Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

How To Be A Divorcee By Five
BIZARRE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | WORKING | OCTOBER 28, 2017
(We have just switched to my husband’s insurance. He provides our information to HR, and it’s HR that actually provides it to the insurance company. I have a monthly-renewing prescription for birth control and this is the first time trying to pick it up under the new insurance.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] here to pick up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks at computer* “Okay. Can I get you to verify the address for me?”

Me: “It’s [address].”

Pharmacist: “Um… I’ll go ahead and give it to you today, since I see you all the time, but you need to contact your insurance, ASAP. They listed your date of birth as [correct month and day], 2016.”

(I have no idea how his HR managed to list me as his spouse at less than one year old.)

There Are Prescribed Lunch Breaks
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
(I work in a pharmacy as an intern, and on the weekends, we only have one pharmacist on duty. It is company policy that employees have to take their unpaid lunch by the fifth hour on the clock. This happens when our pharmacist is out to lunch.)

Tech: “Hello there. Are you picking up or dropping off?”

Patient: “Picking up.”

Tech: “I’m sorry, but our pharmacist is on lunch. We can’t sell any prescriptions without a pharmacist here.”

Patient: “Why the h*** not?!”

Tech: “I’m sorry, but it is against the law for us to do that.”

Patient: “Just give it to me! I drove all the way here!”

Tech: “I can’t; it’s against the law, and we have to have a pharmacist here.”

Patient: “There should always be a pharmacist here; it’s a pharmacy! Why the h*** aren’t they here?!”

Tech: “She’s on her lunch right now. She’ll be back at 1:30, but I can’t do anything until then.”

Patient: “I want to talk to a manager!”

Tech: *calls manager*

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do anything until the pharmacist comes back from lunch. She has to take her lunch, too.”

Patient: “I’m complaining to corporate. What is their number? This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “It’s [number].”

(The patient storms off as the manager just shrugs.)

Manager: “Call all you want. What are they gonna do? Fire me for following the law?”

Making Sure You All (Co)Pay Dearly
MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We bill prescriptions monthly, and always get angry phone calls a few days after statements go out.)

Me: “[Pharmacy], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Angry Man: “What kind of scam are you all running out there?”

Me: “Sir?”

Angry Man: “Do you think you’re going to get away with charging these outrageous prices? I should report you for robbery!”

Me: “If you have questions about any charges, I’d be happy to explain them to you.”

Angry Man: “As a matter of fact you can! I’d like to know why you’re charging me $50 for a month’s worth of [medication]!”

(I pull up the claim and go through my normal spiel of how we submit a claim to the insurance company, they respond with how much they’ll pay and how much of a copay we need to collect from the patient, and how we have no influence over the cost of the copay, as this is determined by the plan, etc.)

Angry Man: “Well then, how come I can go to [Other Pharmacy] and get three months’ worth for $150?”

Me: “Sir, that’s the same price.”

Angry Man: “You’re trying to tell me that $50 and $150 are the same thing? How stupid can you be to have your job?”

Me: *remembering to be professional and not sarcastic* “No, sir. I’m telling you that $50 for a 30 day supply and $150 for a 90 day supply is exactly the same price.”

Angry Man: “I can’t pay $50 every month for one prescription! I’ll go broke! I’m going to be using [Other Pharmacy] from now on so I can get more for a decent price! And I’m going up to [Nursing Home] and telling everyone there that you’re robbing them!”

Me: *slowly losing professionalism* “You have the right to use whatever pharmacy you like. If you feel the need to tell them that, I can’t stop you. But if they can do basic math, they’ll realize that copays are no different with us than they are anywhere else.”

Angry Man: “I know the tactics you people use to try to confuse me. You talk over my head hoping I’ll give up and pay your ridiculous price! You’re not going to fool me. I’m no dumb-a**!”

(At this point I was contemplating whether it would be worth the complaint I’d get if I said “Well, sir, you certainly could’ve fooled me,” but he slammed the phone down, making my decision for me. People are unbelievably dumb!)

Hoping It Was Some Off-Brand Humor
HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 20, 2017
(My mother has recently moved to a new area. Unfortunately, a week after moving she gets a bad bout of thrush. She goes to the local parade of shops where she has been told there is a pharmacy. Behind the counter is a younger woman dressed in the white coat of a pharmacist.)

Mother: *quietly, as she’s a little embarrassed* “Hello, I was wondering if I could buy some clotrimazole?”

Cashier: “Sorry, madam, I didn’t quite catch that. What were you after?”

Mother: “Clotrimazole, please?”

(The cashier is looking very confused at this point.)

Cashier: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”

Mother: “Clotrimazole, generic [Brand]?”

