During my freshman year in high school, my science teacher assigned us to interview people in the community about how they use science in their careers. Although I don’t remember most of the people I spoke with, I can tell you that I spent meaningful time with a local community pharmacist who changed my life.
What I saw was a man who loved his career and truly cared for his patients. In an instant, I knew that I wanted to become a pharmacist, and I never wavered from that goal throughout high school.
Knowing what you want to be when you grow up at age 14 is unusual, but it is very liberating. I simply had to work backwards to figure out how to achieve my goal of becoming a pharmacist.
After high school, I chose to attend Ohio Northern University (ONU) because it had a unique pharmacy program. Rather than attending college for 2 years and then applying to the pharmacy program, ONU students were admitted to the College of Pharmacy from day one.
Although it was expensive, being in pharmacy school from day one and avoiding the risk of rejection made it worthwhile for me.
In college, I spent a lot of time in the library. Although the classwork was difficult, I did well with one exception: organic chemistry.
I did fail organic chemistry—a notorious “weed out” course—but I successfully retook the class over the summer and graduated on time with the rest of my classmates. Failing a course is a difficult stumbling block, but I stood strong and persevered.
Today, I’m thankful for the wonderful pharmacy profession for so many reasons.
First, I’m thankful that community pharmacists are the health care professionals most accessible to the public. If my local pharmacist wasn’t accessible to me, then I likely would have taken a different career path.
Second, I’m proud of the work we pharmacists do, the diversity of our career options, and the relationships we share with our patients and fellow health care providers.
Pharmacy is a profession that makes a real difference in people’s lives. It certainly has made all the difference in mine.
It Needs To Be A Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Before It’s Official
Extra Stupid, Flirting, Harassment, Hungary, School, Schoolmates, Strangers | Romantic | January 12, 2019
(I have glasses, and sometimes when they get dirty I close one of my eyes and look to see if it’s that side of the glasses or the other that’s dirty. I am walking to class and I see some blurriness, so I do the thing I mentioned. I close one of my eyes and look. Then I notice a boy looking funny at me. I brush it off because not everyone does what I do. It is later that day when I am waiting in the hall and browsing NotAlwaysRight. The same guy I saw sits down next to me and starts to lean in and play bad music on his speaker. I just keep sitting there, still reading.)
Guy: “Soooo… a couple of hours ago…”
Me: *looks up and waits for him to continue*
Guy: *raises eyebrow*
Me: *still waiting*
Guy: *starts to lean in, probably for a kiss*
Me: “Uh. You okay?”
Guy: “Yeah? Why? You scared?”
Me: “No, just confused.”
Guy: “What’s confusing? You were winking at me just a while ago!”
Me: “…” *remembers this is the same dude as before* “Sorry, I was just looking through my glasses.”
Guy: “Yeah, right.” *stands up and starts to leave*
Me: “Well… good luck to the next girl you want to randomly kiss in the hall.”
Guy: *looks at me surprised and hurries away*
(Peeps, if you think someone is winking at you, that doesn’t mean you can just kiss ’em.)
home, New York, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA | Romantic | January 11, 2019
(I am a fairly large-chested woman. My husband and I are medieval re-enactors, discussing the type of costumes I’d like him to make for me. We’ve settled on a style of men’s clothing that includes a codpiece.)
Husband: “I promise I won’t go overboard on the codpiece.”
Me: “Thank you. I’d like to enter the room at the same time as it does.”
Husband: *indicating my chest* “Just so you know, that gives me a lot of leeways.”
Chicago, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Illinois, Police, Police Station, Spouses & Partners, USA | Friendly Legal Romantic | January 10, 2019
(My cousin is a very masculine, straight-acting police officer. The following exchange takes place in his precinct.)
Officer: “God, my wife is driving me nuts. Women, huh? Doesn’t your wife just make you crazy sometimes?”
Cousin: “I don’t have a wife.”
Officer: “Ah, sorry, I saw the ring. Divorced, huh?”
Cousin: “No.”
