Very Bad Reception, Part 19
Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Office, Spouses & Partners, UK | Working | November 27, 2017
Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].”
Me: “Hi. Could I please speak to [Manager], please?”
Receptionist: *click*
(I phone again, thinking I was just disconnected by accident.)
Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].”
Me: “Hi, I think—”
Receptionist: *click*
(Knowing she actually cut me off this time, I phone back again.)
Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].”
Me: “Why do you keep cutting me off?!”
Receptionist: “Because this is a cold call, and I’m told to hang up on them.”
Me: “Actually, I’m [Manager]’s husband, and I’d like to speak to him.”
Receptionist: “Yeah, right!” *laughing* “I’ve met his wife.” *click*
(Having had enough, I decide to just drive down.)
Receptionist: *smiling brightly* “Hello, welcome to [Business]. How can I help you?”
Me: “I’d like to speak to [Manager].”
Receptionist: “What reason do you have to speak to him? Do you have an appointment?”
Me: “I’m his husband, and no.”
(She realises who I am and sneers.)
Receptionist: *sarcastically* “Really? You’re that desperate?”
(Coincidently, my husband happens to walk by.)
Husband: “[My Name]? What are you doing here?”
Receptionist: “You know this degenerate?” *smugly* “I was just about to have him removed.”
Husband: “What? Why? He’s my husband!”
(The receptionist blushes and we stand in awkward silence for a few seconds.)
Me: *to the receptionist* “You want to explain?”
(The receptionist stammered through her explanation, with me inserting her claim that he had a wife after she neglected to mention it. My husband actually found it hilarious. She isn’t allowed near the phones anymore, though.)
Very Bad Reception, Part 18
Medical Office | Working | December 14, 2016
(I’m not the best at keeping track of things on the calendar. I realize that I have not booked an appointment to get my daughter’s follow up vaccines, so I call one morning.)
Me: “Hi, my daughter needs to get her booster shots. I’m afraid I’ve put this off by two months.”
Receptionist: “No problem. You can bring her in this morning.”
Me: “Oh! Perfect! Thanks! We’ll be in soon.”
(She takes my daughter’s name and info. I hung up and began to gather what we’d need for our time out of the house. Just as I reach the front door with diaper bag, book, and baby, the phone rings.)
Me: “Hello?”
Receptionist: “Hi. This is [Receptionist] from [Doctor’s Office].”
Me: “Yes?”
Receptionist: “I’m afraid your daughter won’t be able to get her booster shots on a walk-in basis today as she is two months past schedule.”
Me: “Oh, yes, I know we’re late. What should I do then?”
Receptionist: “You’ll have to call for an appointment.”
Me: “Can I make the appointment now?”
Receptionist: “No. You’ll have to call to make an appointment.”
Me: “Okay.”
(I hang up, look up the number (this was before caller ID), and call the doctor’s office.)
Receptionist: *same voice as before* “Hello, [Doctor’s Office]. [Receptionist] speaking. How can I help you?”
Me: “Yeah, I’m calling to make an appointment for my daughter to get her booster shots.”
Receptionist: “Oh, you don’t need to call for that. She can get them as a walk in.”
Me: “No, I’ve put it off too long. I was told we’ll need an appointment.”
Receptionist: “No, you can just walk in.”
Me: “I was told by you that we’d need an appointment.”
Receptionist: “No, you can just walk in.”
Me: “You called me not three minutes ago saying we’d need an appointment.”
Receptionist: “No, you can just walk in.”
Me: “Okay, instead, I’ll be picking up my daughter’s medical records. We’ll be changing doctors. How soon can I get those?”
Receptionist: “Changing doctors? Why?”
Me: “Just please get the records together. I’ll pick them up in an hour.”
(We did change doctors. Sad, because I liked that one. But dealing with the receptionist was more than I could take.)
Hey, Google, What Kind Of Cancer Do I Have?
Connecticut, Pharmacy, Stupid, USA | Healthy | January 18, 2018
(I stop in a pharmacy to pick up some medication. I hear the following from a lady next to me.)
Woman: “I want to buy this!”
(She points at medicine on the shelf behind the pharmacist.)
Pharmacist: “That’s prescription medication. You can’t buy that. I’m sorry.”
Woman: “I NEED IT!”
Pharmacist: “Okay, well, we still can’t give you the medication. You need a prescription.”
