Paging Doctor Cymbeline
AUSTRALIA, FUNNY NAMES, HOSPITAL, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MARCH 9, 2020
(I work on the switchboard for a major hospital. We take a lot of calls, have a lot of options to put callers to, and are, unfortunately, very used to callers giving us very little information so we have to guess the rest.)
Me: “Good afternoon, switchboard.”
Internal Caller: “Yeah, can I speak to Imogen?”
Me: “Imogen who?”
Internal Caller: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Uh, okay. Do you know what Imogen does or what department she works in?”
Internal Caller: “I don’t know; the doctor just wants a copy of an X-ray.”
Me: *light-bulb moment* “OH! You want to speak to imaging!”
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The Most Relatable Toddler
ADORABLE CHILDREN, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 8, 2020
(On the morning of my son’s two-year-old “well-child” checkup, he wakes up unusually grumpy. Shockingly, the news that he has to go to see the pediatrician does not improve his mood, so in an effort to get him to stop whining in the back of the car, I make an absolute rookie mistake. I promise him that after his appointment, I will take him on a trip to his favorite place. I then discover that I have the kind of two-year-old who neither understands nor accepts the concept of “after,” and as such, the following interaction happens at least six times in the next 45 minutes
Son: *wordlessly bawling at the top of his lungs*
Nurse: “Oh, no, what’s the matter?”
Son: “I WANT TO GO TO TARGET.”
Nurse: “Me, too, honey. Me, too.”
(At least he did not scream at the doctor. Instead, he gently wept and whispered, “Please. Target.”)