(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
Australia, Hospital, Reception | Healthy | October 28, 2017
(At the end of a visit patients return to the front desk to settle accounts. Our EFT Machine likes to be difficult sometimes so I do as much as I can on it so the patient doesn’t get confused.)
Me: “Okay, was that cheque, savings, or credit?”
Patient: “Credit.”
(I select credit and put the EFT Machine in front of them.)
Me: “Pin, please.”
(I look away. After hearing only four beeps, each button pressed beeps — four for the pin and one for enter — I go ahead and visually see only three buttons of the pin were entered. I press the yellow button once to erase it.)
Me: “Pin again, please. The buttons tend to stick.”
(Again I hear only four beeps and visually check. I repeat pressing the yellow button once.)
Me: “Once more, please. Really press down.”
(I hear four beeps again, but before I can press the yellow button the patient notices and presses it three times quickly. The machine makes an error beep and a big cross comes on the screen that cancels the payment.)
Me: “Okay. We only need to press that once. Let’s start again.”
(Little things like this that tend to be unnecessary mistakes and use more time than it should. Another example
Me: “Was that cheque, savings, or credit?”
(I notice on the screen it says debit, but debit and credit can be selected as the same thing. Debit cards are used in place of credit cards when ordering online and such. The patient looks at me wide-eyed.)
Patient: “I don’t have credit!”
(They panic faster than I can explain. It was a slip of the tongue, habitual, and not really a fuss.)
Patient: “Don’t put it on credit! It’s not credit!”
Insurance, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | October 27, 2017
(My eye insurance changes when I got a new job, so I need to find a new doctor for my contacts exam. I choose one in the same building as my previous job at a pharmacy, as I’ve met [Doctor], who is a really nice guy, and call to make an appointment.)
Me: “Hi, before I make an appointment, I want to confirm that you take my insurance?”
Receptionist: “Oh, the plan offered by the local hospital? Of course we do.”
(I’m scheduled for the next open appointment, three months away. Fast forward to the day of the appointment. She copies my insurance cards, and I wait for my exam.)
Nurse: “[My Name]. Good afternoon, the doctor will be in to see you shortly.”
(In walks a short, bald, bearded man, not the tall, thin, bespectacled fellow I knew from the pharmacy, but I figure perhaps [Doctor] has expanded his practice or has a fill-in today. He proceeds to do my exam and tells me my script will be up front, no niceties, no introduction.)
Me: “Thank you! And I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name.” *primarily so I know not to schedule an appointment with him again*
Doctor: “[Doctor], of course!”
Me: “Oh, I apologize. I mistook the taller gentleman with glasses for you.”
Doctor: “He’s just the optician.”
(Cue the end of the awkwardness, and I go up front to pay my copay and get my script.)
Receptionist: “That will be [amount nearly $300].”
Me: “What? Shouldn’t it be $50 with my insurance and deductible?”
Receptionist: “Oh, we only take your insurance for eye emergencies.”
Me: *pays with mouth agape*
(She knew they only took my insurance for emergencies and scheduled me for an obviously non-emergent appointment. Then she copied my cards, again not pointing out that it wouldn’t cover my visit. And the doctor was an unfriendly, cold fellow to boot. Needless to say I never went back, even though my insurance has now changed to something they universally accept.)
Colorado, Fast Food, Health & Body, USA, Westminster | Healthy | October 27, 2017
(I am working the cash register at a fast food restaurant. A pregnant woman comes up to me.)
Woman: “Hi, I’m in labor right now. Can I get a big glass of ice water?”
Me: *not sure I heard her correctly* “I… what?”
Woman: “Yeah, I just had a big contraction. Can I get some water?”
Me: “Uh… yeah, totally. Of course.”
(I grab her a cup and begin filling it with ice and water.)
Me: *jokingly* “So you’re not going to have the kid here, are you? I don’t know how to do that.”
Woman: *smirking* “No, I’m not going to have it here. Though you would not believe how backed up the highway is.”
(I give her the water and she rushes out. Her voice was strained throughout the conversation which makes total sense. I later told a coworker what I’d just gone through.)
Coworker: “Yeah, it happens. I had a woman in labor go through the drive-thru once.” *confused* “So you’ve been working food service for ten years and you’ve never had that happen once?”
California, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 26, 2017
(I work in a pharmacy as an intern, and on the weekends, we only have one pharmacist on duty. It is company policy that employees have to take their unpaid lunch by the fifth hour on the clock. This happens when our pharmacist is out to lunch.)
