Urine Need Of An Appointment
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 13, 2018
(I am still a teenager when this happens. I’ve had several bladder infections, which took a while to diagnose because I am a man, “and men never get urine infections.” Luckily my GP and parents take me seriously after the final diagnosis, so if I feel it coming, I pee in a pot, take it to the GP, and he does the test and gives me the antibiotics. A cause has yet to be found. One day I wake up in immense pain. I suspect bladder infection, but I can hardly squeeze anything out. The result also looks different, and I immediately go to the GP with my parents and my little jar. I don’t have to wait for long, and when the GP sees the little jar, he gets ready for the normal tests. Then… he suddenly turns back and takes the jar.)
GP: “Wait… I officially have to test this, but please go to the hospital right away.”
Father: “What is wrong?”
GP: “It’s a bladder infection, I’m positive but…” *he shows the jar, which holds three separate layers of fluids* “This is blood, this is proteins, and this is urine. It’s not supposed to separate… at all. Please leave right away, while I test this.”
(When I reached the hospital, results were in, a bed was made ready, and I spent a week at the hospital with a very severe bladder infection. I still often feel bladder infections coming, but it turns out my body responds really well to cranberry juice, so I haven’t had any need for antibiotics ever since!)
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This Joke Is On The Spectrum
MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 12, 2018
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was fourteen, and I’ve never really seen anything bad about it. I like to make jokes about having it sometimes, too.
Whenever I go to the doctor, I ask if I need any vaccines or shots at the time, and I distinctly remember one of my doctors making a remark on how I’m one of the only people who ask voluntarily. I was fifteen at the time and this doctor works usually with younger patients.
I calmly looked her in the eye and smiled brightly before saying, “I already have autism; what’s the worst that can happen?”
It wasn’t as funny as I thought it was when she assumed I actually thought that vaccines caused autism and started lecturing me.
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