Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

A Paucity Of Verbosity
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 25, 2012
(I need to get some prescription medication, and decide to use the opportunity to get some exfoliating cream, which helps remove dead skin.)

Me: “Hi, this is a prescription I need filled. Can you also tell me where you keep the exfoliating creams?”

Cashier: “…The what?”

Me: “Exfoliating creams?”

Cashier: *slowly* “Ex-fooo-liating creams…” *turns to her manager* “What’s exfoliating creams?”

Manager: *to me* “They’re right this way.”

Cashier: “Sorry, I haven’t learnt big words yet!”

A Mother’s Duty
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 12, 2013
Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy. How may I help you?

Customer: “Hi, my fiancè’s mother is incompetent, and I am going to be helping out with her medicines.”

(When she says ‘incompetent,’ I am thinking she might want to transfer the woman’s meds to our pharmacy, has a question about her drugs, or something of the sort.)

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Since she is incompetent, I think she is going to need some kind of diaper or underwear. So, what do y’all sell there?”

Needs To Take A Chill Pill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 29, 2013
(I’m at a chain company pharmacy/mini-stores getting a bottle of water. As I pass by the pharmacy, I witness an exchange between a very burly, muscular customer and a short, skinny female clerk.)

Customer: “I need to refill my prescription.”

Clerk: “Well, I’m sorry, but according to our systems, you have no refills left. You’ll need to contact your doctor and get a new prescription.”

Customer: “What?! I want my pills. Give me my pills!”

(The exchange continues for a while, with the customer getting more and more agitated. The clerk appears to be frightened and close to tears. The commotion is drawing the attention of the people around.)

Customer: “You dumb b****, are you f***ing stupid? Give me my pills or there will be a problem.”

(At this point, I step between him and the clerk behind the counter.)

Me: “Look buddy, she already said that she’s not giving you pills and told you what to do. So you better just listen to her, leave, and stop making an a** of yourself.”

(For a moment he looks like he is going to hit me, then just stomps away swearing under his breath.)

Me: *to the clerk* “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

Clerk: “It’s alright. Thank you for that. Here, that water is on me, okay?”

Paging Charlotte On Aisle 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 16, 2013
(I am at the cashier, ringing up a long line of people. I notice when customers walk in, they suddenly skirt around the theft detectors. A lady approaches the counter.)

Lady: “There is a big spider in the entrance!”

(Note: I don’t want to leave the counter because of the enormous line.)

Me: “Okay, cool.”

Lady: “You have to kill it. You work here.”

Me: “It’s not hurting anyone.”

(The lady’s husband chimes in.)

Husband: “Kill it, she’s right!”

(Everyone in the line seems to agree with the lady and her husband.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll just move it outside.”

Husband: “No, kill it!”

Me: “No, it wont do any harm out there in the parking lot.”

(I move the spider outside.)

Lady: “I can’t take it anymore!”

Me: “Can’t take what?”

(Suddenly, the lady grabs a basket made for carrying products outside and finds the spider. She starts violently smashing the red basket on the spider.)

Lady: “Why is it not dying?!”

(It turns out the basket has little legs on the bottom, preventing it from making contact with the spider. She eventually figures this out and kills it, but not before it charges her one last time and causes her to flip out!)

Paging Insecurity
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 16, 2013
(I am a customer in this pharmacy store late at night. As I walk up to the counter, a male customer is loudly complaining to a male cashier about ‘the gays.’ Being a lesbian, I’m gathering up the courage to say something when the following happens.)

Male Customer: “The gays keep trying to turn everyone!”

Male Cashier: “It must be rough.”

Male Customer: “How do you mean?”

Male Cashier: “I have a handful of gay friends, and no matter how much time I’ve spent with them, I’ve never wanted to have sex with other dudes. I’m just saying it must be rough to have such a tenuous hold on your sexuality that you’re always worried about being turned by the slightest contact. I feel for you.”

(It takes a moment, but the male customer realizes what the male cashier is saying.)

Male Customer: “…Hey, f*** you, buddy!”

Male Cashier: “You want to f*** me? Oh god, it’s happening now! There must be a gay in the store! Run!”

Customer: *screaming* “Go to h***!”

(The customer then runs out of the store. As I put my stuff up on the counter, the manager runs up from one of the aisles.)

Manager: “What the h*** was that?”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m probably just getting a customer complaint in the morning. Totally worth it… I’ll explain later.” *to me* “Sorry about all that. How are you tonight?”

Me: “If I was straight, I would totally be giving you my number right now.”