Officer: “Oh. Widowed?”
Cousin: “No, I’m definitely still married.”
Officer: *now very confused* “So, you do have a wife?”
Cousin: *starting to snicker at the routine* “No.”
Officer: *as several other cops within earshot also start to crack up* “I don’t understand.”
Sergeant: *yelling in exasperation* “He’s married to a man and therefore has a husband! Jesus Christ, [Officer], how do you expect to make detective with those deductive reasoning skills?”
Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Extra Stupid, Grocery Store, Oklahoma, USA | Romantic | January 10, 2019
(My boyfriend has taken a liking to a European candy that randomly showed up in our local grocery store, but once they run out of the first shipment they never seem to restock. We find the same candy at another branch of the store, but the packaging seems much smaller than the ones we got before.)
Boyfriend: “Huh, these only come in fours; the ones we got before were in eights.”
Me: “Maybe we accidentally had two stuck together last time and didn’t realize.”
Boyfriend: “That couldn’t be it. The alarms would have gone off, then, wouldn’t they?”
Me: *looking at him quizzically* “Huh?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah, if you don’t scan the barcode, then the alarms by the doors will detect it and go off, right?”
Me: *fighting down laughter* “That… that’s not… those sensors detect the electronic tags they put on expensive items, not barcodes!”
Boyfriend: “What?”
Me: *still trying not to laugh* “How would it detect a barcode through your bags? Even the checkouts can’t do that!”
Boyfriend: “So… Wait, what keeps people from stealing the stuff without tags?!”
Me: “Cameras and common decency!”
(I swear my boyfriend is normally very smart, but I was reminded very strongly that day that he has never in his life worked retail.)
Boston, Extra Stupid, Geography, home, Massachusetts, Spouses & Partners, USA | Romantic | January 9, 2019
(When my wife and I are still dating, we usually stop by her parents’ place when we finish working on Fridays. On this particular Friday, we are going to have a barbecue. However, before we get there, my future father-in-law, who is doing the cooking, desperately needs the bathroom. Given that his wife is busy working on dessert and his other daughter is fast asleep, he trusts his son to man the grill while he runs in to do his business. This is his son who, despite pushing 30, has never cooked anything without a microwave. By the time we walk in the door, the whole meal is charcoal.)
Wife: “How about we just get some sandwiches from [Irish Name]’s?”
(We all agree and write down our orders.)
Wife: “I’ll help them clean up. Why don’t you go get the sandwiches? Follow [Her Street] to [Major Street]. [Irish Name]’s is right on the corner there.”
(Off I walk. When I get to the intersection, I am directly in front of a barbershop. Across [Her Street] from the barbershop is a Western Union. Across [Major Street] from the barbershop is a gas station and body shop. Across [Major Street] from the Western Union is a condominium. There’s not one place called [Irish Name]’s. Without a clue, a pop into the barbershop to ask if any of them know of [Irish Name]’s. The two barbers have never heard of any such place. I know I didn’t mishear which street I’m supposed to stop at. Even if I did, following her street the other way to the next major street would take me to a church, a cemetery, and two private houses. So, I walk up this street until I get to the next intersection. There’s a mini-mart — no sandwiches — an apartment building, a florist, and a dentist. I walk back the other way. A bakery — no sandwiches — a Chinese restaurant, a cab depot, and a realtor. Out of ideas and having wasted a fair bit of time, I walk back to her parents’ house.)
Wife: “Where have you been? And where are the sandwiches?”
Me: “Where am I going?”
Wife: “[Irish Name]’s!”
Me: “Where is it?”
Wife: “ON THE CORNER!”
Me: “There is no [Irish Name]’s on any corner.”
Wife: “Of course there is! I got my lunch there just last week!”
Me: “Well, the barbers down the corner said they’ve never heard of it. How about you show me where?”
(The two of us walk back down to [Major Street]. She leads me across towards the gas station… and then continues walking past it.)
Me: *pointing behind us* “You said it was on this corner.”
Wife: “It is!”