Tech: “Hello there. Are you picking up or dropping off?”
Patient: “Picking up.”
Tech: “I’m sorry, but our pharmacist is on lunch. We can’t sell any prescriptions without a pharmacist here.”
Patient: “Why the h*** not?!”
Tech: “I’m sorry, but it is against the law for us to do that.”
Patient: “Just give it to me! I drove all the way here!”
Tech: “I can’t; it’s against the law, and we have to have a pharmacist here.”
Patient: “There should always be a pharmacist here; it’s a pharmacy! Why the h*** aren’t they here?!”
Tech: “She’s on her lunch right now. She’ll be back at 1:30, but I can’t do anything until then.”
Patient: “I want to talk to a manager!”
Tech: *calls manager*
Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do anything until the pharmacist comes back from lunch. She has to take her lunch, too.”
Patient: “I’m complaining to corporate. What is their number? This is ridiculous!”
Manager: “It’s [number].”
(The patient storms off as the manager just shrugs.)
Manager: “Call all you want. What are they gonna do? Fire me for following the law?”
Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | October 25, 2017
(I am a pharmacy technician, not qualified to recommend drugs or dispense advice. Any questions about actual medicine, I am required to pass off to a pharmacist, even if I think I know the answer.)
Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”
Customer: *mumbling* “Um, I think I—” *mumbles* “—contact with bleach…”
Me: “I’m sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”
Customer: “I think I might have swallowed some bleach and was wondering if the pharmacist could recommend anything.”
Me: *trying not to look alarmed* “Well, if I were you, I would call the Poison Control Center, but I’ll check with the pharmacist.”
(I go back to the counter where the pharmacist is working.)
Me: “This guy says he might have ingested bleach and wants to know if you can recommend anything. I told him he should call the Poison Control Center.”
Pharmacist: “Yeah, that’s about it.”
(I go up to the front counter and repeat this advice to the customer.)
Customer: “Well, I drank some fluids and I’m feeling better now. I had some [soda], and some water, and some lemonade. My chest was hurting before but now it’s better. Do you know if bleach can make your chest hurt?”
Me: “Um… probably. If you swallowed bleach, it could hurt on the way down. You should probably call the Poison Control Center.”
Customer: “Eh, maybe I’ll call them tomorrow. If I’m not feeling better then, I can go to the emergency room, too.”
Me: “I would call them tonight if I were you, just to be safe. Do you want their number?”
(I write it down on the nearest piece of paper and hand it to him.)
Customer: “Yeah, thanks. I might call them tomorrow.”
(He wanders away, but comes back later. My coworker is an intern, studying to become a pharmacist, and gets to the counter first. I overhear their conversation.)
Customer: “I was wondering about water pills. What do they do?”
Coworker: “Um, they make you urinate.”
Customer: “Can I get some of those?”
Coworker: *realizing why he’s asking* “They don’t flush out your system; they’re used to lower blood pressure. And you would need a prescription.”
Customer: “Can I get one of those?”
Coworker: *bewildered* “We don’t give prescriptions here; we just fill them. You would need to go to a doctor.”
(The customer wanders away, apparently still confused about a lot of things.)
Me: “I hope he’s going to be okay.”
Pharmacist: “If he had really swallowed bleach, his throat would be burned. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but there’s nothing else we can do.”
Me: “How are you today? I’m told you needed help with fish?”
Customer: “Yeah, all my fish died after I cleaned my tank yesterday. My husband says that it may have had to do with me using bleach, but I told him he was wrong.”
Me: “Well, actually he is right. Bleach leaves residue on the glass. Even after rinsing it, that can kill the fish.”
Customer: “But I didn’t even rinse it.”
Me: “What did you do, then?”
Customer: “I just added it to the water. How could that kill them?”
Nurse #2 : “I guess so.” *to me* “You can go home, I guess. But get a doctor’s note.”
(I then drove home, barely coherent. After going to the doctor I found out that I had SWINE FLU, or H1N1. And they wanted me to come to work, endangering both myself and the elderly residents! I quit a few months later.)
(I have a chronic illness and find myself going to the office where my GP, the walk-in clinic, and phlebotomy lab are all located. There are two attendants at the front doors that help patients in and out of vehicles and bring wheelchairs. Here in the South, it’s pretty typical for strangers to greet you as you walk past or even ask how you are. “Pretty good,” is the expected answer, no matter what.)
