Groping For A Verb

home, Illinois, Language & Words, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA | Romantic | February 9, 2018


(In the midst of the spate of sexual harassment stories in the media, my wife puts down the newspaper with a grunt and a sigh.)

Me: “Do I grope you or do I fondle you?”

Wife: “Both, sometimes.”

Me: “What’s the difference? Because I thought I had been gently fondling you for 42 years.”

Wife: “Groping is when I don’t want to be fondled.”

Me: “…”

Wife: “Shut up.”