(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”
Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”
(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)
Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”
Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”
Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”
Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!
(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”
(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)
Extra Stupid, Hospital, Jerk, New Mexico, Non-Dialogue, Patients, USA | Healthy | July 1, 2018
One of our patients has a procedure in the morning for which he needs to not eat or drink anything for twelve hours prior. This isn’t uncommon before many procedures, and while it’s not pleasant, it’s doable for most people.
Not so with this patient. As soon as the twelve hours start, he rings his call light every fifteen minutes demanding we bring him something to eat. The first few times, his nurse goes in and explains to him why he can’t eat and what the dangers are, and tells him that if he really needs to eat, we can postpone or cancel the procedure — which is not an emergency, but not entirely unelective. He is adamant that he does not want to postpone or cancel, but he demands that we bring him something to eat.
Obviously, we can’t ignore call lights, and so I fall hours behind in my work going into his room every fifteen minutes to reiterate what he already knows: he can eat now and postpone the procedure, or not eat and have it in the morning. He refuses to accept this and insists we bring him something to eat and that we perform the procedure as scheduled.
Around 3:00 in the morning, the call lights finally stop, and we are all relieved, assuming that he has finally fallen asleep. However, while I am catching up on the work I am behind on, I turn the corner to find the stack of dinner trays waiting to be picked up by the cafeteria, and this patient eating off of a used dinner tray. Without saying anything to the patient, and with a certain amount of satisfaction, I call the nurse and tell her she should let the doctor know that his scheduled morning procedure will have to be cancelled.
(When I was a teenager, I did drugs to cope with mental illness and a bad situation at home. It resulted in me being addicted to intravenous medicines and drugs. Later, I ended up in rehab and got proper care. This happens a few weeks after I get released from rehab.)
Nurse: “We have to take a blood test so we know you don’t take drugs anymore.”
Me: “Don’t you usually do pee tests?”
Nurse: “We think a blood test will be more effective in your case.”
Me: “I would really prefer that you don’t force me to have my blood drawn.”
Nurse: “We really think it would be more effective in your case.”
Me: “You think forcing an ex-addict to be stabbed with needles is going to be effective to said ex-addict’s recovery?”
The CDC Will Shut This Place Down For The Worst Juvenile Hypochondria It’s Ever Seen
Brooklyn, Doctor/Physician, Funny Kids, Medical Office, New York, Patients, USA | Healthy | June 29, 2018
(Overheard between a pediatrician and a seven-year-old patient
Pediatrician: “Look, [Child], you learned more about [disease] on your own; that’s a good thing! It’s very smart to learn all about your health. And, you found out online that we always tell the CDC when someone has [disease]. I think it’s very good when people learn about how we keep track of disease. But from now on, calling the CDC is my job, not yours.”
Alabama, Bad Behavior, Dentist, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | June 28, 2018
I go to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out. I have had two shots already and the laughing gas on, no big problem.
He starts trying to pull one tooth out that grew in crooked and I tell him that it is hurting. He gives me another shot, which should deaden it right then. He tells me not to be such a baby. Then, instead of being gentle and rocking it back and forth to loosen it before pulling it, he grabs a pair of pliers and snatches the tooth straight out of the gum!
He starts doing that with my other one on the same side. I bite the fire out of him. He has the nerve to tell my mom that I “need to be more prepared for a dental visit.” Not when one almost snatches your gums out of your mouth!
I go straight from that dentist to one that treated me when I was a child. He is super nice, and he helps straighten out what the other one did to me. He takes one look in my mouth and says, “When was the last time you went to a dentist?” I reply, “I just came from one.”
Australia, Extra Stupid, Hobart, Patients, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Healthy | June 27, 2018
(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)
Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”
Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”
Me: “Sure. What do you need?”
Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”
Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”
Not The Kind Of “Fall Into My Arms” Story We’re Used To
Australia, Golden Years, Grocery Store, Health & Body, Kind Strangers, New South Wales | Healthy | June 26, 2018
(I’m standing behind a woman in line at the checkout who has put her groceries on the belt and has picked up her tiny baby out of the seat, as the baby started fussing. The customer in front of her is a sweet, older man who is having trouble getting his card to work. The woman is swaying side to side, something I don’t think much of because I did the same to calm down my kids when they were small. The older man turns to apologise for the wait, and gets a funny look on his face.)