He Came First
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2013
(Two customers enter at the same time. One is a woman, and the other is a man in his 70s. I get their scripts ready. As the woman is done first, I send her up to the tills while I finish with the man. Since there is another customer at the tills, I end up putting the man through before the woman is served.)

Woman: “I was here first! How come he is served before me? What does he have that I don’t?

(The man responds without a second thought.)

Man: “Raw sex appeal.”

(If I was allowed to discount scripts, I would have given him his for free.)

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
PHARMACY | LEARNING | MARCH 12, 2013
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

You Can’t Make This Advice Up
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 11, 2013
(I am buying some make-up for myself. I have oily skin and very mild acne, so my dermatologist has recommended using powder foundations. I’m a student working part-time so I can’t afford the high range stuff, but I still buy reliable branded products.)

Cashier: “Are you wearing this now?” *screws up her nose at my powder*

Me: “Um yeah, I always get that one.”

Cashier: “Well, you should get [famous brand] matte foundation instead. We’ve got it for like $80. I bought some myself.”

Me: “Oh thanks, but I can’t really afford it! I like this powder because I just want some light coverage for blemishes and it looks quite natural. And it’s on special for $38, which sounds good to me!”

Cashier: “Ugh, but you’re so pale, and I can see you’ve got some gross little pimples by your chin! This stuff is way better. See?”

(The cashier points at her own face. True, she doesn’t seem to have any acne showing, but she hasn’t blended it to her neck and consequently looks like she is wearing a mask. On top of this, she seems to have applied several layers of the stuff and a load of bronzer, so the makeup resembles orange cake mix, set off nicely with false eyelashes and bright blue eyeshadow.)

Me: “Oh, yeah it is quite nice… but I think I’ll stick with my powder.”

Cashier: “Whatever…” *rolls eyes* “You’ll find the cheap tanning sprays over in the corner!”

Mistaken Shaken Medication
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 17, 2013
(I am counseling a customer who is receiving a prescription for her child’s strep throat. As she’s signing for the prescription, I give her directions on the medication.)

Me: “It needs to be shaken well.”

(All of a sudden, she starts shaking the electronic pen that is attached to the signature pad. After a moment she stops.)

Customer: “You meant shake the medicine, didn’t you?”

They’re Obviously Married To That Idea
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 17, 2013
(I am a college student and picking up my inhaler from a local pharmacy. I’ve just gotten a new prescription insurance card and need to have the information changed. Since I’m under my parents’ insurance, the card is in my father’s name.)

Me: “I’d like to pick up my prescription and update my insurance.”

(I hand the pharmacy tech the insurance card.)

Tech: “This is under a guy’s name. You’re a girl.”

Me: “Yes, that’s my father’s name. I’m included under his insurance.”

Tech: “So, you’re under your husband’s insurance. Let me see if I can update that.”

Me: “Father, not husband.”

Tech: “What’s your husband’s date of birth?”

Me: “That’s my father, not my husband, and it’s [date].”

Tech: “Wow! You look young to be married to someone that old.”

Me: “For the third time, I am under my father’s insurance. I’m not married.”

Tech: “Oh. Okay. Well, I need to show this to the pharmacist on duty.”

(She walks over to the pharmacist, who is still within my earshot.)

Tech: “Hey, this girl is under her husband’s insurance and I need help updating her info…”

Me: *facepalm*

Herd Behavior, Part 2
PHARMACY | ROMANTIC | APRIL 26, 2013
(I’m a 25-year-old Brony. I use a Brony lanyard with several Pony buttons on it to wear my name tag, and a wallet that has a short leather Rainbow Dash tail sticking out of my back pocket. I also have looks that some consider girly, and am often confused for a girl. I am serving a male customer who appears to be around my age.)

Customer: “Hi… I’m here to pick up my Dad’s prescriptions.”

Me: “Certainly, I just need the name and date of birth.”

Customer: “So, when do you get off?”

Me: “Uh… why?”

Customer: “Well, I was wondering if you might want to go out for drinks a little later.”

Me: “Whoa, buddy, stop right there. I’m probably not your type, anyway, since I’m a guy.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I can tell. I like your wallet by the way.”

Me: “Thanks. I’m a Brony, but, uh… I don’t really swing that way, man. I have a girlfriend; she actually gave me the bracelet as a gift.”

(I take out my wallet, and show him the picture of us in the front.)

Customer: “Oh! That’s a cute picture. That’s too bad.”

Me: “No big deal, though. I’m actually kind of flattered; you’re the first guy to hit on me thinking I’m a guy. Usually it’s some pervert that thinks I’m a girl. It’s usually one of those ‘anything that moves and has boobs’ types.”

