(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
California, Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Silly, USA | Healthy | February 22, 2018
(When I am 20, I trip over a log and twist my ankle. It never heals right, and for years I have pain every time I take a step, stood, or put any weight on my leg. When I am 25, I get medical insurance, and my doctor sends me to a specialist to look at my ankle. It’s December, and this my first meeting with the specialist. The doctor comes in and pulls out the MRI of my ankle. He looks at it and then looks over at me. Then, he looks back at the MRI, and then back at me, with a small crease forming between his eyebrows.)
Doctor: “How do you even walk?”
Me: “Painfully?”
Doctor: “Yeah, you would have been better off breaking your leg. There is a bunch of scar tissue wrapped around the tendons in your ankle, but the real problem is your ankle bone.”
Me: “What’s wrong with it?”
Doctor: “It’s pretty much no longer there.” *he shows me my MRI* “You see that spot on your ankle, the size of a quarter? That is the part of your ankle that is missing.”
Me: “Well… That seems… bad.”
Doctor: “Yeah, if you hit it hard enough, you could just shatter the entire thing.”
Me: “So, what are my options?”
Doctor: “We can either take bone from your hip and use it as a filler to fill the hole, or we can use cadaver bone. I recommend using cadaver bone so that we don’t further damage your skeleton. Unlike organs, we don’t need to really worry about rejection or shortage. Bones are good for up to five years after donation. “
Me: “Ooh, I can be part dead person?”
Doctor: “Yes, we can use cadaver bone.”
Me: “I want dead person!”
Doctor: “Cadaver bone.”
Me: “What is the difference between dead person and cadaver bone?”
(The doctor just looks at me for a minute and then starts to laugh.)
Doctor: “Nothing. Nothing is the difference.”
Me: “I’m going to be part zombie!”
(From then on, he called it dead person bone. I was scheduled to have the surgery at the end of January, but he called me the first week of January to tell me he had found me a fresh dead person to use, instead; apparently, it takes better. So, we moved up my surgery. It’s been eight years now, and I’m virtually pain-free thanks to a wonderful person and their family, who looked past a tragic time in their lives and thought to help others. I like to use my ankle to help start conversations on the importance of donation, and I have let my family know to please donate all parts of me that they can. I hope that one day I get to help someone be part zombie, too.)
Farm, Language & Words, Montana, Non-Dialogue | Healthy | February 22, 2018
My friend has talk-to-text and it is generally okay. Or at least, we’ve all become good at translating. One day we had a limping duck that had a swelling on her foot. Knowing it could be bumblefoot, which is possibly life-threatening even if treated aggressively and quickly, we took a picture of it and sent it to the vet with the following text…
Text: “Dr. [Vet], the following picture is our duck’s foot. We are concerned it might be bumble f***. Please advise treatment. We can get her to the office this afternoon, if needed.”
Arkansas, Hospital, Nurse, Silly, USA | Healthy | February 21, 2018
(My husband is admitted to the local Veterans Administration hospital for heart problems. After hours in the ER, he finally gets a bed on the ward. His nurse comes in to introduce himself, check my husband’s vitals, retake history, and so on.)
Nurse: “Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?”
Me: *knowing what’s coming, I silently plead* “Oh, no… Not again.”
Husband: “Yes. Two weeks vacation, a raise, some sanity, and winning lottery tickets, please.”
Nurse: *dryly* “Sorry, sir. You’ll have to see the Travel and Disbursement clerk for those.”
(My husband has been replying that to ANYONE who asks him if they can get him anything — waitstaff, clerks, medical personnel, etc. — for the entire 30 years I have known him. This is the first time I have heard a really good comeback
Jerk, Medical Office, New York, USA | Healthy | February 21, 2018
(I work for a small general practitioner’s office, running the front desk. On this particular day we are having a bad snow and ice storm, leading to a lot of accidents. One doctor calls in that she just isn’t coming in, and the other doctor decides that we will be closing early for the day. The following patient calls in. This is the middle of a very bad flu season, so we are swamped with sick patients.)