Older Guy: “Are you okay, ma’am?”
(The woman spins around to face me and I see her face is slightly purple and her eyes are completely unfocused and darting around. Before I can react to try to catch her, she shoves the baby in my direction. I drop my items and catch the baby just in time, and the old man tries to catch the woman as she drops and starts twitching. They both end up on the floor, though he does break her fall. The cashier calls for help and there’s a flurry of activity, with managers calling for an ambulance and helping the woman. The old man scrambles back to his feet, and he and I step aside — me still holding the baby — while the ambulance officers show up and diagnose her with a seizure and start loading her into an ambulance. They take the baby with them — she has regained consciousness at this point and screams for her baby, thinking she had dropped them when she fell. In all the activity, the older man stays at the end of the checkout, waiting to finish paying for his groceries and leave. I look down and see he is holding his arm strangely.)
Me: “Sir, are you okay?”
Older Guy: “Ah, landed on my arm a bit funny.”
(Upon closer inspection, his arm is clearly broken quite badly near his wrist.)
Cashier: “Oh, no! Why didn’t you tell the ambulance guys? They would have taken you, too!”
Older Guy: “Oh, no, they were busy with the young lass. I’ve had my time; youngins are the future! I’ll get it looked at later.”
(We did eventually convince him to let me drive him to the hospital, with a promise of dropping his groceries off at home to his wife. She was beside herself and let me drive her back to her husband’s car so they wouldn’t have to worry about it later. Given the amount of stories on here about old people being cranky and mean, I was touched to find one who was willing to sit quietly through immense pain just so someone else would receive medical attention.)
Family & Kids, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | June 25, 2018
(I’m 38 and pregnant for the first time. My OB has a bit of a specialty in older pregnancies, so I’m not surprised to see a woman looking older than me in the waiting room.)
Me: “This is my first. We weren’t really planning anything; you know, whatever happens, happens.”
Woman: “Pregnancy six, baby number nine. Christ, what I would give for a girl this time.”
Me: “Nine? All the rest are boys? Wow.”
Woman: “Yep. In my defense, pregnancies three and four were multiples, and pregnancy five was surprise; the vasectomy didn’t take.”
Me: *afraid to ask now* “And this one?”
Woman: “My husband and I put a hit out on the urologist. The boys are pretty evenly split between this kid being the messiah and their dad being Wolverine.”
Me: “Was it a shock for them?”
Woman: “When we Skyped our oldest, he laughed so hard he fell off the chair and concussed himself. We had to explain to his gunny why he was giggling while bleeding profusely from the head.” *she sighs* “I’m too old for this crap.”
(She was called back then. Lady, I wish you all the luck.)
Canada, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Patients, Revolting, Silly | Healthy | June 24, 2018
I have to give a stool sample. I don’t have to go while I’m at the clinic, so I go home and bring it back later. Literally the only opaque bag I can find in the house is a gift bag… so I put the container in that.
I feel bad, but watching the nurse’s expression turn from delight to horror as she realizes I have not brought her a present is… pretty funny.
(I’ve been having trouble getting solid sleep lately, and my partner informs me that I’ve suddenly stopped breathing in my sleep a few times. My doctor refers me to a local hospital for a sleep study. My partner comes with me, since he’ll be helping me set up the equipment for my at-home study. The technician walks us through the process, and packs everything up for us to take home.)
Tech: “Now make sure you start hooking this all up a half hour before midnight, okay? You don’t have to be asleep when it switches on, but you should be in bed and settling down for the night. It’s all automated and will beep when it comes on, and switches off again at nine-thirty. Any questions?”
Me: “No, I think I’m—”
Partner: “Yes! I have one.”
Tech: “Yep?”
Partner: “We can still have sex once she’s all hooked up, right? I’ve always had a thing for Borgs.”
(One look at his face, and the tech can tell he’s not serious. I’ve been pretty anxious about the not-breathing thing, and he’s been trying to make jokes all day to cheer me up.)
