Digging Your Tree Out Of A Hole
EDITORS' CHOICE, LANDSCAPING, STUPID | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 28, 2009
(I’m a landscaper paying a visit to a customer; he had called in complaining about a 5-foot sapling I had planted that is now dying.)

Me: “What’s up with the tree?”

Customer: “It died, see? Lemme show you!”

(I follow the customer back to his lawn and notice that the sapling we planted a couple of weeks ago was now apparently two feet tall and very dead.)

Me: “Sir, what happened to this?”

Customer: “It was going to get too tall so I decided to bury it deeper.”

Me: “You buried it deeper?”

Customer: “I dug it out, dug a deeper hole until it was the right height and then buried it again. Now it’s dead!”

Me: “Sir, you do know you weren’t supposed to do that, right? If you wanted a smaller tree, you should have gotten a shrub.”

Customer: “But I want a small plum tree!”