Patient: “Good morning. I was hoping to see the doctor today for a cold. It’s not bad but I want to make sure it’s not leading to anything.”
Me: “Unfortunately, we are closing early today because of the weather, but I can put you in tomorrow morning first thing.”
Patient: “What do you mean you’re closing early? I took off today because of the snow, and I decided to see a doctor. Well, fine. If you’re not going to see me, I’m going to an urgent care.”
Me: “That may be your best bet to be seen today, sir. If you would like to come in tomorrow, don’t hesitate to call us.”
Patient: “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t stay open for me.” *click*
Me: *looking out the window and hearing the radio reports of several large car accidents, to my coworker* “If he called out of work because of the bad weather, why would he expect us to risk our lives for his cold?”
Health & Body, Junior High School, Nurse, Pennsylvania, Revolting, Students, USA | Healthy | February 20, 2018
(Both the flu and a stomach bug have been going around my sister’s school and about a quarter of the population ends up sick. She ends up going to her nurse with the stomach bug after throwing up in the hallway, and my dad has just come to pick her up.)
Nurse: “Here’s a bag for the car ride home, in case you have to throw up again.”
(A random kid runs in from the hallway, grabs the bag from her hands, and throws up in it.)
Nurse: “Okay, I’ll get you another bag and throw this one away.”
(This repeated two more times with another student who was already in the nurse’s office and one of the history teachers, before my sister finally got her own bag to go home with. We’re all surprised they didn’t just quarantine the entire school at that point.)
Germany, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pets & Animals, Vet |
Healthy | February 19, 2018
(It’s a Saturday evening. We are at home trying to have a relaxed evening when our chinchilla starts having a seizure. She has had them before; her liver is severely damaged because of pain medication she was on some years before. Our vet told us that if she had a seizure again, we would have to put her to sleep. Because the cramps stopped after about an hour and a half the last time this happened, we decide to wait and hope she’ll get better soon. But after two hours pass and there is no foreseeable recovery, we decide with a heavy heart that this will be her last evening. Because we don’t feel too comfortable driving to a vet with a wriggling chinchilla in our hands, we start looking for an emergency vet who does home visits, to have her put to sleep. I find one and give the telephone number to my dad. He puts the phone on loudspeaker so we can help him explain.)
Vet: “[Vet].”
Dad: “[Dad] speaking. Good evening. We are having problems with our chinchilla. It is having—”
Dad: “They don’t offer emergency services anymore. Please, we just need to have it—”
Vet: *interrupting again* “Go and call [Animal Clinic]. Good night.” *hangs up*
(We just looked at each other in disbelief. Desperate to relieve our poor pet, we had no other choice but drive over 20 miles to a different vet that had emergency services, in the middle of the night, in a snowstorm, with a severely cramping chinchilla in our hands. To this day, I can’t believe that a vet, who explicitly offers emergency services on both his website and answering machine, refused to even listen to what we wanted.)
Chicago, Doctor/Physician, Illinois, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurse, USA | Healthy | February 18, 2018
(I am a college student. I have learned of a summertime job, as a “gopher” — office boy — with a local railroad. I arrive at the office where I receive initial training in my duties, and then I am given a piece of paper — ordering a pre-employment physical — that I am supposed to take to the railroad’s doctor’s office. Since I recently passed my college physical, I have no qualms about the pre-employment physical. I drive to the doctor’s office. I note that the waiting room is empty, and there seems to be nobody around.)
Me: “Hello, is anybody here?”
Nurse: *a few minutes later, while eating an apple* “The doctor is out having lunch. What do you need?”
Me: “I am here for a [Railroad] physical.”
Nurse: *chomps on apple* “Okay. I can start that. Sit in the exam chair, and read the eye chart on the wall.” *chomp*
Me: “Do you want me to do that with my glasses on or off?”
Nurse: *chomp, chomp, long pause* “Um, take your glasses off.”
