Why Do We Even Have Those Things?
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | March 22, 2021
I am the author of this story. I have another story that involves my sweet-tempered and loving son. We are at the doctor’s office. My son has a condition where the usual treatment is penicillin, which he is highly allergic to. The doctor comes in, asks some questions, and then walks out to get some medicine and a needle.
The doctor walks back in, grabs an alcohol wipe, and starts swabbing my son with it, and then she starts to edge the needle close to him.
Son: “Um, what is that?”
Doctor: “Oh, it’s just penicillin. Nothing to worry about.”
My son pulls his arm away, and I am instantly ticked.
Me: “He can’t have penicillin! He’s allergic!”
Doctor: “Well, sorry! How was I supposed to know?”
Son: “It’s on my chart!”
Doctor: “It’s not my job to look at that!”
Me: “What the f*** is your job, then?!”
Our shouting brought another doctor into the room, and when he heard the story, he told the first doctor to wait in his office. He gave my son a different treatment option, which we took. We switched to him shortly after, and now that previous doctor glares at us every time we go there!
That Part Of The Body NEVER Made Men Wise
Dentist, Health & Body, Sons & Daughters, USA | Related | October 18, 2019
(My son has just gotten his wisdom teeth pulled, and he’s still loopy from the drugs. He starts crying.)
Son: “Dad, they cut my penis off.”
Me: “No, they didn’t, son.”
Son: “Are you sure?
Me: “I promise, it’s still there. I wouldn’t let them cut your penis off.”
My Brother: “They tried, but he put up a fight.”
Me: *nudges him* “It’s still there.”
Son: *reaches down his pants* “THANK GOD! I STILL HAVE IT! DAD’S A HERO!”
(He doesn’t remember any of this, but my brother loves teasing him about it.)
Back Pain Sufferers, There Is Hope!
Awesome, Doctor/Physician, Florida, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | May 6, 2021
I’m twenty. For the past few months, I’ve been getting experience in my major field by working long hours in a lab, counting out microscopic worms on Petri dishes. It’s not difficult or too taxing, but I’ve noticed lately that the way I have to sit to reach the scopes has triggered some lower back pain around the center of my hips. I try to ignore it for about three weeks, as my father just laughs when I mention it and I’m worried that my doctor, the pediatrician I’ve seen since birth, will do the same because of my young age and lack of strenuous activity.
It gets to the point that I can barely walk and every few seconds, a shooting pain jumps down from my back to the front of my knee. It’s beyond anything I’ve ever felt, before or since. The spasms keep me at night, and when I wake up one morning to discover that I can’t lean forward or backward more than a few millimeters, I finally go in to see the doctor. As my main doctor isn’t in that day, I’m paired with a new doctor in the practice I’ve never met before. She’s much younger than the others I’ve seen and is incredibly pleasant.
Doctor: “So, I’ve heard you’ve been having back spasms?”
Me: “Yeah. I know, I know, I’m too young to have a back problem. I haven’t had any big jolts to the system or anything, nothing more stressful than sitting in a lab all day, but no matter what I do, I can’t shake this. I didn’t want to bother you guys during the flu season with what’s probably just a stupid pulled muscle but I haven’t slept for two nights now. Laying down or sitting up seems to make it worse, and the over-the-counter painkillers don’t put a dent in it.”
Doctor: “Hey, it’s no problem at all! In fact, I wish you had come in a bit sooner! Back spasms can be really serious, so let’s see if we can figure this out.”
The doctor chats with me about what I’ve done so far to ease the pain and what showed any improvement or made it worse and puts me through some simple range of movement exercises
Doctor: “Okay, I’m going to do a few little tests that should confirm my suspicions about this. I’m going to be putting my thumbs at those little dimples you get at your lower back, okay? Just tell me if it hurts, and which side hurts most.”
I feel something akin to a nail being driven into the area she’s touching.
Me: “Holy moth— Left! Left side! Haha, ouch, Doc.”
Doctor: “Sorry! Sorry, just one more. Pop up there, lay down, and cross your right ankle over your left knee.”
When I lay down, my entire pelvis should be an inch closer to the ground than it is, and I mention it to her.
Doctor: “That’s normal if this last one gives us a positive sign. When I push down on your right knee here, is there—”
Me: “Pain?! Yes. Yes, there is.”
