[Thiệu Ngô]

Hello my beautiful, unhinged, late-night Jimmy Kimmel fans. It’s Saturday, November 29th, and while normal people are trying to sleep off Thanksgiving leftovers, Donald Trump is having what experts technically call a “full-blown Disaster Saturday.” His polling is tanking, his regime is cracking, and the wannabe king is on social media ranting like a guy who just got banned from the casino.

So let’s pour a coffee, or something stronger, and talk about the car crash in slow motion that was Donald Trump’s Saturday morning.

Early this morning, Trump logs onto his knockoff Twitter and posts a message that starts like any normal government advisory… and then goes completely insane. He writes: “To all airlines pilots, drug dealers and human traffickers, please consider the airspace above and surrounding Venezuela to be closed in its entirety. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”

That’s it. That’s the statement. No legal authority, no FAA order, nothing from the Pentagon — just a 3 a.m. brain burp from a man who thinks he’s still playing Risk on the floor of his fake gold ballroom.

He’s literally addressing “airlines pilots, drug dealers and human traffickers” like they’re all reading from the same group chat. And he’s telling them that the airspace over another sovereign country is “closed in its entirety,” like he just put a cone in a parking lot. The implication is pretty obvious: he wants everyone to believe he’s closing the skies so he can invade Venezuela.

So on one hand, he’s threatening war. On the other, he’s basically acknowledging that drug dealers and human traffickers feel so comfortable under his regime that they’re just vibing up there in first class, checking his fee

A map of the airspace shows planes going in and out like normal. The world is continuing; airlines are following real rules, not whatever came out of Donald’s brain at 5 a.m. But he doesn’t care. This sick individual just disrupts the global order on a whim, like a toddler flipping Monopoly off the table because he landed on Boardwalk.