Me: “Should I do this with both eyes open?”
Nurse: *chomp* “Um… Take this thing and cover your left eye.”
Me: “Okay… E.”
Nurse: “Can you read any more?”
Me: “No, I am near-sighted, but my distance vision is 20/20 or better with each eye with my glasses on.”
Nurse: *another long pause, throws away apple core* “I hear the doctor. You must see him now!”
(I then put my glasses on and walk out to the waiting room, where the doctor is apparently reading my physical report. The doctor takes out a pencil with red lead at one end and blue at the other…)
Doctor: “What color is this?” *making a red line on the back of my physical report*
Me: “Red.”
Doctor: “And what color is this?” *making a blue line on the same piece of paper*
Me: “Blue.”
Doctor: “Okay, you can go home now. The railroad will call you later.”
(A day goes by, and I get a call from the railroad.)
Railroad Guy: “Sorry, we can’t hire you.”
Me: “Why not?”
Railroad Guy: “You failed your physical. You can’t see well enough to work here.”
Me: “My vision is corrected to 20/20 in each eye, but the nurse never checked that.”
Railroad Guy: “Maybe so, but you could be hit by a train if your glasses fell off while you were crossing the tracks.”
(I guess I never was qualified to be “workin’ on the railroad,” but I got a better summer job soon after, and not all was lost.)
Bigotry, Hospital, Instant Karma, Nurse, USA | Healthy | February 17, 2018
(I work at a detention center, and we are holding two big-name KKK leaders. Both were on TV after their arrest, since they have supposedly attacked one of their own. One of them has to be taken to the hospital for something and he has two male officers escorting him. They are seen in the ER by a tiny nurse.)
Nurse: “Mister… [Inmate]?”
Inmate: “Yeah?”
Nurse: “I see one of your vaccines hasn’t been updated; did you want to take care of that?”
Inmate: “Yeah, why not? The state’s paying for it.”
(The nurse starts humming as she prepares the injection and then proceeds to clean a site on his leg.)
Nurse: “Ready?”
Inmate: “Go for it.”
(The nurse suddenly stabs the needle into his leg, making both the officers cringe in sympathy as the man howls.)
Nurse: “There we go! All done.”
Inmate: “What kind of nurse are you?”
Nurse: “A loving Christian woman who doesn’t judge one’s skin color.”
(It was then that the inmate realized she had seen his face on the six o’clock news.)
Doctor/Physician, Edinburgh, Hospital, Rude & Risque, Scotland, UK | Healthy | February 16, 2018
(I am about to have a vasectomy, under a local anaesthetic. The female surgeon and I having been making general chat, and she now approaches with the needle to inject me with the anaesthetic.)
Cape Town, Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, South Africa | Healthy | February 15, 2018
(I have just moved to a new area, and I decide to try out the local optometrist to get new contact lenses. I book the appointment, and the doctor asks me to come in with my current prescription and their respective casings. The day of the appointment, I wake up with the most horrible stomach pain, but I decide to suck it up and go to the appointment. The doctor is very cheerful and friendly. She asks if I’m currently wearing my lenses while she looks at my old prescription, and I tell her I am. A few minutes into my eye test, she sighs in wonder.)
Doctor: “I don’t understand why your previous doctor has you on such a high prescription! You should be on a -1, at most!”
(I’m quite taken aback, as my previous doctor in my hometown is one of the most acclaimed optometrists in the country, and I have been wearing -3 prescription lenses for over a year without any problems.)
Me: “That’s really weird. I’m blind as a bat without these lenses. Even when I started wearing glasses, I was at least a -2.”
Doctor: “You shouldn’t be able to read this chart at all with your eyes. I’m really not sure what’s going on here.”
Me: *pause* “You are aware I’m still wearing my lenses, right?”
Doctor: “…”
Me: “…”
(Turns out we were having such a nice chat that she’d completely forgotten to ask me to take them out, and I was so focused on my stomach pain that I hadn’t thought to ask. We had a good laugh about it, and the rest of the test went smoothly! She’s one of the nicest doctors I’ve been to in a long time, and she gave me a good chuckle on a bad Monday morning!)
Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Massachusetts, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | February 14, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist at a small, but very busy, chain store. I am working the register along with one of the technicians, due to us being understaffed.)
Me: “Hi! How are you doing today, ma’am?”
Customer: “Israel!”
Me: “Pardon?”
Customer: “Israel!”
(At the pharmacy register, in order to pick up a prescription, we must be provided with the first and last name, along with the date of birth.)
Me: “Is that your name, ma’am?”
Customer: “Israel!”
Me: *getting frustrated since there is a line behind her going up two aisles* “May I please have your name?”
Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel!”
Me: “Okay, thank you. May I please have your last name?”
Customer: “Israel!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I misunderstood. I thought your first name was Israel. Could I please have your first name, then?”
Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! What do you not understand? This is ridiculous! I demand to speak to the pharmacist!”
Me: *trying not to scream* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I am the pharmacist. I just need your first and last name in order to view your profile. Could you please give me your first name followed by your last?”
Customer: *she is now screaming at this point* “This is unbelievable!”
(She looks at the people in line behind her for support. They all give me a sympathetic look, instead.)
Customer: “From now on, I’m taking my business to [Other Retail Chain Pharmacy]!”
Me: “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Could I please have your first and last name, in order to speed up the transaction? We are quite busy today.”
Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! Israel [Last Name].”
(Now that I finally have her first and last name in the system, I am prompted with the screen that asks for the date of birth.)
Me: “Thank you, ma’am. And could I have your date of birth, please?”
Customer: “What kind of pharmacy is this?! What will you want next? My social security number?!”
Me: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.”
(By this time, the technician at the register next to me has gone through about three patients, while I am still with this lady.)
Customer: “My birthday is [date]!”
Me: “All right, thank you. It looks like we have three prescriptions ready for you. Let me go get those for you.” *I fetch the prescriptions and finish the transaction fairly normally* “All right, ma’am. Before you leave, do you have any questions about the medications?”
Customer: “Yes. I would like to speak to the pharmacist!”
Me: “I am the pharmacist, ma’am.”
Customer: “No, you’re not!”
Me: “I can assure you that I am, in fact, the pharmacist, ma’am.”
Customer: *all disgruntled* “Well… Well… I want to speak to the pharmacist who was here yesterday! Where is he?!”
Me: “That was our other pharmacist.”
Customer: “Well, I demand to speak to him! Go fetch him!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He isn’t here today.”
Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have nothing but trouble at this store!”
Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, ma’am. I can answer any questions that you have about the medication, though.”
Customer: “No! I’ll just die! No one can tell me how to take this medication! You don’t even have a pharmacist here! I’m going to die because of your incompetence!”
Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I am the pharmacist, and I would be more than happy to walk you through the proper way to take your medications. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow, too, and the other pharmacist will be here.”
Customer: “Fine! Show me, since you think I’m too stupid to take my own medications!”
Me: “I never said you were too stupid, ma’am.”
Customer: “Yes, you did! But whatever. Show me!”
(I instructed the lady on how to take her medications, and she finally walked away. Shortly after, the store manager came down to the pharmacy asking what happened. I asked what he was referring to and he stated that a lady was complaining that I “verbally and mentally abused her.”)
Hospital, Liars/Scammers, Nurse, Teenagers, USA | Healthy | February 13, 2018
(I am a medical lab scientist. I receive a urine sample from the ER to test only for drugs, marked as belonging to a fifteen-year-old boy. The sample is quite clear — if someone is really hydrated that can happen — and it’s cold. We usually receive urine still warm, but sometimes it sits while they decide if they want to test it for anything. It’s negative for all the street drugs we test for. I release the results and then, a bit later, I get a call from a nurse.)
Nurse: “Hi. I was just wondering about the drug screen for [Patient].”
Me: “Sure. What do you need?”