(She walks into the building directly behind the gas station.)
Me: “This isn’t the corner. The gas station is on the corner.”
Wife: “Gas stations don’t count. This is the corner.”
(Unwilling to continue this discussion, I just roll my eyes. As I do, I glance at the name of the place we’ve walked into.)
Me: “This also isn’t [Irish Name]’s. This is [Italian Name with a completely different starting letter and more syllables]’s.”
Wife: “This place is always being sold and renamed. We don’t bother following. It was [Irish Name]’s when we first moved here, so we just call it [Irish Name]’s.”
Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Games, home, Language & Words, Pennsylvania, USA | Romantic | January 8, 2019
(My boyfriend and I are playing a video game where you can get hit with electricity that either shocks or stuns you. We’re playing on two different monitors. He gets hit.)
Boyfriend: “Oh, no, I’m stunned.”
(About five minutes later, I hear
Boyfriend: “Now I’m shocked.”
Me: *not able to help myself* “What’s next? You’re going to be appalled?”
Harassment, home, Phone, Strangers, Tennessee, USA | Romantic | January 7, 2019
(It’s very late at night, and I am sound asleep when my phone rings.)
Me: *groggily* “H’lo?”
Voice: “[Not My Name]? [Not My Name], it’s Bob.”
Me: “Bob?”
Voice: “Yes. I need to know how you feel about me.”
Me: “What?”
Voice: “Look. I’ve been in love with you for years, and I need to know if you feel the same way.”
Me: “Who is this?”
Voice: *impatiently* “It’s Bob; you know me!”
Me: “It’s 2:30 in the morning. I don’t know who you are, and if you were in love with me, then you’d know better than to call me at this hour.”
Voice: “Look! I just—“
Me: “If you want to talk to me about this, find me and talk to me about it in broad daylight. I don’t love anybody right now. I’m tired. Goodbye.”
(I hung up and went back to sleep. I never got another phone call from the mysterious Bob, and no one ever confessed their hitherto unknown love for me. Seriously, though, there is no confession of love that can’t wait until at least sunrise.)
Bizarre, Harassment, New Zealand, Non-Dialogue, Park, Strangers | Romantic | January 6, 2019
This happens when I am a single 24-year-old. I am walking home through my local park around nine pm — so wickedly late! — when a girl comes up to me. She’s young, maybe 16 or so, and she tells me she’s been sent over by her friend sitting at the picnic tables to ask me for my number. Apparently, her male friend is too shy to ask me himself.
While this might be considered cute to some, I have literally never seen this boy in my life before. I find it stupid and creepy. But then, I have an idea. While I have no interest in the boy, I am curious about his tactics. I let the girl take my number, and she gives me hers as well as his, so I have some back up that he’s “not a creep or anything.”
About an hour later the young man texts me. Nothing spectacular, but with traditional w1ck3d l33t txt sp33k, with no sense of grammar or spelling, asking me about maybe a date. I text back with proper spelling, capitalization, and grammar — as a hint — to suggest that I don’t know him at all, and point out that asking some stranger for their number in the middle of the night is not the smartest thing to do.
Two more rounds of text ensue; he seems puzzled by my lack of interest. Finally, I drop my kicker.
“You don’t know me at all. I’m just some stranger from the park. For all you know, I could be a psychotic ax-murderer.”
Strangely, he never texted me again after that.
I always wonder if he got the hint about harassing strange women, or if he went around freaked out that he might have just gotten himself put onto a hit list.
Bad Behavior, Canada, Exes/Old Flames, Fights/Breakups, home | Romantic | January 4, 2019
(Things my soon-to-be-ex told me, in reference to his five-plus-year affair, and my sarcastic responses…)
Scumbag: “No, I wasn’t planning to divorce you so I could marry her. Of course not! I was doing it for you, in case you might want to marry again.”
Me: “Wow! With that level of selfless concern for others, the only reason you haven’t been canonized is that you’re not Catholic.”
Scumbag: “She was really more of a friend than anything else. We were just best friends at work.”