(The cashier at this point turns to her older colleague. My mother is getting frustrated as she is already embarrassed, and thrush is a fairly common problem, so she should be aware of at least the branded version.)

Older Colleague: “[Brand]? I don’t believe I’m familiar with that.”

Younger Cashier: “Is it for cats or dogs?”

(My mother just turned and walked out, too embarrassed to explain. The pharmacy was next door!)

Vets Need To Vet Their Pharmacists
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA, VET | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 17, 2017
(I take my sick dog to the vet and they don’t have the medicine he needs, so they send me to a store to pick it up from their pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog.”

Rep: “What’s the name?”

Me: “Well, my name is [My Name], but my dog is named Austin.”

Rep: “The medicine is for Austin? What’s Austin’s date of birth?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know what they would have for that; he is a rescue.”

Rep: “Do you have a phone number for Austin?”

Me: “My number is [number].”

Rep: “I don’t need your number. I need the patient’s number.”

Me: “He’s a golden retriever. He doesn’t have a number.”

Rep: “Look, I need information or I can’t give you anything. I can’t even find the prescription.”

Me: “It was called in by [Vet Hospital, with ‘Veterinary’ in the name].”

(The rep yells to the people behind him

Rep: “Did we get a call from a [Vet Hospital, but without the word ‘Veterinary’]?”

(I try to correct him, but he brushes me off and the other employees tell him no.)

Rep: “Look, try talking to someone at the drop off window. Right now, you can’t prove you even have a prescription.”

Me: “I don’t have a prescription, but my dog, Austin, does from his veterinarian.”

(The rep glares at me and points to the drop off window. I go over.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog, Austin, that my veterinarian called in.”

Drop-Off Pharmacist: “I have that here. What’s your phone number so I can verify?” *I provide it* “Okay, our customer service rep at the main register will check you out.”

(I get back in the first line with the same rep.)

Rep: “What’s this? They found it? Well, I still need you to verify Austin’s information, or call him to get it.”

Me: “Again, Austin is a dog. See? The medicine is listed for veterinary; there’s even a picture of a dog on the package.”

Rep: “Okay, you need to talk to the pharmacist.”

(He puts the medicine on the back counter. I wait five minutes and the pharmacist comes out.)

Pharmacist: “What questions do you have?”

Me: “None, actually. The vet said just to give him a pill twice a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay. [Rep], why did you call me up?”

Rep: “Is it even legal to give this to her? She doesn’t have the patient’s information.”

Pharmacist: “The patient is a dog. It’s fine.”

Rep: “A dog? Who needs medicine for a dog? Whatever, here.”

(He hands me the bag with the medication.)

Me: “I haven’t paid.”

Rep: “Yeah, you did; I rang you out.”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “This wasn’t paid for. Let me personally ring you out over here. I’m going to write down my information and the name of the other employee who helped you. If you have any questions, comments, or complaints, please send them to this email address. Please send them. We need to have a certain number of complaints before we can let an employee go.”

Enough To Make You Slap Your Forehead
PHARMACY, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 15, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. A patient is complaining about a spray she had bought a couple of days ago.)

Patient: “It did absolutely not work! It is a nasal spray for sinusitis! Since it contains cortisone, it should work!”

Me: “How do you use it?”

(I ask, since the biggest problem with stuff like this is that you usually use maybe too little, too much, or just plain wrong. She looks at me, a little offended.)

Patient: *sounding annoyed* “Well, I use it as the description says! Two sprays once a day!”

(I think long and hard about how it couldn’t have made any difference for her.)

Patient: “Besides, it gets so messy, and it doesn’t dry quickly at all!”

Me: *can’t wrap my brains about what she meant* “Can you please explain?”

(She took out the spray with a annoyed sigh and held it up against her forehead. She had used the nasal spray on her forehead. I tried my absolute hardest not to laugh and explained as professionally as I could that the spray for sinusitis is to be sprayed in your nose, and not on your forehead.)

You’ve Got Things Back To Front
CANADA, MANITOBA, PHARMACY, WINNIPEG | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 8, 2017
(At our pharmacy we have cashiers who run the till when customers pick up their prescriptions. The cashiers have no pharmacy school education. A woman is picking up an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.)

Customer: *in a loud voice* “I keep getting these urinary tract infections!”

Cashier: *awkwardly* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: *still very loud* “Do you think it’s because I wipe from back to front? They say you shouldn’t but I’ve done it all my life!”

Cashier: *trying very hard to remain professional* “Er… I really couldn’t say.”

(Meanwhile the rest of the staff are trying very hard not to laugh out loud.)

