VietBF - View Single Post - The Wannabe Mayor And His Spokesperson, Unmasked

florida80 · 11-23-2021

Welcome To The Stage, Ma’am-O-Gram!
Editors' Choice, Hospital, Indianapolis, Non-Dialogue, Rude & Risque, USA, Wordplay | Healthy | December 20, 2019
During my regular mammogram, the doctor saw a lump that they wanted better images of, so I went to the clinic for the diagnostic mammogram follow-up. In my mid-forties now, I used to be an exotic dancer years ago, and I’m not exactly shy.

The nurse was getting me prepped for the diagnostic mammogram. This involved a couple of magic marker lines for orientation. She also applied some kind of metal sticker to point to the area of interest.

She turned to put a note in the file and told me, “Give me two shakes and we’ll get this done and over with.”

Odd directions… but I gave her my best shimmy, making sure that the sticker stayed attached to my swinging breasts.

She laughed so hard that she dropped her pen and needed a minute to recollect her professional cool.

Apparently, she meant the phrase “in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” meaning, “in a short time.” She wasn’t expecting a show!

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Emergency Services Needs To Address This Issue
Colorado, Emergency Services, Geography, Lafayette, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | December 18, 2019
(Leaving the fast-food drive-thru window, I am overwhelmed with a wave of nausea and dizziness. I manage to pull across several parking spaces and wait, hoping I’ll feel better. I don’t. I think I might pass out, and wish I’d throw up because that might make me feel better. Clearly, I can’t drive, and I have no idea what was wrong. Dizzy, scared, and disoriented, I call 911.)

911: “911! What’s the address of your emergency?”

Me: “I have no idea. I’m at the [Fast Food Restaurant] on the corner of [Highway] and [Cross street].”

911: “But I need a specific address.”

Me: “I can’t give you a specific address. I’m in pain and scared. I’m at–” *repeats cross streets* “Please help me!”

911: “We cannot help you without a street address, ma’am.”

Me: *losing my cool completely* “Okay, start at the hospital. Drive north on [Highway] a few blocks. When you get to [Major Store], look to the east, to your right. You will see [Fast Food Place] with a car parked across several spots. That’s me!”

(Funniest thing, they did find me! It turned out to be a kidney stone.)

11-23-2021	#441
florida80 R11 Độc Cô Cầu Bại Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 113,777 Thanks: 7,441 Thanked 47,021 Times in 13,125 Posts Mentioned: 1 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s) Quoted: 511 Post(s) Rep Power: 161	Welcome To The Stage, Ma’am-O-Gram! Editors' Choice, Hospital, Indianapolis, Non-Dialogue, Rude & Risque, USA, Wordplay \| Healthy \| December 20, 2019 During my regular mammogram, the doctor saw a lump that they wanted better images of, so I went to the clinic for the diagnostic mammogram follow-up. In my mid-forties now, I used to be an exotic dancer years ago, and I’m not exactly shy. The nurse was getting me prepped for the diagnostic mammogram. This involved a couple of magic marker lines for orientation. She also applied some kind of metal sticker to point to the area of interest. She turned to put a note in the file and told me, “Give me two shakes and we’ll get this done and over with.” Odd directions… but I gave her my best shimmy, making sure that the sticker stayed attached to my swinging breasts. She laughed so hard that she dropped her pen and needed a minute to recollect her professional cool. Apparently, she meant the phrase “in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” meaning, “in a short time.” She wasn’t expecting a show! 1 Thumbs 816 60 Emergency Services Needs To Address This Issue Colorado, Emergency Services, Geography, Lafayette, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA \| Healthy \| December 18, 2019 (Leaving the fast-food drive-thru window, I am overwhelmed with a wave of nausea and dizziness. I manage to pull across several parking spaces and wait, hoping I’ll feel better. I don’t. I think I might pass out, and wish I’d throw up because that might make me feel better. Clearly, I can’t drive, and I have no idea what was wrong. Dizzy, scared, and disoriented, I call 911.) 911: “911! What’s the address of your emergency?” Me: “I have no idea. I’m at the [Fast Food Restaurant] on the corner of [Highway] and [Cross street].” 911: “But I need a specific address.” Me: “I can’t give you a specific address. I’m in pain and scared. I’m at–” repeats cross streets “Please help me!” 911: “We cannot help you without a street address, ma’am.” Me: losing my cool completely “Okay, start at the hospital. Drive north on [Highway] a few blocks. When you get to [Major Store], look to the east, to your right. You will see [Fast Food Place] with a car parked across several spots. That’s me!” (Funniest thing, they did find me! It turned out to be a kidney stone.)