Me: “Oh, I see. So, I guess you also f*** Joe, your non-work best friend?”
Scumbag: “I preferred her because we never had conflict. She was more accepting.”
Me: “Imagine that. One boozy, lying cheater is more accepting of another boozy, lying cheater’s boozing, lying, cheating ways? Who’d’ve thunk it? You mean to tell me there’s no conflict in a relationship when you do everything a woman asks of you and constantly kiss her a**? You think maybe you should have tried that with me instead of being a selfish asshole for our entire marriage? Hmm?”
Scumbag: “I know I cheated but I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
Me: “Oh, you wanted to divorce me to be with her but still have me in your life. So, you figured we’d do what, have threeways?”
Scumbag: “I do still love you, in my way.”
Me: “Aw, so sweet. It’s just a shame your way totally sucks, isn’t it?”
I Used To Be A Weird Husband, But Then I Took An Arrow To The Knee
Bizarre, Games, home, Pennsylvania, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA | Romantic | January 3, 2019
(My husband is not a gamer, but he really likes watching me use my PlayStation because he enjoys my adventures. It should be noted that in “Dragon Age: Origins,” my character is married to Alistair, who looks and acts a bit like my husband. Currently, I’m playing “Skyrim.” My Dragonborn is married to Farkas, a sweet-natured but somewhat dim hunk of muscle who looks kind of like the Winter Soldier, and I’m walking around our house because I can’t find him.)
Me: “That’s weird; he’s usually right here at the fire, cooking. Or sometimes he’s asleep in the bed.”
Husband: “Maybe he ran off with your housecarl.”
Me: “I don’t think he’s smart enough to come up with that.”
(I finally try the last possible room, which is where my alchemy table is located, and I just have to stop and stare. A glitch has Farkas sitting down INSIDE the alchemy table, so that his head and shoulders are protruding from the top.)
Farkas: “Yes, love?”
Husband: *after a pause* “This is weirder than anything Alistair’s ever done, and I didn’t know that was possible.”
Me: “What I hear you saying is that I have weird taste in husbands.”
Florida, Harassment, Mall, Strangers, Tampa, USA |
Romantic | January 30, 2019
(I am sitting by myself on a bench in the local mall, waiting for my husband who has run to the bathroom. I happen to have long hair with streaks of teal in it. I’m replying to some work emails on my phone, not looking around at anyone, when a guy comes up to me.)
Guy: “I just had to tell you…”
Me: *confused, startled look*
Guy: *in what is probably an overly passionate tone for an eight-dollar box-dye job* “Your hair looks like a cascade of peacock feathers trailing down your shoulders.”
Me: *really taken aback by his earnestness, but honestly appreciating the compliment* “Oh. Um. Thanks!”
Guy: “So, I was thinking—“
(At that point, my husband walks up to me.)
Husband: “Okay, honey. Where are we getting lunch?”
(The guy looks at my husband, who is only just noticing him and gives him a polite, inquisitive smile. Then, the guy gives me a positively acidic look.)
Guy: “Okay, TEASE!” *turns and storms off*
(It was confusing, but mostly funny. Sorry my teasing, come-hither cascade of peacock hair lead you on or whatever, my dude. Hope you chill out some and grow up.)
Florida, Great Stuff, home, In-Laws, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA, Weather | Related Romantic | January 30, 2019
(My sister-in-law went through a string of abusive relationships before meeting my brother, but my brother is very good to her. They are on vacation when we get word that a massive hurricane is headed for their home. I’m already planning to evacuate, but they call me and ask me to go to their home and get some of their most important possessions — legal docs, computers, etc. — and I agree. I’m on the phone with them while I’m packing up their stuff.)
Sister-In-Law: “By the way, there’s something important I need you to get, but you’ll have to search for it.”
Me: “Okay. What am I looking for?”
Sister-In-Law: “In our walk-in closet, in my sock drawer, there is a pair of purple socks. Can you go find them?”
