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Your Reaction Has You In Stitches
CONNECTICUT, HEALTH & BODY, OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 22, 2017
(Due to living through some really messed up stuff, I have an incredibly high pain tolerance, and avoid asking for help if it’s something I can do myself. Combine that with the fact that I am a massive klutz, and you get someone that consistently injures themselves (frequently at work), fixes it as best they can, and just shrugs it off as nothing. I have once again managed to hurt myself, resulting in about a two-inch long gash on my forearm. It’s not too deep, but it needs stitches. I can and have stitched myself up from similar injuries in the past, using sewing needles and fishing line. I am in the middle of doing this, when a coworker I will refer to as “Work Mom” walks into my office.)
Work Mom: “Hey, [My Name], my computer is having iss— WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING?!”
(I do not stop stitching as I speak with her.)
Me: “Oh, I just got a little cut, and am sewing myself back up. I’ll be right as rain in a minute. So what’s going on with your computer?”
Work Mom: “No. No, no, no. How are you not screaming? You are coming with me to the walk-in right now!”
Me: *stops stitching* “I really don’t think that’s necessary. I’ve done this before, and I’ll be fine.”
Work Mom: “I’m calling medical, then you are going to the doctor. You do not have a choice in this, you crazy b****!”
(I give up, as arguing at this point is futile. I walk down the hall to medical, and sit in a chair after speaking to the onsite medical person. As Work Mom’s back is turned, I finish stitching up the cut, and cut the needle free. Work Mom gets permission to take me knowing I won’t go by myself, and we go to the walk-in clinic. We wait for a bit, and get called into a room. The doctor walks in about 10 minutes later.)
Doctor: “So, what’re you here for today?”
Me: “I think it’s a bit of an overrea—”
Work Mom: “This crazy person got a cut, and decided that it would be easiest to stitch it up herself!”
Doctor: “…what? You’re kidding me.”
Me: “No. I’ve done this before, and had no trouble.” *I hold out my arm for the doctor to inspect*
Doctor: “Jesus, woman! Didn’t that hurt?”
Me: “Eh.”
Doctor: “I’ll have to remove this… What did you use?”
Me: “Fishing line.”
Doctor: *mutters something under his breath* “I’ll get the proper tools for this.”
Me: *knowing I will never get another chance to ask this* “So, how’s my stitching?”
Doctor: “What? Did you just really ask me that?”
Me: “Yeah, come on. I’m curious.” *I have a massive s***-eating grin on my face at this point*
Doctor: *mumbles something*
Me: “Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”
Doctor: *exasperated* “You’re stitching is fine, but seriously, don’t do this again!”
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