Woman: “No! WEBMD SAID I HAVE CANCER AND I NEED THIS!”
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I recommend you see your doctor before you get a self-diagnosis off of the Internet.”
Woman: “You’re a doctor! And I KNOW I HAVE CANCER!”
Pharmacist: “Actually, I’m not a—”
Woman: “YOU ALL WANT ME TO DIE OF CANCER! I AM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE!”
(She then proceeds to run out of the store, knocking down several displays and screaming “I NEED PENICILLIN! I HAVE CANCER!”)
Me: *mumbling* “How does she think penicillin will cure cancer, anyway?”
A Long Wait To See The Waiting Room
Awesome, Dentist, Germany, Reception | Healthy | January 18, 2018
(During all my childhood, our visits to the dentist go like this
Receptionist: “Hello, Mrs. [Our Last Name], why don’t you and [My Name] sit down in examination room two? The doctor will be with you in a minute.”
(Then, once, when I am thirteen
Receptionist: “Hello, Mrs. [Our Last Name], why don’t you and [My Name] sit down in the waiting room for a moment? We’ll call you in.”
(And that’s how I found out the dentist even had a waiting room. Scheduling level: genius.)
Her Hearing Is Going But Her Eyes Are Sharp As A Hawk’s
Bizarre, Golden Years, Health & Body, Home, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2018
(I work in a local doctor’s surgery, running a clinic fixing hearing aids. I’m at home with my family when the doorbell rings. An elderly lady is standing outside.)
Elderly Lady: “Hello, are you the hearing aid lady?”
Me: “Yes…”
Elderly Lady: *hands me a small package* “The hospital posted me a new hearing aid mould, but I don’t know how to fit it. I didn’t want to wait for the clinic.”
Me: “How did you find me?”
Elderly Lady: “I saw you going home and I recognised you. Can you put my hearing aid together?”
I Got 99 Problems, But My Age Ain’t One
Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurses, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2018
(My mum had a stroke two weeks ago. As she was in the hospital at the time it was caught exceptionally quickly, and her doctors believe there will only be some short-term memory loss. I don’t believe there is any, for the reason I am about to tell you. I have dropped by to visit when there are several nurses and her doctor by her bed, arguing.)
Mum: “See? There’s my son. Ask him if you don’t believe me!”
Me: “What’s going on?”
Doctor: “We believe it might be a sign of memory loss. Your mother is adamant that her grandmother is still alive.”
Me: “She is. She turns 100 next week. You met her last Friday before she was discharged.”
Doctor: *stutters* “I…I see… She also believes that money has been stolen from her purse; £100 pounds to be exact. Can you confirm that she had this money in her purse while staying here?”
Me: “Yes. It was for my great-grandmother’s birthday. She literally got it out of the ATM in the hospital’s atrium what, twenty minutes before she had her stroke?”
(My mum nods.)
Me: “In fact, that’s why I came around. She called me this morning to get a card.”
(I shook the bag in my hand and the doctor blushed furiously at the realisation that everything my mum said was accurate. All the nurses then backed away, seemingly suspicious of each other. They never found the money, or figured out who stole it, but my mum demanded to be immediately moved to another hospital, and the nurses managed to pool together £100 themselves as compensation. My mum refused to take it, though, as she saw it as an admission that they collectively stole it.)
Treating Depression With Tongue Firmly In Cheek
Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Oklahoma, Punny, Tulsa, USA | Healthy | January 17, 2018
(On my most recent office visit, I get some coffee but am hustled into a room before I can mix in cream or sugar. I spot a container of tongue depressors and grab one to stir. The nurse chuckles a bit at my audacity, but it makes perfect sense to me; it’s just like any other wooden coffee stirrer. Then, I have a bright idea. A few moments later my doctor walks in
Me: “I think I need Zoloft for my tongue.”
Doctor: “Why is that?”
Me: “It’s been depressed.”
(I got the laugh I hoped for. Nice to have a doctor with a sense of humor.)
Enough To Bring Tears To Your (Infected) Eyes
Arizona, Impossible Demands, Jerk, Optometrist/Optician, Stupid, USA | Healthy | January 16, 2018
(A customer comes in for a contact lens appointment. Their last appointment was nearly two years previous. They have an eye infection, so we bill them for a medical treatment visit.)
Customer: “What is this charge here? I wasn’t charged for this last time.”