Nurse: “Well, it was cold when he gave it to me, and I just don’t quite believe it’s negative. Is there anything you could do to find out if it was water?”
(I think for a moment and come up with a few fast things that I could do to find out whether or not it is water.)
Me: “Yeah, let me grab it and try something.”
(I do a really quick test and come up with something you would not expect for pee.)
Me: “Either this kid is in very severe kidney failure, or this is water.”
Nurse: “Thank you. I just graduated and passed my boards, so I’m still learning knowledge-versus-wisdom. Now I know when I feel like the urine feels cold, I should do something about it.”
Me: “Did you want me to credit those charges?”
Nurse: “Yes. We will be recollecting. And there will be a male care tech going in that bathroom with him.”
Me: *laughing* “I would imagine.”
(Once I get off the phone, I do some more chemical testing and learn that this sample has none of the chemical properties of urine. This kid didn’t even think to try the one where you dilute your actual pee with water — which we can also catch — or even to just put WARM water in the cup. It was straight, cold, tap-water. I walk across the lab to tell this one to the other lab scientists, one of whom is known for being extremely cynical about everything.)
Cynical Coworker: “That nurse is way too nice. I’d catheterize the kid. Teach him to never do that one again.”
(We then started a prizeless pool, guessing what the kid was on that he was trying to hide. In the end, the actual urine arrived, and it was positive for marijuana.)
Bank, Emergency Services, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, USA, West Virginia | Healthy | February 12, 2018
I work as a bank teller. One morning a customer walks in, and I notice that he is both extremely pale and has a rasping cough as he approaches me to make a withdrawal. Just as I grab his money and begin to count it out in front of him, to my horror, he suddenly turns his head to the side, coughs violently, then begins to vomit a large amount of blood.
My coworkers quickly move to get the customer a chair to sit in as I call 911. During the commotion, an apparent acquaintance of the customer rushes in and helps hold him upright to walk him to the chair
Less than five minutes later, an ambulance arrives and takes the customer away. We learn the acquaintance is actually the customer’s neighbor. The customer had been feeling very unwell the last few days, and the neighbor had agreed to take him to the hospital, but he wanted to stop at the bank first to make sure he had some cash on hand if necessary. We block off my teller station and call in professional cleaners to come and clean up the potentially hazardous blood.
A few months later, I am working at my usual station again when I call for the next in line and suddenly realize I am talking to this same customer. I almost don’t recognize him, as he has much more color to his face and appears to have put on some necessary weight. He also recognizes me, and apologizes again for the incident. It turns out the pain he was experiencing was from his appendix, which actually ruptured as I was waiting on him. He says that the doctors have now given him a clean bill of health, and then he leaves, after jumping up and down a few times to show how much his health has improved.
Bizarre, Dentist, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, USA | Healthy | February 10, 2018
(I am at the dentist’s for a general cleaning, with a hygienist I haven’t been with before. Things are going normally until this happens.)
Hygienist: “Oh, wow. Wow. This is really unusual.”
Me: “Is… Is something wrong?”
Hygienist: “Let me get the dentist. I have never seen this before.”
(By now, I am panicking in the chair a little. The hygienist leaves, then comes back with the dentist, and they both look into my mouth.)
Hygienist: “Look at her uvula. Isn’t it a weird shape? I’ve never seen that before.”
Dentist: “It just has a bit of an indent in the middle.”
Hygienist: “Her uvula looks so weird. I’ve never seen that before.”
Dentist: “All right, [Hygienist], you can go now. I can finish up this cleaning.”
(The dentist told me it was nothing to worry about and barely noticeable, then finished the cleaning without issue. No dentist or hygienist had ever told me I had a weird uvula before.)
Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Military, USA | Healthy | February 9, 2018
(My military career has me outdoors most of the time, usually in very hot and sunny places. Several years later, I develop a rough patch on my face and am referred to a specialist who listens to my history and diagnoses a precancerous lesion. He recommends that it be removed right away, during this visit, and I agree. He leaves the exam room, and I overhear him giving instructions to the nurse.)