Tech: “Now, I know you’re joking, but please don’t actually do that. You can damage the leads or accidentally switch the recording device off. We’ve had it happen.”
Partner: *surprised* “You’re kidding!”
Tech: “No. We even had one man book an in-hospital test, and his wife showed up with him. She apparently thought it was like a hotel, and that he was just after a night away from the kids.”
Me: “Wow.”
Tech: “She wasn’t thrilled when we told her she had to leave.”
Partner: “Well, would you be? I mean, there goes your romantic evening in these luxurious surroundings…” *he waves around the very basic hospital room we’re sitting in*
California, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Los Angeles, Security, USA | Healthy | June 22, 2018
(I’ve ended up in the ER waiting room with an excruciating spinal headache, due to a myelogram test I underwent four days earlier. This means I can’t have any part of my spine bent for more than a minute or so without the headache coming on and making me severely sick. I’ve been becoming severely sick the entire four days anytime I’ve so much as gone to the toilet, so I’ve been forced to be bedridden the entire time. The waiting room has nowhere to lie down, not even two chairs near each other without a non-removable armrest between them. I also know that if I stand in place straight up for more than a few minutes my blood pressure will drop and I’ll lose consciousness. For lack of any other solution, I’ve crawled to lie down on the floor in a semi-clean corner, with my head under one of the unused seats, to hide from the bright ceiling lights and be as much out of the way as possible. I’ve been waiting this way for over an hour. I carefully get up to ask the check-in nurse how much longer it’ll be. She can’t tell me; she can only say that I’ll have to wait some more. I go back to my place on the floor. In less than a minute, a security guard comes up.)
Guard: “Miss, you can’t lie on the floor here.”
Me: “What? I need to be lying down. If I don’t, I’ll become badly sick.”
Guard: “Well, but surely you can sit down, miss; there are seats here. You just can’t be lying down.”
Me: *bewildered at having to explain such obvious things in an ER waiting room, and after already having lain there for an hour without being bothered or bothering anyone* “I’m sorry, but I can’t sit anywhere. The reason I’ve come to the ER is that I have a specific condition where I become severely sick when I’m sitting. There’s no way I can physically be in that position right now. I have to be lying down so I don’t become ill.”
Guard: “Oh, well… But miss, there’s a rule that says you aren’t allowed to lie on the floor in this room. So couldn’t you please just go over right there and sit in one of these nice empty seats, anyway? There’s a rule, you see.” *looks at me expectantly like he’s making a perfectly reasonable suggestion.*
Me: “…”
(I checked later: there were no signs anywhere in the room stating such a rule.)
Canada, Doctor/Physician, Health & Body, Jerk, Patients, Physical | Healthy | June 22, 2018
(I go to a small chiropractic office with no receptionist. As you come in, you ask the others waiting who is last in line, and then you know where your place is in line. The doctor brings the previous person out, and the next person in line goes in. Works excellent, usually. One day, I have been waiting through three or four previous patients and I am the only one left waiting. A guy comes in, looks around and sees me, a middle-aged woman, standing there.)
Guy: “I’m sure you won’t mind if I go ahead of you. I’m in a lot of pain.”
Me: “Actually, I’m in quite a bit of pain, too.”
(The guy gives me a dirty look and sits down. The doctor emerges and the guy jumps up to be next. The doctor swivels sideways to block the guy’s entrance to the office.)
Doctor: “Hello, [My Name], you’ve been waiting so patiently even though you’re in too much pain to sit down. I’m sorry to have been so long.”
(Apparently the guy tried this whenever there was a woman in front of him. Love my chiropractor.)
Because There Is No One Else Sick Today Except You
Bad Behavior, Medical Center, Patients, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | June 21, 2018
(This takes place in a busy OB/GYN clinic. I’m a provider, one of four who are scheduled to see five or six patients per hour. We run all day to stay on schedule. A notoriously needy patient calls the front desk staff.)
Patient: “I have my appointment card and it says three, but I’m pretty sure my appointment was for one… Can you check?”