Insurance, New Zealand, Pets & Animals, Text/Chat/Email, Zombies | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(A few months ago we signed up for pet insurance for all four of our animals. This month, we got caught by surprise by the payment and as a result, one of the payments did not process correctly. This is the email we got regarding the payment that did not process
Email: “Please call us on [number] or email us quoting [policy number] in regards to your insurance payment for your pet Zombie.”
Insurance, New Zealand, Pets & Animals, Text/Chat/Email, Zombies | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(A few months ago we signed up for pet insurance for all four of our animals. This month, we got caught by surprise by the payment and as a result, one of the payments did not process correctly. This is the email we got regarding the payment that did not process
Email: “Please call us on [number] or email us quoting [policy number] in regards to your insurance payment for your pet Zombie.”
Canada, Health & Body, home, Marriage & Partners | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(I have a minor surgery on my foot. By chance, the only gauze the doctor has to wrap it is bright red. I head home after, and my husband is already home. He has some emergency first aid experience.)
Me: “Ugh, it hurts. I guess I should take my sock off, see if that eases some pressure.”
(I take my sock off slowly.)
Me: *fake surprise* “Whoah, that’s red!”
Husband: *stares blankly*
Me: “Aww, you’re no fun. I thought the red gauze would freak you out.”
Husband: “So it’s gauze?”
Me: “Yep. It’s all the doctor had. It startled me so I thought I’d try and get you, too. You’re not as surprised as I thought you’d be.”
California, Medical Office, Sacramento, Time, USA | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(My multi-specialty medical office has an audiologist who does hearing tests for patients. I assist the ENT [Ear/Nose/Throat] doctors so I handle calls from his patients, since he doesn’t have his own assistant. One of our phone operators calls me at the nurses’ station with an audiology patient on the other line.)
Operator: “Dr. [Audiologist]’s 4:00 says she’s going to be ten minutes late. Is that okay?”
(We allow a 15-minute window to show up for appointments, and a check of the schedule reveals she’s the last patient of the day.)
Me: “Yes, that’s fine, as long as it’s no more than 15 minutes.”
(The operator relays the message and I go about my day. Later, I realize it’s 4:45 and the patient isn’t showing up as checked in on the schedule. I’m about to call up to the front desk to see if they’ve forgotten to check her in when the receptionist calls me.)
Receptionist: “Hi… did you tell Dr. [Audiologist]’s 4:00 that we’d ‘just work her in’ when she got here? Because she just got here.” *I can practically hear the air quotes*
Me: “I most certainly did not. I said no more than 15 minutes late. She needs to reschedule.”
Receptionist: “Yeah… that’s what I thought. Okay. I’m gonna go talk to [Audiologist]. Bet he’ll say the same thing.”
(He did. When the receptionist politely relayed to the patient that he was unable to stay 45 minutes late to accommodate her, she threw a hissy fit and ranted at our poor receptionist for several minutes before storming out in a snit. Her best line, as the receptionist later conveyed, was that she’d told our phone operator she was “on 50” and he should have known how far away she was. Highway 50 runs from West Sacramento to Maryland…)
(This was a few years ago. I have made an appointment with a new GP to give me a contraceptive implant since I keep forgetting to take my pills and I want to be safe. This is my first time at this particular office.)
Doctor: “So I’m just going to numb the area first and then we’ll get the implant in there.”
Me: “Okay.”
(I roll up my sleeve and turn my head away.)
Doctor: “Are you all right?”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I just don’t like watching the needle go in. So I’m gonna look at that wall there.”
Doctor: “All right, then.”
(She then stuck the needle in and lifted the skin of my arm up with the needle as she removed it. When she apologized she attempted to do it again. Both times were quite painful but thankfully the needle didn’t break and the rest of the appointment went fine.)
Doctor: “Again, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened there. Maybe if you didn’t have such tiny arms!”
(Three years later I went to get my implant replaced. This time I got a nurse to do it. She did it completely pain-free on the first try. I guess my tiny arms weren’t a problem for the nurse.)
Health & Body, home, Nurses, Religion | Right | November 14, 2016
(I am an RN that goes around to people’s homes. I get an order to obtain a blood draw from a particularly religious patient who refuses to let me try anywhere except the tiny blood vessels in her hand. As I’m on my second attempt, apparently she thinks I need a little help…)
Patient: *loudly, with eyes closed* “Lord Jesus, help her find that blood! Send the blood to her Jesus; she needs your help! Draw her to that vein, oh Lord, and show your power!”
Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Hopeless | June 13, 2016
(It’s my first day commuting to work off campus during summer term and I have a bike to get there. I’m feeling pretty good until three miles in, when it gets harder to keep going. All of a sudden, a van pulls over.)
Stranger: “Get in.”
Me: “I’m going to work and I really don’t—”
Stranger: “I’m a registered nurse and you’re showing signs of heat exhaustion. Get in now.”
(After stammering a bit, I let the RN put my bike in back and get me a water bottle.)
Me: “Thanks! I’m an out-of-state student so I’m not used to this heat.”
Stranger: “I get it. Do you need a ride home?”
(She showed up after my work and drove me home. I never saw her again, but I loved her.)
Awesome, Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Healthy | May 17, 2016
(My family is visiting my grandma, and we like renting bicycles to ride around the gated community where she lives. My mom and two younger siblings are just on our way back to the house. It’s a very hot day and I’m wearing a dark shirt.)
Me: “Hold up a minute. I feel woozy.”
(I pull onto the grass and sit down, panting, as my vision swirls with purple-green clouds. Usually they clear in a few moments, but they’re not going away. I can’t get back on the bike until I can see, so Mom is about to send my brother on ahead to bring Dad back with the car, when a car pulls up next to us.)
Little Old Lady: “Do you need help?”
(I’m a little fuzzy on the details after that point, but it turned out that she was a retired nurse! She offered to drive me back to Grandma’s house. I was doing a little better in the air-conditioned car, but I was still woozy and she talked to me to keep me awake. When we got to the house, I had to lean on her shoulder to get inside; my dad told me later that he thought I was helping her at first! She helped me into a reclining chair and got a cool, damp washcloth to put on my forehead before she left, with instructions to drink lots of water and not move for a while. She left before I could thank her, but I sent a thank-you note when I was better. Even after they retire, nurses are awesome people!)
(During first full week of Advanced Placement and IB tests of my junior year in high school I find myself struck with a particularly nasty illness called norovirus, which causes nearly non-stop vomiting and diarrhea. I am home alone, as my father is out the whole week for business, and I am taking the bus to and from school for exams. Since I knew I cannot miss any of these tests on such short notice, I manage to tough it out for four days, but at that point I have not been able to eat or drink anything that remains in my stomach for more than five minutes. Severely dehydrated and weak, I finally decide to go to a close-by clinic for IV fluids after school. Since they need a doctor on-site to legally be able to give fluids, I call ahead.)
Nurse: “Hello, [Clinic]. This is [Nurse]. How may I help you?”
Me: *very quietly as my throat has started to develop acid sores* “Hi… Do you have the… Do you do IV fluids?”
Nurse: “What’s that, sweetie? I didn’t quite catch that.”
Me: “I need IV fluids… I really need them.”
Nurse: “Unfortunately we don’t have a doctor with us right now, hun.” *I start crying, since at this point I’m worried I will not be able to get out of bed tomorrow for my next exam* “Sweetie, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?”
Me: “No… I think I got norovirus from that restaurant that was shut down last week and I’m home alone and I have my AP tests that I can’t miss and I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything for days and I’m getting too weak to do anything! I can’t go to the ER because my dad didn’t leave me enough money to cover anything and I really need to go to my exam tomorrow!”
Nurse: “All right, sweetie, give me one second.” *the line is silent for about five minutes* “Okay, hun, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to go out to you and pick you up, then we’re going to go to the [Clinic] downtown and get you your fluids. After that I’ll take you home and you give me your exam schedule. Is tomorrow your last day for exams until next week?”
Me: *shocked at her kindness* “Yes, ma’am.”
Nurse: “All righty. Then I’ll take you to your exam tomorrow morning and then we do need to check you into the hospital, all right, sweetie? Give me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Call your dad and tell him what is going on, okay?”
(This nurse had negotiated with her supervisor to get the next two days off work so she could make sure I was taken care of and safe. After my exam the next day she picked me up and took me to the hospital, used a few personal favors to get me in quickly and hold off on payment, and stayed with me until my father could get there. We have since become good friends, and I am currently working on my own MD while volunteering at her clinic. This woman is why nurses really should rule the world!)
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