Doctor: “Positive sign! With how long you’ve let this go, it may be too tight for me to fix this here without you doing some home stretches first, but I’ll give it a shot if you’d like?”
Me: “Please, yes. Anything. Feed me to a lion if it would make this stop hurting so much.”
The doctor moves my left leg off the table to hang down the side and shifts my body so my hip also hangs off and instructs me to push up against her downward force on my left knee. My pelvic area makes an ungodly loud cracking sound that can probably be heard in the lobby as it feels like my entire pelvis drops down that missing inch. I fully expect extreme pain.
Me: “AAAGH— Oh, hang on.”
I sit up without difficulty.
Me: “Holy crap. It’s a little sore, but holy crap! You’re a miracle worker! What did you do?! I could kiss you right now!”
Doctor: *Laughing* “I put your sacroiliac joint back in alignment. It’s common for women to have problems with it, though it’s usually after childbirth or an impact accident like a car crash.”
Me: “Yeesh, no chance of that here, and I’ve never been in a wreck.”
Doctor: “Well, it’s unusual, but long periods of sitting in some positions can stress the ligaments and allow the joint to move out of alignment bit by bit. Please, if it ever starts to flare up again, don’t wait so long to come in! It should be manageable with targeted stretching exercises, and I’ll grab you our printout of the ones that should help, but don’t let it get this out of control next time!”
The next day, after a very good night’s sleep, I wrote two letters: one to the head of the clinic commending the doctor for her quick diagnosis and solution, and another to the doctor herself thanking her profusely for taking me seriously right off the bat and being so delightfully friendly during the whole appointment, despite it being a last-minute walk-in. I delivered them with snacks and chocolates for the staff and thoroughly enjoyed showing them how I could once again move without pain. I had to leave their practice once I aged out earlier this year, but I’ve never had a better experience with any other doctor.
What A Bunny Misunderstanding
Doctor/Physician, El Paso, Funny, Restaurant, Texas, USA | Healthy | April 23, 2021
This happened when I was in high school in the 1970s. We had just finished our production of “Harvey” and had gone to the local twenty-four-hour chain restaurant. We were all still in costume and, as I played the sanitarium assistant, I was wearing what appeared to be medical-type clothing. As I walked into the restaurant, a little behind my fellow cast members, a guy came up to me.
Guy: “Is everyone in the accident all right?”
I had no clue why he asked me that, so I just looked at him and said:
Me: “I don’t know.”
And I went to join everybody.
As I sat down, I noticed that there were cops and an ambulance a few blocks down the street. That’s when it hit me: he thought I was a real ambulance attendant!
I can only imagine what he thought, a first responder going into a restaurant when there were injured people to deal with. My other thought was, “I’m sixteen; do I look like an adult to you?”
Forgot Her HIPAA-Cratic Oath
Call Center, Doctor/Physician, Florida, Insurance, Jerk, USA | Right | April 21, 2021
I’m a provider phone representative for an insurance company. I take calls from providers’ offices verifying benefits and claim status for their patients. Usually, you’re talking to the people at the front desk, almost never the doctors, but today I get a call from an actual doctor. After I verify her tax ID:
Doctor: “I’d like to check benefits for a patient, [Patient].”
Me: “Sure! Could I have his member ID, please?”
Doctor: “It’s [ID].”
The patient doesn’t come up. I ask her to spell his name, and I try looking him up that way. No matter what I do, I can’t find him. This doctor is losing her mind.
Me: “Are you sure he’s with [Our Company]?”
Doctor: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! YES, HE IS! HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ABLE TO FIND HIM?!”
Me: “Doctor [Last Name], I’ve tried everything, and he’s just not found. I don’t know what else to tell you other than speak to him.”
The doctor rants and raves for another minute, and then, abruptly:
Doctor: “Wait, is this [Other Health Insurance Company]?”
Me: “No, this is [Our Company].”
Doctor: “Oh. I called the wrong insurance.” *Click*
No apology for her mistake or her behavior. Bearing her tantrum and wonderful listening skills in mind — I had TOLD her what insurance company she had called — it was more than a little ironic that she was a psychologist. Doctor, heal thyself.
The Squeaky Migraine Gets The Grease
Awesome, Current Events, Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, USA, Vancouver, Washington | Healthy | March 25, 2021
Despite the fact that I’m at very high risk of death from a certain health-crisis-related illness, I’m unable to get a vaccine since my state has not prioritized people like me. I complain about this to anyone who brings it up.
