Time To Prescribe Some Common Sense
Chicago, Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Insurance, USA | Healthy | January 26, 2018
(I have been put on a prescription by my doctor. As I am not particularly fond of the modern designer drug industry, my prescription is something that has been on the market for over 50 years. As such, it is very cheap. After I have been using it for four or five months, my insurance company calls me.)
Me: “Hello?”
Agent: “Hello, this is [Agent] from [Insurance Company] calling. Is this [My Name]?”
Me: “Yes. What can I do for you?”
Agent: “I would like to tell you about our fantastic prescription drug plan! You can get regular shipments of your medications every three months, which will save you money. Here’s how it works…” *drones on whilst I try to interrupt*
Me: “Ma’am?”
Agent: *continues script*
Me: “Ma’am?”
Agent: *continues script*
Me: “Ma’am?”
Agent: “Yes?”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m on exactly one prescription, which costs exactly one dollar and seventy-six cents per month, including tax. Nobody else in the house has any other prescriptions.”
Agent: “Oh.”
Me: “I doubt you can save me any money on of that one.”
Agent: *laughing* “You’re right; we probably can’t. Thank you for your patience!”
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What A Diabeetus, Part 4
Alabama, Birmingham, Extra Stupid, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 26, 2018
(I am sitting at my desk behind the nurses’ station when one of our new patients approaches me.)
Patient: “Can you do me a favor and check my lab work for me?”
Me: “I sure can, sir. Let me get you pulled up, here. What did you want me to look over?”
Patient: “Can you check to see if there’s any diabetes in my blood?”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Patient: “Diabetes. In my blood.”
Me: “Did you mean your glucose level, sir?”
Patient: *clearly exasperated* “No, I mean if the doctor found any diabetes in my blood.”
Me: “Sir, that’s… that’s not how diabetes works.”
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