Customer: “Hah! No way! Have a good one. Gimme a brohoof, and tell your girlfriend she’s lucky.”

(We brohoof, and he leaves. Thank Celestia for people who can take ‘no’ for an answer!)

Coworkers-In-Arms
PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 22, 2013
(When we get truck, they normally try and schedule it so at least one male is working to help, since the boxes are stacked up very high and often quite heavy. On this particular day however it’s me and the store manager who is notoriously lazy. I’m only five feet tall and he’s well over six feet.)

Store Manager: “[My name], I need you to start sorting the totes.”

Me: “I’m going to need some help.”

Store Manager: “There’s no reason you can’t do it!”

Me: “So, you think I should be able to scale the ladder, lift a bulky 35 pound tote and make my way safely back down?”

Store Manager: “Yes, why is that so hard?”

Me: “It’s not safe.”

Store Manager: “I don’t care how you do it. Just get it done!”

(He stalks off while I try and figure out how to do this. One of our pharmacy techs cuts through the backroom and sees me; I’m visibly upset at this point.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “[Store manager] left me alone to try and get all these totes down.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Right, like that’s totally safe.”

Me: “He doesn’t care. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to do it to avoid not only hurting myself, but breaking anything.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Yeah, hang on…”

(He goes back into the pharmacy before reappearing and shucking his vest.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We’re slow, and like h*** I’m letting you do this by yourself. The pharmacist told me to go ahead and help you.”

Me: “Won’t you get in trouble?”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’d like to see him try and get me in trouble.”

(The tech helps me get the down so I can more easily sort the totes. After we’ve finished, the store manager shows back up.)

Store Manager: “I can’t believe you’ve only gotten this much done!”

Me: “Well, maybe if you were actually halfway competent you would have realized that you were supposed to be helping me! I’m one person, what exactly have you been doing all this time? Sit around on your butt texting in the office, most likely!”

Store Manager: “You can’t talk to me that way! I’m your boss!”

Me: “Not anymore!”

(I threw my name tag at him and walked out. Several other members of management called to try and get me to come back, but I refused. I found a job at another pharmacy and shortly later, my pharmacy tech buddy joined me there!)

Prescribing Perspective
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2013
Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Customer #1 : “I’m picking up a script for [name].”

(I proceed to look it up. However, the system alerts me that we do not have anything ready.)

Me: “I don’t see that we have anything ready for you, ma’am.”

Customer #1 : “What do you mean, you don’t have anything! They called two days ago!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. If a prescription sits on our shelf for too long, we have to put it back on our stock shelf.”

Customer #1 : “It’s only been a week! That’s just stupid! Give me back my script! I’ll go to [rival store]! Only one week! Absurd!”

(I escort her to my co-worker, so that I may help the other customers in line.)

Customer #2 : “Oh, honey, I think I may have done the same thing and waited too long; can you check?”

Me: “Certainly, sir.”

(I check, and indeed his was placed back to stock as well.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m afraid so.”

(Customer #2 speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.)

Customer #2 : “Oh, shoot. IT’S PURELY MY FAULT FOR FORGETTING, EVEN AFTER Y’ALL WERE SO NICE TO CALL ME TWICE. Thank you, sugar; I’ll go talk to [co-worker].”

Prescription Affliction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 27, 2013
(I am a pharmacy technician. The pharmacist receives a call.)

Caller: “This is Lisa; I am calling from Dr. [Name]’s office. I need to call in a prescription for a patient.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, what is the patient’s name?”

Caller: “It is [Patient].”

Pharmacist: “And the prescription?”

Caller: “It’s [narcotic], 90 pills, three times a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, thanks.”

(The pharmacist hangs up and turns to me, frowning.)

Pharmacist: “Do you know anything about this?”

Me: “What? No, why?”

(The pharmacist shows me the called-in prescription.)

Me: “Oh! Lisa was fired months ago. You had better call the police.”

(When Lisa came in to pick up the narcotic prescription for her boyfriend, the police were there to arrest her. The doctor she used to work for is my father; she was trying to use his license number to get pills from a dozen nearby pharmacies.)

You Got Dad’s Back
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 26, 2013
(I am eight years old. My mother, father, and I are all in the chemist to get some medication. My father has a rare spinal condition which is causing him to wobble when he walks, even with a frame. We’re waiting at the counter and hear a customer behind us make a remark under their breath; deliberately loud enough for us to hear.)

Customer: “Drunk at nine am; you should be ashamed.”

(We try to ignore it.)

Customer: “This is disgusting; you should be so embarrassed.”

(I don’t like this person being rude to my father.)

