(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body, Pharmacy, USA | Working | June 30, 2017
(I have gone to the pharmacy to refill a prescription. The transaction goes completely normal until the very end after I’ve checked out.)
Worker: “Can I interest you in a free doughnut?”
(I look at her in confusion. I wasn’t expecting being offered a doughnut at 12:30 pm from my pharmacy tech, so my brain takes a bit to process that I did hear those words. After a moment, I shake my head.)
Me: “No, thank you!”
Worker: “…that was rather silly to offer someone picking up diabetes medication, huh?”
Connecticut, Overtime, Pharmacy, USA | Working | June 28, 2017
(I work as a pharmacy technician. As a rule, we aren’t allowed to carry non-clear bags (i.e. purses, backpacks, etc.) into the pharmacy, and as a result hand carry in valuables like phones, keys, and wallets. Early on, the lead technicians and managers had figured out I would stay later if asked, sometimes up to two hours after my shift had ended. This would usually end in my girlfriend or some other friend calling me at the pharmacy worried to see if I was still there or had gotten home yet. To stop from being asked to stay later, I start sneaking out of the pharmacy through the side door, which is one way. It is after a shift with at least one coworker who has a reputation of trying to talk me into staying later, and it is a busy night. I slip out the side door, am grabbing my things to leave, when I realize I left my keys in the pharmacy. Unfortunately, the only way to get into the pharmacy is through the front half-door. I try to get back in unnoticed by my coworkers, which doesn’t work at all. As I’m grabbing my keys, my coworkers stop me.)
Coworker #1 : “What, you left without saying goodbye?” *standard procedure so that we know which areas of the pharmacy aren’t covered*
Manager: “Yeah, we were just discussing that. You do that a lot.”
Me: “If I say I’m leaving, you guys usually try to make me stay later.”
Coworker #1 : “Yeah… I probably would’ve asked you to stay later.”
(I can’t say I wasn’t asked to stay later after that night, but at least since saying something in front of the manager, the lead techs would give me at least a few hours notice of wanting me to stay later
(I have gone to my local pharmacy to see if they have a cream suitable to put on a small insect bite on my 8-month-old’s face. They do not. I have also picked up some formula, and a lipstick for myself. The assistant has already been very confrontational with me, telling me off for not taking the baby to see a doctor about the bite. I am feeling very uncomfortable as she puts the rest of my items through the till, so I try and lighten the mood.)
Me: *to baby, in a joking voice* “Don’t worry, little man, a bit of concealer and you’ll be ready to impress the ladies in no time!”
Assistant: “What?! You can’t do that!”
Me: “Of course I won’t. I was joking.”
Assistant: “Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be? You have no idea what’s in those sort of products! Besides, babies are already beautiful!”
Me: “Yes, I’m sorry; I should not have made a joke about it.”
(She pulls the lipstick I have bought out of the basket.)
Assistant: “See! I knew you weren’t joking! You can’t put this on your child’s face!”
Me: “That’s for me. That’s bright red lipstick!”
Assistant: “Lipstick! That’s even worse! Why would you put lipstick on a baby?!”
Me: “I’m not going to put lipstick on my baby!”
Assistant: “I’m not going to sell this to you. Go home and take your baby to the doctor as you are supposed to.”
(I hurried out, feeling pretty tearful. I dutifully went to the doctor, who quite frankly was perplexed why I was there for such a minor problem! My son’s face cleared up within a day, and at no point did he wear the lipstick — it just wasn’t his colour!)
(I am talking to a regular customer, who is looking to lose some weight before her wedding, about a fitness professional I follow on YouTube who posts workouts and meal plans for free to help people. There is a customer next to me who is being helped by my coworker.)
Customer #2 : *to me and [Customer #1 ]* “Are you calling her fat?”
Me: *startled* “No, I am not. We’re just talking about fitness and—”
Customer #2 : “You should love your body. Don’t go telling her to change it to fit YOUR standards!”
Me: “I’m not telling her to—”
Customer #2 : *to [Customer #1 ]* “Don’t you love yourself?”
Customer #1 : “I do; I do. I just want to lose five pounds before my wedding.”
Customer #2 : “No! That’s the media talking! You’re being brainwashed.”