Me: *wondering why she is having me grab socks, of all things* “Sure… Okay, I got ’em.”
Sister-In-Law: “Great. You should feel something inside. Can you open up the sock and get it out?”
(I do so. I find hundreds of dollars wrapped in a tight bundle.)
Me: “Jesus. Must be a thousand dollars here.”
Sister-In-Law: “Yeah, that’s my ‘running away’ money, in case things with [Brother] don’t work out.”
My Brother: *who has been married to her for seven years and has heard this entire conversation* “Oh, that’s a good idea. Too bad you’ll need a new hiding place when we get back.”
Florida, Great Stuff, home, In-Laws, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA, Weather | Related Romantic | January 30, 2019
(My sister-in-law went through a string of abusive relationships before meeting my brother, but my brother is very good to her. They are on vacation when we get word that a massive hurricane is headed for their home. I’m already planning to evacuate, but they call me and ask me to go to their home and get some of their most important possessions — legal docs, computers, etc. — and I agree. I’m on the phone with them while I’m packing up their stuff.)
Sister-In-Law: “By the way, there’s something important I need you to get, but you’ll have to search for it.”
Me: “Okay. What am I looking for?”
Sister-In-Law: “In our walk-in closet, in my sock drawer, there is a pair of purple socks. Can you go find them?”
Me: *wondering why she is having me grab socks, of all things* “Sure… Okay, I got ’em.”
Sister-In-Law: “Great. You should feel something inside. Can you open up the sock and get it out?”
(I do so. I find hundreds of dollars wrapped in a tight bundle.)
Me: “Jesus. Must be a thousand dollars here.”
Sister-In-Law: “Yeah, that’s my ‘running away’ money, in case things with [Brother] don’t work out.”
My Brother: *who has been married to her for seven years and has heard this entire conversation* “Oh, that’s a good idea. Too bad you’ll need a new hiding place when we get back.”
Bad Behavior, Georgia, Harassment, Hotel, USA | Romantic | January 29, 2019
(I’m the front desk clerk for one of many hotels around the Atlanta Football Stadium. This happened last year during football season.)
Guest’s Friend: “Um, my friend wanted me to ask for a pen and paper.”
(I find both his behavior and his mention of his friend asking him to do this a bit odd. He looks like he feels extremely awkward about having to talk to me, and what happens shortly after explains why. He walks off after awkwardly thanking me and goes around the corner out of sight. I can hear two to four guys whispering, one of them chuckling and sounding a bit excited. The guy comes back.)
Guest’s Friend: *even more awkwardly before* “Umm, uh… just… Here, he wanted me to give you this.”
(He attempts to hand me a folded piece of paper and I realize it must be a phone number. I’m slightly shocked, because I don’t think of myself as that attractive, and I don’t expect such events like this to happen. Not wanting to put his friend in any more awkwardness, and wanting to just let him be on his way, I accept the paper from him and simply say, “Thanks,” also feeling a bit awkward, and let him return to his friends. I can hear them all whispering again, and the one voice from before sounds even more excited now. Soon after, the group of them comes out from around the corner to head out, and the guy in the back turns around and walks backward among the group, looking at me. They all look to be in their late teens; I’m 30.)
Creepy Guy: “I’ll hear from you later, right?”
(He does a double finger-gun motion and winks at me.)
Me: “Um…”
Creepy Guy: “Night, my sweet thang.”
(Just before the automatic doors close I hear him tell his friends in a slightly raised, happy voice
Creepy Guy: “I hope she calls me tonight! Ah, man!”
(I think nothing of it at first until they return after a couple of hours.)
Creepy Guy: “I’ll be up for a few more hours, cutie. Don’t worry about waking me when you call.” *winks again before going to their room*
(I feel bad for the guy because I can tell he’s all excited by the simple fact that I blindly took his phone number without having any clue who the number was from other than the guy’s “friend.” Not wanting this guy to get overly excited for nothing, or stay up waiting for my call, I decide to wait a few minutes before texting the number given to me to give him the bad news.)