Clerk: “Looking in the computer, you’re scheduled for three, so we’ll see you then!”
(The patient over the years has scammed the private phone number for the patient care area, and calls.)
Patient: “I have an appointment for three, but I’m really sure I am supposed to come at one… You can see me, right?”
Nurse: “No, we are booked solid. We’ll see you at three!”
(Of course, the patient arrives at one. The desk clerk tells her we will see her at three. She sits in the waiting room and complains to everyone around her. Since we share a waiting area with a large family practice clinic and a couple of specialties, this gives her lots of opportunities. The poor desk clerk begs us to get her in early; initially we refuse, but after an hour, I have a teeny break in my schedule, so I relent. She smirks as the nurse brings her to the exam room. I do her routine visit. On the way out
Patient: “Oh, [My Name], I knew I could count on you; you’re always so nice to me.”
Me: “Well, [Patient], it turned out I had one opening in my schedule. The person scheduled for this time didn’t come, because she lost her baby.”
Patient: “Oh, [My Name!] Why did you tell me that?! Now I feel bad!“
Australia, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Melbourne, Reception, Victoria | Healthy | June 21, 2018
(I have a bad cold and need a medical certificate for work. I go to the walk-in clinic in my area, and the receptionist asks for my public health care card. I pass it to her.)
Receptionist: “Do you have a current one?”
Me: “Isn’t that current?”
Receptionist: “It’s expired; I can’t accept it.”
Me: “What? I haven’t gotten a new one yet.”
Receptionist: *she flips it around to show me, and taps on the expiry date*
Me: “Um, that’s not expired.”
Receptionist: *she taps it again*
Me: “That says 07-18.”
Receptionist: “Yep.”
Me: “It’s June.”
Receptionist: “Yep.”
Me: “June is the sixth month.”
Receptionist: “Wait.” *she checks something on her computer* “SO IT IS! Okay, the wait is currently half an hour; take a seat and we will call you when you’re up!”
Me: “Thanks.”
Receptionist: “And keep an eye out in the mail for your new card!”
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Nurses, Patients, Silly, USA | Healthy | June 21, 2018
(I consider myself very lucky that I have always been healthy. I was never sick often as a kid, and have no chronic ailments as an adult. Call me crazy, but I generally assumed that was the case for most people unless they had a serious accident, or developed a condition, etc. That is, until recently, when I check into the hospital for a minor procedure. Nothing is wrong; this is a procedure having to do with fertility. My mom goes with me the morning of my appointment and is sitting by my bed while I fill out the final pre-surgery forms and get set up with the IV, etc. Over the course of the next half-hour, I have only slightly different versions of the same conversation with every nurse and doctor who comes to check on me
Nurse #1 : *checks my chart* “I see here your only medication is birth control?”
Doctor #2 : “Birth control is the only thing you take?”
Me: *turning to my mom after the last doctor leaves* “Are they being really, really thorough, or do we just live in a very unhealthy area?”
Mom: “When I had surgery last year only two people asked me about the medicines I take. It seems strange to me, too, and you’re so young! What do they expect you to be taking?”
(The procedure goes fine, and soon I’m waking up from the anesthesia.)
Mom: “Hi, honey.”
Nurse #5 : “Hi there, [My Name]! You did great!” *checks my chart* “Are you really only taking birth control, and nothing else?”
Me: *slurred and groggy* “Seriously?! How unhealthy did you expect me to be?!”
Cafe, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, UK, Wales | Healthy | June 20, 2018
(A few months ago I had a stupid sport accident resulting in a hurt knee. To fight this, I wear a knee support. It’s a brand professional athletes use; it’s bright blue and covers my leg from mid-calf to mid-thigh. A regular about the same age as my grandfather comes into the café where I work and sees my leg.)
Regular: “What happened to you?”
Me: “Sport trauma.” *it’s the fastest and least descriptive way to say it*
Regular: “Oh, too much upstairs sports, is that right?”
Bad Behavior, Hospital, Silly, South Carolina, USA | Healthy | June 20, 2018
(My uncle just had surgery and is telling me about it.)