Customer: “No, it’s my doctor talking. I’m all for body positivity but a health professional is telling me to lose weight.”
Customer #2 : “When you die from diabetes, don’t come looking for help then!”
Customer #1 : “I couldn’t because I’d be hypothetically dead.”
(Customer #2 sputtered and walked out without her change.)
(Since it’s nearing the Christmas season, we are currently doing donations for a cancer foundation. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer earlier this year.)
Me: “Your total is $[total]. Would you like to donate a dollar to [Cancer Foundation] today?”
Customer: “No, I would not.”
Me: “Okay, no problem.” *hits ‘no’ to proceed to payment screen and am about to tell the customer she can swipe her card*
Customer: “I won’t donate because there’s already a cure for cancer. It’s the biggest conspiracy out there.” *laughs*
(All I could do was just fake laugh, smile, and wish her a good day. If you don’t want to donate, just say no. That’s it!)
(A few years ago, I was with a friend at a local pharmacy. She was looking for water-based lubricant, but could find none on the shelf. I told her that she should ask the pharmacist, since they would know if they stocked the item, and if not they could call other stores to find out. She expressed nervousness that the pharmacist would judge her, and I assured her that it would be entirely unprofessional to do such a thing, but that if it bothered her I would go and ask in her stead. After waiting in line the following exchanged took place.)
Me: “Hello, could you tell me if this, or one of your affiliated stores, carries water-based lubricant?”
Young Pharmacist: “What?”
Me: “Water-based lubricant.”
Young Pharmacist: *looks uneasy* “Why do you need it?”
Me: *confused at the question* “Personal use.”
Young Pharmacist: *becoming irritated* “I need to know exactly what you plan to do with it!”
Me: “Why?”
Young Pharmacist: *suddenly looking upset* “Because it is a controlled substance!”
Me: *thinks he is joking* “No, it’s not.”
Young Pharmacist: *more upset* “Yes, it is!”
Me: *now getting irritated at this very unprofessional behavior* “No! It’s not!”
Young Pharmacist: *now irate* “Yes, it is, and unless you tell me what you plan to do with it I will not sell it to you!”
Me: *now very irate* “For f******!”
Young Pharmacist: *now suddenly pale and uneasy looking* “What?”
Me: *still upset* “For f******! Probably with sex toys involved as well! Anal and vaginal fucking! Now, do you have it or not?!”
Young Pharmacist: *looking very uncomfortable* “I’ll need to get my manager to approve that.” *runs to the backs and has a heated sounding conversation just out of earshot*
(At this point, an older woman who is clearly the head pharmacist comes up to the counter, looking clearly annoyed to be pulled away from whatever she was doing.)
Older Pharmacist: “Hello, I am the head pharmacist here. Would you explain to me what you need the controlled substance for?”
Me: “F******! Sex! Fornication! Probably involving sex toys since certain ones melt if you use the wrong personal lubricant.”
Older Pharmacist: *looking confused* “Personal lubricant is not a controlled substance…”
Me: “That’s what I told him!” *points to Younger Pharmacist* “But he refused to believe me, then demanded to know what I was using it for, then dragged you up here, and now here we are!”
Older Pharmacist: *looks at Younger Pharmacist* “Seriously? You seriously dragged me up here for this?” *turns to the computer* “What kind were you looking for?”
Me: “I need a water-based lubricant; nothing fancy. Do you or any other store in the chain close by carry it?”
(The older pharmacist types for a while, and the younger pharmacist looks uncomfortable.)
Older Pharmacist: “I’m not seeing anything; you probably have to get it online.”
Me: “Thank you very much for all of your help.”
(As I turn to walk back to my friend I hear this exchange between the Older and Younger Pharmacists.)
Older Pharmacist: “If you are going to work in this field you have to stop being this way about sexual and reproductive items or you will not last long.”
(I went back to my friend, informed them of the outcome, and we left. I am so happy that they dealt with me instead of her, as she would have left the pharmacy in tears with no answers.)
(I am at the pharmacy, picking up several medications. To pick up any medications, you have to give the address they have on file. Further, one of the medications is Schedule II, which means I need to have my ID. I pull out my ID and have it ready, waiting for the pharmacy tech to ask for it.)
Tech: “All right, your total is [price]. You can scan your card now!”