Acting Narcotic Robotic
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 5, 2017
(I have an invisible chronic illness, Chronic Pancreatitis, that was caused by complications from gallbladder surgery a few years back. I am on tons of medication on a daily basis just so I can function normally and work a demanding full-time job. One of these medications is a narcotic; because of the multitudes who abuse it, a lot of judgement is passed on those who legitimately need it.)

Me: “Hi there! Just need to get this filled.”

(I hand my prescription over to a pharmacist that I don’t recognize. These prescriptions are very specific for when you can fill them, and are dated accordingly. Everything on mine is legit, as I literally just left the doctor’s office.)

Pharmacist: *takes a long time to look at it, and keeps looking back up at me* “Are you sure it’s time to fill this again?”

Me: “Um… Well, yeah. I just picked that up from my doctor, and the fill date is listed. You can also check your system, because this is the only pharmacy I use.”

(The pharmacist gives me a weird look and says it’ll be ten minutes, so I go sit down to wait. A few minutes later I hear her on the phone, and I don’t really pay any attention until I hear her say my name. Turns out she is calling my doctor’s office to verify it, the whole time shooting nasty sideways looks at me. Okay, totally fine; I know they have to be careful and check these things, so I brush it off. A couple minutes later when I walk up to the counter to pick it up

Pharmacist: “You know, this stuff is really bad for you. You shouldn’t be taking this.”

Me: *stunned* “Well, it helps me stay upright so I can work. Haha.”

Pharmacist: “My sister was on this and it was horrible. I would have to tell her all the time about how bad it was and that she had to get off of it, and she was addicted. It was really bad and she had such a hard time. You shouldn’t be taking this!”

Me: “Well, I’m going to let my doctor decide that. Can I check out now, please?”

(I understand how many people get hooked on narcotics, and the rising epidemic in this country, but they do have benefits that people like myself need. I don’t even think this lady was worried about the bigger social issue; I think she just got it into her head that it was a horrible medication from her bad experience with her sister. I’m sorry, lady; you are a pharmacist who should know better, and until you gain your medical doctorate and start practicing gastroenterology, keep your opinions about my treatment to yourself!)

Cancer Is A Crime
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and am on numerous medications, including morphine and oxycodone for the pain I am in. I’m pretty skinny and pale and not looking healthy after six months of chemotherapy. I go to my normal pharmacy with my paper prescription to get filled and a new pharmacy tech, or at least one I’ve never seen in the six months I’ve frequented this place, greets me. I hand him my paperwork, and he starts to type in into his computer, and then looks at me and says

Pharmacy Tech: “I see you’ve been getting these pills for a few months now, and you’re refilling them on the same date every month. You can’t fill this if you’re just going to sell them on the street for your drug money.”

(My jaw drops, and he hands my prescription back to me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “I’m calling the police now, sir, so don’t run off.”

(He then goes to the phone and starts dialing. The pharmacist sees me through their little window and waves at me, I see her a lot when I’m there and she’s helped consult me on the timing of taking my meds so I don’t make myself sick. I wave her over.)

Pharmacist: “Hi!”

Me: “You may want to talk to your new guy. He’s calling the cops on me.”

(She turns around and sees him on the phone.)

Pharmacist: “What are you doing?”

Pharmacy Tech: *covers the receiver* “This junkie is trying to get pills to sell. I’m calling the cops.”

(She rips the phone out of his hand and yells at him.)

Pharmacist: “He has cancer, you idiot!”

(He went pale. She sent him away and hung up the phone. I got my refills, and I never saw that guy again.)

Digger-ing Yourself Into A Hole
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was called in.)

Tech: “Can I help you?”

Me: “I need to pick up for [Last Name].”

Tech: *types into computer* “First name?”

Me: “Digger.”

Tech: “Digger?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The tech give me a funny look and goes into the back. He returns with the medicine in hand.)

Tech: “So, you can’t drive while taking this. Also, you cannot drink alcohol while taking this. I will need you to sign saying you understand those restrictions.”

Me: *laughing* “No problem.”

Tech: “I need a date of birth.”

Me: “October 2015. I don’t know the day.”

Tech: “You don’t know your child’s birthdate?”

Me: “It’s not my child.”

Tech: “I’m not going to be able to fill this.”

Me: “I need the pharmacist. Now.”

(The pharmacist comes out and asks what the problem is.)

Tech: “She’s picking up this medicine but she doesn’t know the birthdate and then she says it isn’t her child.”

Pharmacist: *takes bag and reads label* “Look at this name.”

(The tech looks and still doesn’t seem to understand.)