Me: “Hey. It’s the lady from the front desk. I’m sorry, but I’m dating someone. I didn’t mean to get you all excited before; I just didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends earlier. I’m really sorry. I was just trying to be polite during that situation.”
Creepy Guy: “Aww, really? That’s too bad. I’d love to get with you sometime. Can’t you ask?”
Me: “Ask? Umm, what do you mean?”
Creepy Guy: “Ask him if I can take you on a date!”
Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not going to happen. We’ve been dating for four years and have been living together for two. We are pretty happy with each other and don’t have any interest in sharing each other with others.”
Creepy Guy: “Aww, come on now. I can keep a secret; I won’t tell if you won’t tell!”
Me: “Um, sorry. No, I have to pass on that. Besides, I’m probably out of your age group for dating.”
Creepy Guy: “We can make it work. I don’t even live in the area, but I come out here for all the games in town, so we can go on dates often and see where things can go after. If the distance is an issue, I live just inside Alabama, so it’s not that bad of a drive if you want me over. I promise you’ll like me.”
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I’m happy with my boyfriend. I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your night, but I really was just trying to be nice in front of your friends.”
(I’m thinking to myself, “Not like I could just leave if they did return; I have to act nice and polite to all guests as part of my job,” and I’m mentally kicking myself in the head for getting into this new situation.)
Creepy Guy: “Well, I’m fine. I know you’ll turn yourself around and decide to date me. I’m a great guy!”
Me: “I’m sure you are, but so is my boyfriend, who I love very much. I’m happy where I am now.”
Creepy Guy: “Can I come down and talk to you for a while?”
(I am thinking, “Oh, God, no, please don’t.”)
Me: “Oh, well my coworker has taken over my shift. I’ve already left for home.”
(I’m still at work, with another hour before my coworker arrives, but I’m hoping he doesn’t figure out I’m bluffing.)
Creepy Guy: “Well, you’re more than welcome to come back and ask for a key to my room and come see me.”
Me: “No, thanks. I’ll be eating dinner with my boyfriend shortly. Have a good night, and I hope things work out for you. I’m sure you’ll find someone out there to date.”
(I continue with my shift. I jump almost every time I hear the elevator being called up or someone coming down the stairs. and I hide in the side office of the front desk, hoping that if it’s him, he doesn’t see me and realize I’m still there and try to change my mind again. Luckily, my coworker arrives, I explain to him how happy I am to see him. I tell him of the events that took place, and the text messages. He chuckles and tells me to go ahead and leave instead of doing our usual long, friendly chats before I head home. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of the tale for this guy. A few days later, via text.)
Creepy Guy: “Hey! You never called! Did your boyfriend say yes?”
Me: “Who is this?”
(I had the old messages deleted.)
Creepy Guy: “Oh, come on. It’s me! The guy from the hotel.”
Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I thought I explained it to you before; both my boyfriend and I aren’t interested in dating other people, only each other.”
Creepy Guy: “You know you want to… Are you working now? I could come over and take you to dinner when you get off! When does your shift end?”
Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not sure how many times, or how many different ways I can tell you this. But I will not be dating you, or seeing you.”
Creepy Guy: “I’m a nice guy! Give a nice guy a chance! Nobody ever gives us a chance.”
Me: “You aren’t very nice if you think it’s okay for me to see someone else while living with and dating my boyfriend. I’m sorry, but this is a firm no. Please stop messaging me; my choice won’t change.”
Creepy Guy: “I bet I could treat you better than he does.”
(I block him at this point cause I’m no longer feeling up to being polite toward him anymore. Sadly, yet again, this still isn’t the end of it. Several weeks later, I’m working at the front desk again. I’m just now finishing a check-in for a new guest, and the creepy guy walks in and stands next to the new guest, just short from actually touching shoulders with them. The guest gives him an odd look and takes one step to the side, so they aren’t so close. I hand the guest his keys, making sure to keep the room number hidden, and send him on his way.)