Me: “Last time, you didn’t have an eye infection. We had to charge you a copay for that because of your medical insurance.”
Customer: “You didn’t ask me before doing all that; you can’t charge me for it.”
Me: “But you did want contact lenses, right?”
Customer: “Obviously.”
Me: “The doctor can’t give them to you until that eye infection is cleared up; that’s why this was a medical visit.”
Customer: “Well, the eye infection was your fault, anyway.”
Me: “Umm, but it was from over-wearing your contacts, correct?”
Customer: “Yes, but that’s your fault.”
Me: “Ma’am, you made a three-months supply of contacts last 20 months. I’m quite sure we didn’t recommend you do that.”
Customer: “Well, the contacts are too expensive! I couldn’t afford enough of them.”
Me: “Then, might I recommend you get glasses instead? We have a large selection of frames to choose from.”
Customer: “Glasses make people look stupid.”
Me: *laughs awkwardly, as all the other employees wear glasses, as do I* “Well, actually…”
Customer: “I don’t want glasses; I want contacts, and I’m not going to pay for things I didn’t ask for. If you don’t want people to get eye infections, you need to sell contacts cheaper.”
Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t pay for your visit, we cannot provide you with a prescription for contacts.”
Customer: “That’s just unprofessional!” *pays and then flounces out of office*
Bean There, Done Cat
Arizona, Pets & Animals, Silly, Stupid, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 16, 2018
(I am playing with one of the clinic cats, Bean, and toss a toy to him. Unfortunately, I miss and hit him in the face, though he doesn’t seem to mind. Bean is cute, but he’s not the brightest cat ever. Later, I am telling the vet about it.)
Me: “I feel kind of bad. I beaned Bean in the head with a toy.”
Doctor: “That’s okay; there’s nothing up there, anyway.”
23 Hilarious Stories About Taking Your Cat To The Vet!
Roundups | Right | August 22, 2020
Dear readers,
Did you know that today is Take Your Cat to the Vet Day? While we humans are used to regular checkups, even when we’re not sick, we tend to only take our moggles into the vet when they’re seriously ill. Today, then, is a reminder for cat-owners to make an appointment for their feline friends for a checkup, and maybe avoid an expensive vet bill later!
However, this wouldn’t be Not Always Right if we didn’t have a bunch of clueless pet-owners providing stories worth re-telling! So here, from our archives, are 23 hilarious stories about taking a cat to the vet, and all the drama that can ensue when Molly isn’t feeling it…
The Needling Issue Doesn’t Have To Be
Hospital, Japan, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Tokyo | Healthy | January 16, 2018
Due to a chronic condition, I needed to have a series of blood tests done, some of which required larger gauge needles than normal. I headed to the hospital closest to my apartment in Tokyo, waited to see the specialist, and got my notes to take to the blood draw lab reception.
The intake nurses were a bit flustered to be treating me, but my Japanese was good enough that I got through the first steps just fine. Then, I headed into the blood test room and the nurse there started telling me that the tests would hurt, the needles are pretty big, etc., and that in Japan, they don’t use skin-numbing cream. I assured her that I’d be fine, but she didn’t believe me and stomped out of the room to find a nurse that spoke English, despite the fact that we had been conversing in Japanese just fine.
I took off my cardigan, and my heavily-tattooed arms were now visible, right when the nurse came back, dragging a young doctor behind her. He looked at me and said to the nurse, “I think she’s okay with needles,” then burst out laughing as the nurse just gawked at me. Turns out I was the first foreign patient she’d ever taken blood from and she was terrified I’d flip out or faint because of the needles.
The Bone Isn’t The Only Thing Broken Around Here
Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurses, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | January 15, 2018
(I fall in my house while holding my two-year-old. As I fall, I turn my body to hold her against the wall so I do not crush her, and as a result, end up with a spiral fracture on my fibula, and a broken and dislocated ankle. When I arrive at the hospital, they try to wrench my ankle back into place but don’t quite align it, so they have to do it again. Of course, this time I know it’s coming, so they decide to use some sort of anesthesia that is meant to make the patient woozy and forget what happened. I’m concerned about whether this will work, and express that concern to the nurse preparing me for the injection.)
Nurse: “Don’t worry; you won’t remember a thing! It probably won’t hurt, either.”
Me: “Can’t you just use this with some actual pain medicine, too?”