Me: *thinking they may have forgotten one of my medications* “Um… is my [controlled substance] in there?”
Tech: “Oh! Yeah, it is! I’ll need to see your ID.”
Me: *hands over the ID*
Tech: *finishes ringing me up, and starts handing me the bag, before pausing* “Oh, what’s your address?”
Me: “[Address].”
Tech: “All right, here you go!”
(As I left, I remembered I’m usually supposed to give my date of birth as well. Kinda takes the “controlled” out of controlled substances when I could’ve gotten it with nothing but a name… I’m just glad I caught it before the person got in big trouble.)
Awesome Customers, Canada, Ontario, Pharmacy, Toronto | Right | March 29, 2017
(I’m the customer in this one, calling into the store. I have worked in customer service for years and as such I tend to get a lot of “oh, thank heavens!” reactions from staff. This is one.)
Me: “Hi, I’d like to get a refill on [Medication].”
Pharmacist: *in trepidation* “Uhh… let me just check if we have your three-months’ refill.”
Me: “No worries.”
Pharmacist: *sounding even more worried* “Ma’am, I am so sorry, but it doesn’t appear we have the full supply. When do you need them by?”
Me: “I’m out as of tomorrow, but that’s no problem; it wouldn’t be the first time I get a week’s supply and come back for more when you have it.”
Pharmacist: “I can try calling another… Do you think… Wait, what? Really?”
Me: “Sure. Happens at least half the time. You only have a few customers on this medication and apparently we all like to refill at about the same time.”
Pharmacist: “And you’re not… You’re okay?”
Me: *laughing* “I’m not cranky-customer-type. My goal is never to be the one you go home complaining about!”
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, you are my favourite customer today. Possibly this month.”
(It’s already been a long day as I answer a patient’s phone call.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] pharmacy; how can I help you?”
Female Customer: “I want you to delete [medication] from my file! I don’t want it to ever be filled there again. I get my medications in the mail now, and I don’t want you to screw it up.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll leave it here in your profile but we won’t fill it. We will only fill it if you ask us to.”
Female Customer: “No, I want it deleted!”
Me: “Okay, I will delete it.”
(I don’t delete it because patients who get their medications in the mail always run into a problem sooner or later and need to get a few pills from us until their order arrives from the mail.)
Female Customer: “Great! Oh, and can you fill [supposedly deleted medication] for a few tablets? My mail order will be late this month.”
(I am helping a customer whose prescription for Cialis 20mg has expired. The customer only has Cialis 5mg still on file, which someone has filled for him instead of the 20mg.)
Me: “Were you wanting to wait until your doctor faxed back about the 20mg Cialis?”
Customer: “No, I’ll just pop four of the 5mg. Although I really want the 20mg ones since they do the work!”
Me: “Do you only take one of the 20mg Cialis?”
Customer: “OH, YA! Except if I’m at a crazy party, and then I pop a few.”
(I go to the pharmacy I have been going to for the last three years. I am on their computer system, which is listed by name and birthdate. My doctor’s office tells me to pick up my prescription. I usually don’t have any problems.)
Me: “Hello, I have a prescription for myself. My name is [First Name] [Last Name] and my birthday is January 20, 195X.”
Clerk: “Okay, what’s your name?”
Me: “[First Name] [Last Name].”
Clerk: “How do you spell your last name?”
Me: *spells last name*
Clerk: “Your birthdate?”
Me: “January 20, 195X.”
Clerk: “January 15, 195X?”
Me: “January 20.”
Clerk: “January 15?”
Me: “No, January 20.”
Clerk: “January 15?”
Me: “January 20. Two-Zero. Twenty.”
Clerk: “Oh, I keep on thinking you said fifteen. Okay, January 20, 2015?”
(I work in a dispensary (basically a pharmacy) and we’re only allowed to give out one month’s supply of medication at any given time. This isn’t by our choice; it’s a standard set by the board. One patient comes in to get her medication. I go and get her prescription and she pays when this happens
Patient: “Excuse me, this is only a month’s supply. The doctor told me I was on a three month course.”
Me: “Yes, that’s right. We’re only allowed to give out a month’s worth of medication at a time.”
Patient: “But the doctor told me I was on this for three months.”
(At this point, one of the older dispensers behind me chimes in.)