Uncle: “They told me, because the painkillers mess with your head, to wait 24 hours before making any important decisions or signing any legal documents.”
Bad Behavior, home, Israel, Non-Dialogue, Parents/Guardians, Patients | Healthy | June 20, 2018
When I was in elementary school, my parents had an obsessive conviction that I must never be allowed to stay home alone during summer vacation, even though they were perfectly fine with letting me stay home alone on a regular basis during the school year.
They always signed me up for every single multi-week summer “camp” available, the ones where kids go or are bused somewhere in the morning and return in the afternoon, like with school.
This happens when I’m about 11. My parents both work, so they’ve signed me up for a camp where kids spend the whole day in a water-park, mostly under the sun non-stop, wearing only swimsuits.
One night before bedtime, Mom plugs some kind of new bug-repelling device she’s just bought into an electric outlet in my bedroom.
When I wake up, I’m covered head to toe in large, swollen, red, and extremely itchy hives. They are absolutely everywhere. I look like a horror movie monster and can’t stop scratching.
Mom examines me, and declares that it must be “just” an allergic response to the bug repellent, and that it is “not a big deal.” I must still go to camp as usual. She doesn’t even try to put any kind of lotion on me or do anything.
I protest having to go anywhere in this condition, as I feel terrible and look frightening.
Mom insists, and derides me for being a baby and whining. She repeats that it’s clearly not a big deal.
It’s clear to me that she just wants to go to work as usual, doesn’t want to be bothered today with taking an ill child to a doctor, and still refuses to let me stay home on my own despite me being too sick to go out. But there’s nothing I can do about it.
Being at the water-park is awful. The chemicals in all the pools and being in the hot sun all irritate and inflame the hives further. As nearly my entire body is exposed in the swimsuit, all the other children look at me with contempt and disgust. Pointing and whispering quickly begins, and I become the target of relentless teasing.
There are very few adults around, and none of them notice or care about anyone being unwell unless they’re clearly dying; most of them are either lifeguards at the pools or people handing out our lunches and snacks, so anything outside that just isn’t their problem.
I spend the entire day absolutely unable to stop scratching everywhere and utterly miserable, while worrying that I have some awful disease — I’ve never had allergic reactions before in my life.
When I finally get home, my mom seems terribly surprised that the hives haven’t gotten any better and that I feel awful.
After some lengthy discussion, it’s decided they’ll actually let me see a doctor. Tomorrow. And Dad will be the one to take off work to take me.
The next day by midday the hives have finally began to partially reduce in size… as I haven’t been sent to a freaking water park today. The doctor I’m taken to says that it is in fact clearly an allergic reaction; most likely to that bug repellent device. And that I clearly should be kept in cool and dry conditions until it goes away: no more sun, chemicals, and dampness. And no more chemical bug repellents in my room.
My parents very begrudgingly allow me to stay home for a day or two after that. I can only remain grateful that this is the only time in my childhood I have had any kind of allergic reaction; otherwise, there’s even odds I’d be dead now.
Thanks so much, Mom, for your entire handling of this situation; your caring and consideration of my health will always stay in my heart.
Food & Drink, Health & Body, home, Parents/Guardians, Slovenia | Healthy | June 19, 2018
(I am a type-one diabetic and have been for 18 years. I am using an insulin pump, and to give myself correct amount of insulin, I have to calculate the amount of carbohydrates I have eaten. Note that carbohydrates represent a half of the weight of a piece of bread. This happens when I come home from school with hypoglycaemia when I’m 11.)
Dad: “What have you eaten today? Did you give yourself the right amount of insulin?”
Me: “Well, I ate a piece of bread and gave myself insulin for a third of its weight.”
Medical Office, Nurses, Patients, Silly, USA, Utah | Healthy | June 19, 2018
(My mom has notoriously small veins, which I have inherited. This happens while I’m getting my blood drawn. My dad is there with me.)
Nurse: *seems to be having trouble finding a vein, tries looking in many different places* “Okay, I think we’re going to end up taking from your hand rather than your arm, because that might be the only place that it will work.”
Dad: “[My Name], do you have really small veins like Mom?”
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