Pharmacist: “The patient is named Digger K9 [Last Name]. That means it’s for her dog. Lots of people don’t know their dog’s birthday.”

Tech: “How was I supposed to know?”

Pharmacist: “I’ll finish this. Go wait in the office for me.”

(When I went to get his refill, the same tech handled the transaction. He commented that it was a really big dose for a toddler. Pretty sure whatever the pharmacist said — it didn’t help.)

Graduated Up To A Personalized Service
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2017
(I am picking up my medicine and in order to do so, you must give your name and birth date, including year.)

Clerk: “Name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Clerk: “Birthday?”

Me: “[Date].”

Clerk: “That’s the same day I graduated. To the day.”

Me: “And year. Next time you ask, I’m just going to say, ‘the exact day you graduated.’”

The Sad Estate Of This Family
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We service patients in nursing homes, assisted living, etc. and bill prescription costs monthly. Of course, this means we have trouble with people not paying their bill. Part of my job is to make collections calls. I hear all kinds of excuses, but this was a first.)

Man: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Pharmacy]. Is [Person #1 ] available?”

Man: “Nope, he’s in jail over in [County].”

Me: *not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that… I also have [Person #2 ] listed as an authorized contact. May I speak with her?”

Man: “Nope, can’t talk to her either. She’s dead.”

Me: *now REALLY not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that, too. I’m calling in reference to [Patient]’s account. Who could I speak with that handles [Patient]’s finances?”

Man: “Not him. He’s dead now, too. His wife’s still living but she’s got ‘all-timers’ disease so she won’t be much help.”

Me: *basically at a loss for words at this point* “There must be someone handling [Patient]’s estate. Who would that be?”

Man: “Couldn’t tell you. The only one I know of that’s not dead, locked up, or crazy is [Person #3 ]. She’s probably the best you’re going to get.”

(Turned out [Person #3 ] was extremely nice and helpful, and promptly sent a check for the full balance. She must have been the shining star in a family of “dead, locked up, and crazy!”)

Obviously Not Stressing It Enough
OREGON, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 26, 2017
(My doctor has prescribed me a four-month supply of a new medicine, to see if it will help with my migraines. I get it filled for the first two months at my local pharmacy without a problem, but the third month I am told I have to call my insurance to sort out a problem. After fighting my way through the automated system and identifying myself

Me: “My pharmacy told me that I need to call you about one of my meds.”

Operator: “Yes, it looks like that has been flagged as a ‘maintenance medication’ in our system, so it can only be filled at a regular pharmacy twice. After that it needs to be filled as a three-month supply via mail order.”

(This is news to me, but then again, it is a new insurance plan, so I am not that familiar with it.)

Me: “Okay, but I only have two more months on this medication; my doctor just gave me a four-month script to see if it works for me.”

Operator: “Yes, you just need to get set up on our online system to get it in a three-month supply.”

Me: “That’s the problem: I don’t have three months left on it. Can I get a two-month supply?”

Operator: No, it has to be a three-month supply because it is a ‘maintenance medication.'”

Me: “But I only have two more months on this prescription; it’s a trial to see if it works.”

Operator: “That’s fine; just get set up on our online system and you can get a three-month supply from now on.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I probably won’t be on this that long, and my prescription is only for two more months. Are you saying I need to go to my doctor and get a new three-month prescription in order to fill my last two months?”

Operator: “No, you keep the same prescription; just order a three-month supply online. Do you need the website address?”

Me: “No, I think I need a new prescription, because mine is only for another two months.”

Operator: “No, it must be three months.”

Me: “So, I need to get a new prescription from my doctor for three-months’ worth, or stop taking it now?”

Operator: “No, just enter your prescription online and select ‘three-month supply.'”

Me: “But I don’t have three months left on this medication.”

Operator: *sighs loudly* “I can give you a one-time exception to pick up this month from your pharmacy, but after that you really need to start getting it in a three-month supply via mail order.”

(I decided three months would have to be enough of a trial on that medication; it wasn’t working anyway, and that phone call to get more definitely triggered a stress migraine.)

The Tale Is In The Yelling
ALABAMA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 25, 2017
(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)

Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”

Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear

Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at me!”

A Prescription By Any Other Name
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2017
(I go to my local pharmacy to drop off a prescription. As most pharmacies are, it is very busy with a full waiting area and they tell me there will be a wait for my medication. I browse the store for a while until I hear my name called over the intercom, and then get back in line to pick up the prescription. An elderly man who is also waiting for a prescription gets up from his chair and approaches me.)

Patient: “Are you Veronica? They just called a Veronica; are you her?”

(They definitely did not just call anyone named Veronica, and my name sounds nothing like Veronica, although they both do end in the letter ‘A.’)