Nurse: “So, what kind of local do you want for her?”
Children, Medical Office, Missouri, Nurse, Siblings, St Louis, USA | Healthy | February 8, 2018
(My younger sister and brother are due to get their polio vaccinations. Despite being two years younger than her, my brother is several inches taller and 40 pounds heavier than our sister. But, as she’s older, she gets to go first.)
Mom: “She has a fear of shots, just to warn you.”
Nurse: “Oh, that’s no problem. I know nobody likes shots.” *turns to my sister* “Now, I’m just going to clean the skin on your leg for the shot.”
Sister: “It’s cold!”
Nurse: “Yes, it is. But it will warm up again in a minute. Now, you’re just going to feel a pinch…”
(My sister sees the needle and flips out, screaming, crying, and flailing. She even manages to kick the nurse in the face before my mom is able to hold her down.)
Nurse: *finally gets the shot in* “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know that hurt. I promise, if you relax, shots don’t hurt so much. Would you like a sucker?”
(My sister won’t stop crying; she’s in full panic mode.)
Me: “Mom, if you want, I can take [Brother] to another room and help him get his shot.”
Mom: *still trying to control my sister* “Please, do.”
(I gather up my hefty little brother and follow the nurse to the exam room next door.)
Nurse: “Go ahead and put him on the table, please.”
Me: “Sure thing. Here you go, buddy! You doing okay?”
Brother: “Yeah.” *with the implication of “why shouldn’t I be?”*
(The nurse looks him over, and then leaves without a word. A few minutes later, she comes back in with not one, but three orderlies, all strong-looking men, to hold my brother down. One orderly stands behind him and holds his arms around my brother’s arms and torso, while the other two each secure a leg.)
Me: “He’s not going to go crazy like [Sister] did. He’s our gentle giant, I swear.”
(The nurse ignores me, cleans his leg, and then counts to three for his shot.)
Brother: *frowns* “Ow.”
Nurse: *stunned* “Ow?”
Brother: “That hurt. Can I have a sucker, now?”
(He didn’t so much as twitch, and he accepted his treat with a smile. [Sister] was still crying a river, and didn’t stop until we were halfway home.)
England, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, UK | Healthy | February 7, 2018
(I have a psychologist assigned to me at my hospital, where I am a frequent visitor and inpatient due to a chronic illness. She’s not very good at her job, at least when it comes to me; every conversation I have with her ends in frustration for me, and a completely warped assessment of my emotional and mental state for my doctor. Eventually, I get tired of it, and ask not to see her anymore, since I think she misunderstands and/or misrepresents my mental health. This is the last conversation I have with her, during a week-long hospitalisation.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but considering that I asked you not to come today, and you came anyway, and once again you haven’t really understood what I’m saying, I’m going to ask the doctors not to send you to me anymore.
Psychologist: “Oh… Well, I still have one more visit planned for the day before you leave.”
Me: “Please cancel it. I appreciate your help, but I just become too frustrated.”
Psychologist: “Well… if you change your mind, please let–
Me: “I’m not going to change my mind.”
Psychologist: “Well, if you do, just tell one of the day nurses and—”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to.”
Psychologist: “Well, just in case you do—”
Me: “I’m not.”
Psychologist: “I know you think that now, but I’ll be here if you want to chat.”
Me: “I promise you, I won’t.”
Psychologist: “Well, if you change your mind…”
(Then, she just stood there smiling. I stared at her in disbelief until she left.)
Assisted Living, Belgium, Extra Stupid, Nurse | Healthy | February 6, 2018
(I am in the retirement home where my mother has spent her last years, doing some paperwork with the clerk. A nurse comes into the office, and the clerk introduces me
Clerk: “Meet Mrs. [My Name]’s daughter.”
Nurse: *very cheerily* “Oh, yes! Mrs. [My Name] is doing great; no problems!”
Me: “No doubt about it! She was cremated yesterday.”
(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)
Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”
Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before
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