(The only pain medicine I’ve received at ALL has been two doses of Fentanyl administered by the paramedics, an hour ago. Fentanyl at the dose I was given lasts 20 minutes, tops.)
Nurse: “Look: you won’t remember, and you won’t feel anything. The only time you might feel something is if I pricked you with a pin, or something!” *he says this as though he’s a genius for thinking of this persuasive argument*
Me: “You mean like the kind of pain I’d feel if someone was moving around my dislocated ankle?!”
(I remembered everything. They also acted like they were doing me a massive favor in keeping me overnight instead of sending me home with three broken bones before surgery the next day. I finally got pain medicine six hours later at the room they begrudgingly gave me, and the call button didn’t work! I had to call my own room phone number with my cell phone and let it ring until a nurse came, because I couldn’t find the nurse’s station phone number!)
Got A Triple Of Problems With Your Diagnosis
Chicago, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 15, 2018
(I’m at my ob-gyn office for a prenatal check-up. I’ve been going to this office for six years. A doctor I’ve never seen before walks in.)
Doctor: “You’re here to renew your hormonal birth control prescription?”
Me: “No?”
(I’m just entering my third trimester with triplets. He could see my belly if he’d look up from his phone. You could see my belly from the other side of the state at this point!)
Doctor: *looks confused for a second but still doesn’t make eye contact, instead condescendingly says* “You are aware that condoms aren’t 100% effective, right?”
Me: “Gee, I wish you’d told me that seven months ago…”
(He finally looked up and tried to pass it off as there being another patient in the office right that minute with my very unusual first and last name.)
That’s What I (N)Said
British Columbia, Canada, Pharmacy | Healthy | January 14, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.
Customer: *holding a box of OTC medication* “Excuse me. My wife is allergic to the Niacide family.”
Me: “Pardon? Do you mean NSAIDs?”
Customer: “No! NIACIDES!”
(I give him a puzzled look.)
Customer: “You know, ibuprofen and stuff!”
Me: “Right… NSAIDs.”
Customer: “Oh, whatever. Can she take this or not?”
Pregnancy Brain Affects The Men Even More
Hospital, Indiana, USA | Healthy | January 13, 2018
(My cousin is a nurse. One of the doctors, male, at the hospital where she works has gotten a few complaints for dismissing women complaining about certain symptoms as “pregnant.” One day she’s talking to a fellow nurse and another doctor, female, in the hallway, when they hear this from a nearby room
Patient: “HALLELUJAH! I’M PREGNANT WITH THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS!”
(My cousin and her coworkers exchange looks as an energetic and loud speech about “virginal conception” and “accepting my heavenly duties” sounds from the room.)
(She went in and took over the rest of the exam while my cousin and her coworker escorted the other doctor out. She said the look on his face was priceless! Needless to say, the story quickly spread around the hospital staff, and the doctor in question got in some trouble with the higher-ups thanks to this and the previous complaints. It’s been two months now, and he has yet to dismiss another woman’s complaints since then.)
Pray That Incompetence Isn’t Airborne
Florida, Hospital, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2018
(I am doing clinicals at the hospital as part of my certified nursing assistant (CNA) program, on the communicable disease ward. I enter at patient room. Now, in this program students aren’t even allowed in the rooms of any patients with airborne contagious diseases. It is also a rule of the hospital that signs be placed on the front of the door along with masks for airborne diseases. I’m making my rounds and enter a room where the patient is sleeping, and grab the chart. He has a serious infectious airborne. I backtrack out of the room and look at the door. No sign, no masks. I approach my teacher about this, and then the head nurse.)
Me: “I read the chart in 334—”
Nurse: “You shouldn’t be in 334. He’s airborne and you’re a student.”
Me: “That’s why I came to you. There is no—”
Nurse: “Why were you in there? You could get seriously sick.”
Me: “You assign—”
Nurse: “It doesn’t matter what I assigned you to. You should know the rules. That’s why I hate working with students. Too stupid to even notice the sign on the door.”
(Now I’m irritated at the interruptions as well as the insinuation of stupidity.)
Me: “Look, lady, I’m not dumb; I’m top of the class. If you’d let me finish a sentence, I could tell you–”
Nurse: “Oh, God. If you’re top of the class, I’d hate to see—”
(I finally snap and interrupt her.)