Me: “Uh, no, sir, I’m not Veronica but my prescription is ready.”

Patient: “Well, if you’re not Veronica then your prescription is not ready so get out of line and wait like the rest of us!”

Me: “Sir, they called my name and I am going to pick up my prescription. Even if they didn’t I’m not cutting anyone in line or making anyone else wait longer, so please don’t shout at me.”

(At this point he started telling the whole waiting room that I was not Veronica and I was trying to steal Veronica’s prescription, but he was actually speaking very calmly so no one really paid him any mind. They called me up to the desk and I got my medication, and let them know the man seemed slightly agitated and might need some help. As I was leaving I heard him arguing with the pharmacy technician, saying “But she’s NOT VERONICA!”)

Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 14, 2017
(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”

Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”

Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”

Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”

Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*

Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*

Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”

Unfiltered Story #101515
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 8, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. It’s just me and two other people today, so I am in charge of customer initial contact.)

Me: *standing at the computer, hears heavy breathing come my way from the other side of the store*

Customer: *leans in the counter exhausted and breathing heavy* “Hey, hold on let me rest right quick.” *breathing heavy and sweating and smells like wet dog*

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Can I get my pain pills filled?”

Me: “Yeah, I can get it filled.”

(My manager immediately comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed in this store. I watched you stealing just last week.”

Customer: *appalled* “It wasn’t me, it was my daughter. She looks exactly like me with her hair tied up.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I watched YOU steal it. Your daughter came to you to ask to take it and you put it in your purse.”

Customer: “I’m going to kick her a**! The same thing happened to me at the other store; it is always happening to me.”

(She walks out cursing while all three of us are watching her leave to make sure she doesn’t go off.)

Me: “If you keep getting caught, stop stealing. Easy fix.”

Manager: “She is an a** anyway.”

That’s What I (N)Said
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 14, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

Customer: *holding a box of OTC medication* “Excuse me. My wife is allergic to the Niacide family.”

Me: “Pardon? Do you mean NSAIDs?”

Customer: “No! NIACIDES!”

(I give him a puzzled look.)

Customer: “You know, ibuprofen and stuff!”

Me: “Right… NSAIDs.”

Customer: “Oh, whatever. Can she take this or not?”

(Then he showed me a box of acetaminophen.)

Benzo Combo No No
PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)

Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”

Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”

Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”

Me: “Bad combo?”

Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”

(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”

Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”

Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”

Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”

Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”

Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”

Doctor: “All right, sure.”

(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)

Who Prescribed Some Madness?
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 4, 2018
(We have a new member of staff at the pharmacy and we’ve got a number of regulars who come in to get their weekly medications, often quite a few items. This employee somehow gets it into her head that anyone with a weekly prescription is a drug abuser. One of our regulars is on a lot of different pain medications.)

Regular: “Good morning! I’m here to pick up my prescriptions. My name is [Regular].”

(The new staff member goes out to the back of the store and comes back out a few minutes later.)

New Staff: “No, there isn’t anything.”

Regular: “I pick this up every week, and I know I have at least three months’ worth of repeats for all these from the doctor.”

New Staff: “No. No, we have nothing.”

Regular: *spotting our pharmacist who knows her very well* “Hi, [Pharmacist]! Got my weekly meds?”

Pharmacist: “Oh, yeah. I did them yesterday—”

New Staff: “No! No, you didn’t. We have nothing!” *to Regular* “You need to leave; we have nothing for you!”

Pharmacist: “Don’t be daft. I’ll go fetch them.” *heads to the back and comes out with a large bag* “Can I just check your address and date of birth?”

Regular: *gives details*

Pharmacist: “Yup, here you go. See you next week!”

New Staff: “I told her we had nothing! Why did you make me look like a liar?!”

Pharmacist: “Because you were lying? [Regular] comes in every week and I always have her meds done.”

New Staff: “I saw what she’s on. She’s a f****** druggie. You shouldn’t enable these people.”

Regular: “I beg your pardon?”

Pharmacist: “Okay, we do not treat customers like that. Whatever personal views you have on certain medications, you leave those views at home.”

New Staff: “She’s a druggie. Why would anyone else need [strong pain medication]?”

Regular: “Because half my lower spine was smashed in an accident and I live in constant, agonising pain?”

New Staff: “Shut up, druggie.”

Pharmacist: “Right. That’s it. Go home.”

(She was fired that day, and officially cautioned by the police when for two weeks afterward she kept hanging around the pharmacy entrance waiting for our regular customer so she could yell at them some more. We know this because she told EVERY other customer entering our store. Luckily, our regular has a good sense of humour and just laughed off the whole episode.)