Me: “Watch your tone lady. If you’d bother to be polite and ask if my father is okay, you’d know he has a special illness that makes him this way. He’s not drunk; he’s my father, and I love him. Now apologize for being so mean about him.”

(She went red, stammered, and went down an aisle. The pharmacist gave me a lollipop.)

One Good Deed Job-Leads To Another
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 28, 2013
(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)

Female Customer: “I’m sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?”

Me: “Of course!”

(While we’re waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they’re expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)

Pharmacist: “These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?”

Female Customer: “Oh, I have a horrible cough that’s making my back ache even worse. I can’t get to sleep.”

(The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)

Male Customer: “I’m sorry, I’ve just lost my job and we really can’t afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time.”

Pharmacist: “That’s okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can’t let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more.”

(The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)

Female Customer: “Thank you again!”

Other Customer: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?”

Male Customer: “Yes, I was an IT tech.”

Other Customer: “I own [other computer store in the area], and I’m looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?”

(There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)

Probably Needs Some Valium Too
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 17, 2013
(A customer comes into the drive thru.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want my Nexium.”

(She provides her information, but I see that nothing has been filled.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t see that we have anything ready for you.”

Customer: “This always f****** happens! I’ve been trying to get my f****** Nexium for a month! I dropped it off here a month ago!”

Me: “You dropped it off at this location?”

(I ask this, as there are many branches of our chain within a 10 mile radius of each other.)

Customer: “Yes, I only fill here!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no Nexium in your profile.”

Customer: “Yes their f****** is! This always f****** happens!”

(My coworker takes over, trying to calm her down. My manager has had enough of her mouth, and he goes to tell her off.)

Manager: “Ma’am! You have never filled here! It is not here! We have nothing for you!”

(The customer continues to curse up a storm. Another customer stares at the drive thru window, looking between it and me.)

Customer #2 : “That b**** be crazy.”

Me: “I agree, sir.”

(I suddenly hear the drive thru window slam, and the car speed away.)

Me: “Sorry you had to hear all that, sir.”

Customer #2 : “Nah it’s cool. Hey if something happens, I heard everything!”

It’s Apparent He’s A Parent
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 13, 2013
(My first child is sick and has been up all night crying with a fever. Before the store even opens, I am in the parking lot staring through the store window at the medicine I need with my sick, screaming baby. I can see and hear two employees nearby watching and making fun of me.)

Rude Employee #1 : “Oh my god, do you see that? That crack w**** is here with her crack baby so early in the morning! I thought those kinds of people only came out at night.”

Rude Employee #2 : “I guess you can never tell. I wonder what’s so important that she has to bring her screaming brat with her before we even open?”

(I ignore them as I wait patiently, but after another ten minutes my patience is wearing thin. I am about to tell them off when another employee walks up to the front doors and opens them.)

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, I know the store isn’t open for another twenty minutes, but I wanted to check on you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. My baby has had a fever all night and just won’t sleep! I only need something to help her fever so she’ll stop crying.”

Nice Employee: “I see. Would you come with me, please?”

(He opens the door for me and lets me into the store.)

Nice Employee: “Get what you need and I’ll meet you on register one to ring you out.”

Rude Employee #1 : “Hey! Don’t let that crack w**** in here. Her baby’s not sick! She’s just scamming you so she can shoplift!”

(Fortunately, the nice employee ignores them and helps me find what I need and walks me to the front of the store)

Nice Employee: “I’m sorry we let you wait out there so long. If I had known I would have gotten to you sooner. Unfortunately the registers are still not open, so I can’t ring you in, but I can let you go home with the medicine.”

Me: “But I have to pay for it. Let me at least leave some money here. You’ve been so nice; you can keep the extra as a tip.”

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, that’s very sweet of you, but I must insist you take your medicine and your sweet little girl home. As a single father, I have been in your shoes before, so I would like to pay for your baby’s medicine.”

Me: “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much!”

(I always go back to that store just because of that one nice employee. He totally makes up for the rude ones.)

Makes A Difference When Cashiers Are Minus A Few Brain Cells
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 8, 2013
(I’m buying a common cold medicine that is OTC, but you have to be 18 to buy. At the time, I’m 19.)

Cashier: “I need to see your ID.”

(I hand it to her.)

Cashier: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “What? Why not? ”

Cashier: “Well, I have to be able to verify you’re over 18.”

Me: “Is there a problem with my ID?”

Cashier: “You were born in 1989.”

Me: “Yes, and it’s 2008, so I’m 19.”

Cashier: “But you could be lying because I don’t know how to figure out how old you are if you were born in 1989. It’s too hard to subtract!”

Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 3, 2013
(A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

Me: “…aisle four.”