Me: “And if you’re the head nurse here who is in charge of making sure people are doing their jobs so patients don’t die, I’d hate to see your mortality rate. As I was saying before, there is no sign, no masks, nothing on the door to indicate airborne. There aren’t masks inside or out. As the head nurse, shouldn’t you know this? You assigned me three rooms. When I said the room number you immediately knew he was airborne without pulling a chart. One could figure you knew this upon assigning my rooms, and ignored the rules, or have come across this information since, and rather than changing my assignment, or at least informing me, you just let it go.”
Nurse: “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to enter an airborne room. Now you say you went in without a mask?”
Me: “You should be sure that airborne is indicated as per the rules.”
Nurse: “You’re rude to me. You make a mistake then you’re rude to me. Your teacher will hear about this. Go work on your other patient rooms.”
Me: “My teacher has already heard about this. From me. And I’m not going to work with other sick people when I may have been contaminated. I’m going to tell my teacher I’m going home. I’d suggest you get a d*** sign and masks on that door before you get someone killed.”
(I go to my teacher and fill her in on the conversation. My teacher said she would deal with it, I should go, and to be sure to get tested as well. Then she says this…)
Doctors Need To Have Patience With The Patients
Florida, Nursing Home, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2018
(I am a student in a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) program doing rotations in a nursing home shadowing a CNA working there. This patient is not part of our assigned rooms but is screaming for help. I ignore it at first, as I’m literally surrounded by medical professionals and figure her CNA or nurse will be in soon. Instead it carries on.)
Me: “Shouldn’t we check in on her?”
CNA: “She’s not ours, and she’s always like this. She just wants attention.”
Me: “Okay.”
(Ten minutes later, she is still screaming for help. Nobody is paying attention, and my CNA goes to do something without me. So since I have a 15-minute break without anyone to shadow, I decide to check on the woman. If she just wants attention, no harm done, I can talk a few minutes.)
Me: “Hi, I’m a student. Can I help?”
Patient: “My stomach.”
Me: *picks up chart* “How does your stomach feel?” *I look at the page detailing all she has ate and drank and any output, or waste, that day, thinking it’s an upset stomach*
Patient: “It’s exploding.”
Me: “That’s awful.”
(Then I notice she’s on a catheter, but no urine output has been recorded on her otherwise detailed chart. I look at her cath bag, and there is no urine in it. For those who don’t know much about caths there is always something. The body is constantly producing urine, and with a cath it drains straight off. This seems dangerous to me.)
Me: “I’m going to get you some help.”
(To the nurse at the station.)
Me: “The patient who has been screaming, I just checked in with her.”
Nurse: “She wants attention. Ignore it.”
(I find my teacher.)
Me: “This patient isn’t mine, but she’s been screaming. I keep getting told she’s attention seeking, but she has a cath and no output.”
Teacher: “I’ll check her.”
(I go about my day, and right before the students meet with the teacher for end of the day, I check in with the patient and she starts crying and thanking me profusely, saying nobody else listens, and I helped, and now she is ok. I note there is urine output in the bag. I go on to meet my class, and my teacher starts our reporting. As her final note
Teacher: “Oh, and [My Name] saved a woman’s life today!”
Me: “I did?”
Teacher: “Her catheter was misplaced. She had no urine output. You noticed while everyone else ignored her. When I placed her catheter correctly, the bag overflowed. Her bladder was close to bursting, which could have been serious or even killed her. Let this be a lesson, class: don’t ignore a patient just because they aren’t yours or want attention.”
Eating In Reverse
Hospital, Ohio, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2018
(I am in the ER waiting to be treated for a severe migraine with EXTREME nausea. In the next cubicle is a man who apparently had a blockage in his digestive system. A stomach pump has just begun when I am shown to my cubicle. I am very happy not to have been an “ear-witness” to the tube insertion!)
Female In Next Cubicle: “Oh, look! There’s a jelly bean! And that must be the chicken from dinner!”
(She continued describing every morsel being pumped from his stomach. My nausea increased to the point that I vomited on the floor near the curtain. She wasn’t as excited about seeing what I had eaten. It stopped her narrative, though.)
Benzo Combo No No
Pharmacy, USA, Virginia | Healthy | January 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.
(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)
Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”
Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”
Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”
Me: “Bad combo?”
Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”
(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)
Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”
Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”
Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”
Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”
Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”
Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”
Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”
Doctor: “All right, sure.”
(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)
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