Creepy Guy: “Hey, you never called me back! I’ve been trying to text you. Did something happen to your phone? Was that your boyfriend? Could I ask him for us? I really want to take you out some time.”
(I’m now hating life, knowing I have to at least attempt to be nice to him while working, and other guests and sitting in the lobby chatting to each other.)
Me: “No, that was just a guest. Again, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in dating you. I’m very happy with my current boyfriend of four years.”
Creepy Guy: “Aww, come on! I like you. I’m a good looking guy. I’m nice! I swear, just give me a chance.”
(As he’s saying this, another guest and her husband are walking past to go out for dinner. She overhears him and has no clue I have just told him I’m dating someone already and that this guy is basically begging me to cheat.)
Female Guest: “Aww, look at the poor guy. Give him a chance; he seems to be a nice guy.” *continues to walk out of the hotel*
Creepy Guy: “See? Now you have to go on a date with me!”
Me: “I don’t have to do anything. Please, I’m working. I’ve already told you no many times. Please just go.”
(Of course, he doesn’t leave. He spends the next hour trying to talk me into dating him. He hardly moves out of other people’s way when I go to check them in, and occasionally interrupts them to talk to me as if we are friends. Eventually, the other guests in the lobby decide to leave, but they never speak up to him to try and encourage him to leave me alone, despite sending glances our way. Creepy Guy notices this and takes advantage now that we are alone.)
Creepy Guy: *trying to act all sad to gain my sympathy* ” Aww… I really wanted to see you. I was in town for another game and, well… it’s my birthday. I was really hoping I could get a birthday kiss from you, you know, since it’s my birthday and all.”
Me: “Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you’re entitled to get a kiss from me or anyone else. I. Am. Taken. There won’t be anything going on between you and me.
Creepy Guy: “Why not? Friends hug! It can be a friendly hug.”
Me: “One: I’m taken. Two: we aren’t friends; I don’t know anything about you. Three: I’m working. I can’t do anything like that, anyway. I have to be doing my job.”
Creepy Guy: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell! Just give me a kiss; it’s for my birthday!”
Me: “It could be the end of the world tomorrow, and you still won’t be getting either from me.”
Creepy Guy: “I bet I could jump over this counter. I just really want a kiss from you. Can’t I just have one kiss?”
Me: “Please don’t do that. I have cameras there, there, there, there, and there.” *points to every single camera we can both see, in hopes this will make him leave me alone, or at least prevent him from trying to jump over my counter* “My boss watches us from time to time, and she’ll glance over them to make sure we aren’t doing anything we aren’t supposed to. You can’t jump over this counter. Just don’t.”
Creepy Guy: “We could go over into that room next to you there!”
Me: “I’ve said no several times already; that should be the end of the conversation. Plus, there is a camera watching over the door that leads to that room, and a camera inside of the room itself. Please don’t make attempts to get to me.”
Creepy Guy: “Just go turn off the light, and I’ll be super fast and run in and hope she doesn’t see me go in, and then we can kiss in there!”
Me: “The cameras have night vision. Not that it matters — I’ve already told you no many, many times. Please leave me alone!”
(Of course, he doesn’t; he keeps switching between begging me for either a kiss, or a hug, and I keep refusing. He continues to barely give new arrivals room to stand at the desk to get checked in. After a few times of this happening, another guest arrives, and this time he decides to sidle over to the side of my desk where you can see most of what’s behind the counter-top, and he can see more than just my upper half.)
Creepy Guy: “Mmm, I love being able to see your curves. I just want to reach over and grab your a**.”