Colleague: “It’s a three month course, meaning that you’re on that medication for three months, but we can only give out one month at a time.”
Patient: “Can I speak to the doctor about this?”
Colleague: “You could but this isn’t a standard set by us. It’s a nation-wide standard.”
Patient: “So I have to come in once a month and pay?!”
Colleague: “Yes.”
Patient: “This is extortion! I would like a complaint form!”
(After about another five minutes of this back and forth, the patient finally went on her way. Do you know what our ‘extortionate’ price is for keeping people alive? £8.05.)
(A customer comes into the pharmacy and approaches the back desk.)
Pharmacist: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”
(The customer raises their hand and shows the pharmacist their hand, their thumb is blue and turning a dark colour.)
Customer: “Oh, hi. The other day I accidentally smacked my thumb with a hammer and it’s gone blue and I can’t feel anything… Should I go see a doctor?”
(A customer had called our store about a discrepancy with a price from her insurance. The pharmacist thinks he found the issue and is relaying the information to the customer.)
Pharmacist: “All right, cross your fingers and toes and hope that this works!”
(I didn’t think much of it and went back to my work. When he hangs up, he starts laughing.)
Me: “What’s up?”
Pharmacist: “You know the customer I was on the phone with? Mrs. [Name]?”
Me: “Yeah?”
Pharmacist: “I told her to cross her fingers and toes that her insurance would work.”
Me: “What about it?”
Pharmacist: “I just remembered she doesn’t have legs
Customer: “I have a question about the dry shampoo. It says here on the can that it’s flammable. Does that mean if I spray too much on my hair and go out in the sun my hair will catch fire?”
(Speechless, not sure if she was joking, I quickly reassured her that the flammable message was about leaving the actual can near heat, and her hair wouldn’t catch fire when she went out into the sun.)
(I’m waiting in line at the pharmacy; there’s one other gentleman in front of me, and then a fairly stereotypical “little old lady” up at the counter. I try not to judge, but…)
Lady: “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”
Pharmacist: “I just need you to give me your birth date for the system.”
Lady: “But those are my pills.”
Pharmacist: “I know, but I need to be able to type your birth date into the computer.”
Lady: “I don’t understand. I gave you my name.”
Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am, but I need both your name AND your birth date.”
Lady: “Do I look like I’m too young to get pills?”
Pharmacist: “It’s not how old you are, ma’am. We just need the confirmation so we don’t give the wrong pills to the wrong person.”
Lady: “But they’re MY pills.”
Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am. Please, just tell me the month and day you were born on…”
(This goes in a loop for about seven minutes, with the line getting longer and longer. Finally she relents and gives her birthdate… And takes another ten minutes trying to sort out how to use the credit card reader, refusing to let either the pharmacist or anyone else help her. Finally, she gets done, shuffles away, and the gentleman in front of me is called up.)
Man: “I’m picking up for [Man], my birthday is [Date], my phone number is [Number], my address is [Address], my first born’s name is [Son], and you can HAVE him if it speeds this up!”
(The rest of us, including the pharmacist, burst out laughing!)
(It’s Christmas Day, and I work at a pharmacy retail store that is part of a very large chain. We are a 24 hour store, and we don’t close on Christmas, so we’re usually the only place open. Christmas Day sales are mostly batteries and last minute gift cards, and there’s been a steady stream of customers all morning. During a lull, an older woman walks in.)
Woman: “Hello! I would like to purchase six [Store] gift cards, each one for $10.”
Me: “Okay!”
(I grab the gift cards from next to the till, and count them quickly to make sure I have the right amount.)
Woman: “Now, should I make this out to [Store]?”
(At this point, I realize that she’s writing a check, which my register won’t let me accept as payment for gift cards, so I speak up.)
Me: “Oh, unfortunately, I can’t take a check.”
Woman: “Excuse me?”
Me: “Yeah, sorry, it’s a store policy. [Chain Store #1 ] and [Chain Store #2 ] don’t either. I can take cash, credit, or debit, but that’s it.”
Woman: “Well, I don’t have a debit card, and I don’t have any cash!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t accept a check.”
Woman: “You, young man, have just ruined Christmas!”
(I told my manager about what the customer said, and was known as “The Grinch” for the rest of the holiday season!)
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