

Those Poor, Poor, Dolphins

Bizarre, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | May 28, 2018


(It’s my second day working for a pharmacy at a local grocery store. We have a display near the register that has animal-themed thermometers like dolphins, seals, whales, etc. A woman walks up and picks up a dolphin thermometer, looking at it for a good minute or so.)

Me: “Hi, did you need help with anything?”

Woman: “Yeah, are these for rectal use?”

Butt-Hurt About The Butt-Cream

Bad Behavior, Ohio, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | May 26, 2018


(I work in a pharmacy in a large box store. On Sundays, when only one pharmacist is on duty, the pharmacy shuts down for them to take a lunch break. This story is related to me by one of the pharmacists. The gate is down, but can sort of be seen through, and the pharmacist can be glimpsed through the holes.)

Lady: *at the top of her voice* “HEY! HEY, YOU! ARE YOU OPEN?!”

Pharmacist: “Uh, no, ma’am, we reopen in ten minutes. Please come back then.”

Lady: “IT’LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE! I NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! Please come back in ten minutes.”

Lady: “BUTT! CREAM! JUST GIVE ME SOME G**D*** BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! We’ll reopen in ten minutes!”

Lady: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I JUST NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

(She finally stormed off… two minutes before we reopened for business.)

What A Baka!

Bosses & Owners, Canada, Jerk, Language & Words, Montreal, Pharmacy | Working | May 21, 2018


(My supervisor is known for being quite a nit-pick and strictly following rules that don’t actually exist. Also, I’ve taken a few years of Japanese classes. One day, I get a Japanese customer at my register while my supervisor is filling a display right behind me. The customer and I chat in Japanese while I scan his items, and he asks to pay with his credit card. By company policy, we have to check an ID for every foreign credit card. The customer complies and hands me his Japanese driver license, because he forgot his passport at the hotel. I confirm that the credit card is his, and I am about to hand him his license back.)

Supervisor: “Wait! What are you doing?” *snatches the license from my hand* “You can’t accept this!”

Me: “Why is that? I know that it isn’t a passport, but this is a government-issued ID, and his picture is on it, so I don’t see why I can’t accept it.”

Supervisor: “Well, this ID is not in our alphabet! You can only accept IDs written in our alphabet.”

Me: “First, since when is this a rule? Second, you’ve heard me speak with him for the past two minutes; you know that I speak the language. I can read this, and confirm that the credit card is his.”

Supervisor: “It has to be in our alphabet! You have to be able to read it to accept it.”

Me: “But… [Supervisor], I can read it!”

Supervisor: “Hmph, I’ll let it slide for today, but don’t do that again!”

(I asked the store manager the next day. That rule doesn’t exist.)