(He says this quietly, intending for only me to hear, but the new guest manages to hear him, too. I give the guest a look, trying to show that I’m not comfortable with this guy being around and finish his check-in. He hurriedly leaves and doesn’t make any attempts to save me from this creep. I sigh over my problems. I’m feeling very exposed now that this guy is checking out my a**, and I fail to find any way to mentally cover myself up, other than to face him so he can’t continue staring. Now he goes in circles about trying to get me to kiss him, hug him, or let him grab my a**, all because it’s his “birthday.” Eventually, I get the idea to text my boyfriend, asking him to rescue me and telling him to call the hotel, which he doesn’t notice right away. I text my coworker and tell him to call the hotel, but he’s sleeping and doesn’t see it until he wakes up in time to get ready for his overnight shift after I leave. Finally, the boyfriend sees my text and tries to ask why and I just text, “DO NOW PLZ,” so the guy doesn’t notice.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel, Location]. How can I help you?”
Boyfriend: “What’s going on? Why did you need me to call? Everything okay?”
Me: “OH, HEY, HONEY! Did you feed the cats when you got home?”
(The creepy guy can clearly hear me, and seems to sulk slightly when he realizes I’m talking to my boyfriend.)
Boyfriend: “Huh? What cats? Something going on?”
Me: “YES! It’s been a little busy today, but it’s quiet now that most of the guests have checked in. How was your day?”
Boyfriend: “I’m going to assume something is up. Are you in trouble or in any danger?”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
Boyfriend: “All right, so, whoever they are is still there?”
Me: “Yep, it’s been a long time, too.”
Boyfriend: “Well, that doesn’t sound fun. Do you need me to come over there?”
Me: “That would be nice, though I’m not sure if it will help much.”
Boyfriend: “Well, I can stay on the line for a bit and see if they go away? Do you think your boss will get upset at you if I keep you on the phone?”
Me: “That’s fine, I think; I’m sure she wouldn’t mind after I explain everything to her.”
Boyfriend: “Ah, okay. Just let me know if they leave, or you can just say a code if you think you want me to head over there. Just ask me if we can go see a movie tonight, and I’ll know to head right over.”
Me: “Aww, that’s great! So, how’s mom doing?”
(From there, we just have a normal conversation for a bit until the creep decides to finally leave.)
Me: “Oh, my God, thank you! That weird guy I told you about decided to return to the hotel and come at me full force! He kept claiming it was his birthday, and he was trying to get me to kiss or hug him for the longest time. Then he started checking out my a** and saying he was going to jump over the counter to grab my a** and kiss me! At one point, he made a motion like he was actually going to pull himself over the counter until other people came through the lobby.”
Boyfriend: “You going to be okay? Want me to come over until your shift is over and I can pretend that I’m your ride?”
Me: *looks at the time and realizes I’ve been dealing with the guy for over two hours of constant harassment* “Oh, wow. My shift is nearly over. I think I’ll be okay; if he comes back I’ll have you give me another call and we can pretend that you have no clue what we need from the house for groceries or something.”
(Luckily, he never returned, but every time the Alabama team played at our stadium I got worried he would return.)
England, Exes/Old Flames, home, UK | Romantic | January 28, 2019
My ex-husband was picking the kids up for his fortnightly weekend with them when he told me that he and his fiancée had broken up — right before Christmas. The problem with this was that her mum was already due to stay with them Christmas Eve so he had to share a bed with his now-ex, while her mum had the sofa.
He said he didn’t know how well he was going to sleep and he wasn’t looking forward to it. Without thinking I ‘joked’ that he’d managed to share a bed with me, knowing he was going to try and throw me out and survived. His face was a picture and a little part of me smiled inside.
Language & Words, Marriage & Partners, Parking Lot, USA, Utah | Romantic | January 27, 2019
(My husband and I took our nine-month-old daughter to the doctor’s for her booster flu shot. We drive into a spot that’s labeled “patron parking,” and my husband observes something to the effect of
Husband: “Yep, we’re allowed to park here.”
(I turn and get out of the car, while telling him
Me: “The label is probably for game days; the lot is rather close to the [Local College Stadium].”
(He gives me a funny look, and comes around to get the baby out of the car.)
Husband: “What did you say the label was for?”
Me: “Game days!”
Husband: *a massive look of relief rests on his face* “Oh, good. I thought you said they were for GANGBANGS.”
(I was laughing so hard that I barely made it to the building in a straight line.)
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