Upon the third day of waking up with a migraine, I go to urgent care where there is also a vaccine site. For their records, they ask if I’ve gotten the vaccine yet. I proceed with my usual rant about it even though I feel terrible. After two different injections for the migraine, I finally feel better and go home.
That afternoon the physician’s assistant I saw earlier calls me. The vaccine clinic has extra doses and she offers to hold one for me if I can be there in half an hour. Of course, I say yes and race back there.
And that’s the story of my two visits to urgent care in one day, three shots, a very nice and caring PA, and the only time I’ve ever been happy to have a three-day migraine.
We Hope This Story Goes Viral!
Doctor/Physician, Liars/Scammers, Medical Office, Singapore | Healthy | March 18, 2021
I’m seeing a gynaecologist at a private clinic because the general polyclinics in Singapore don’t have the specific type of birth control I want. The doctor is a woman and seems okay on the first visit.
Doctor: “And what do you do for a living?”
Me: “I’m a virologist; I work for a vaccine development company.”
On the second visit, she tries to hard-sell me the HPV vaccine. In many countries, it’s given to teenagers for free, but it’s very expensive to buy out of pocket privately.
Me: “I don’t think I need it because I’m married and my husband didn’t have any sex partners before.”
Doctor: “No, but once you become sexually active, the HPV can fly through the air and infect you at any time.”
This is complete nonsense; HPV is not airborne.
Me: “Remember last time when I said I’m a virologist working in vaccine research and development?”
Scars Just Mean It Didn’t Kill Ya!
Australia, Doctor/Physician, Home, New South Wales, Sons & Daughters | Healthy | March 16, 2021
I was born breech but was delivered naturally. The obstetrician had to use forceps at the end to get my head out, and it obviously left injuries on my face.
Shortly after my birth, my mum is meeting some friends who are seeing me for the first time. One sees the wounds from the forceps.
Friend: “Are you going to sue the doctor?”
Mum: “What? No! Why would I?”
Friend: “He’s scarred your daughter! Look at her!”
Mum: “[My Name] was born perfectly fine thanks to [Obstetrician]’s knowledge and skills. She was breech. Do you have any idea how dangerous that can be? Scars are the least of my worries!”
I still have the scars from the forceps nearly thirty years later. They don’t bother me at all.
Did… Did It Work?
Bizarre, Current Events, Doctor/Physician, Malaysia, Religion, Silly | Healthy | March 14, 2021
This is a story my colleague told me about his uncle. His uncle is rather superstitious and believes in a lot of weird things. When he tests positive for a certain rapidly spreading illness, his first reaction is to go to a bomoh — Malaysian witch-doctor — for an exorcism. For various reasons, my colleague is stuck accompanying his uncle to the bomoh.
Bomoh: “Okay, I can exorcise you. Hold still, please.”
Uncle: “Okay.”
Bomoh: “Begone, evil spirits!”
He pulls out a toy laser gun and points it at [Uncle]’s head.
Bomoh: “All-laaah!”
Typing this out does not give it justice. The way my colleague repeated it, it sounded like a mix of singsong, bombastic, and high.
Rise Like A Very Confused Phoenix
Canada, Doctor/Physician, Ontario, Vet | Healthy | March 10, 2021
My indoor tabby cat is ten years old. Recently, we had a little health scare with him that got so bad we thought we were going to lose him. Luckily, he pulled through. We decided from then on we were going to take him for regular vet checks. Yes, I know we should have been taking him regularly before.
After having a bad experience with one clinic, we are recommended to a better clinic. They are great with my boy and super nice.
After the first visit, I talk to the vet.
Vet #1 : “Phoenix is in great health. His ticker is good, his teeth are great, and he is very well-behaved. Since he is ten now, I’d like you to put him on senior food.”
Six months later, we go back to the vet to get some vaccines.
Vet #2 : “I am really concerned about Phoenix’s teeth. He has some bad gingivitis; you won’t be able to see it if you looked but I have a trained eye so I can see it. Also, why do you have him on a senior food?”
You’ll Knock That Migraine Out Real Good
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, USA | Healthy | March 5, 2021
I get migraines that can take me out for days. Before the headache sets in, I lose sensation in the left side of my body, followed by nausea and vomiting, and then tunnel vision. It is impossible for me to work when it gets to this point, so I try to take care of it as soon as the first symptoms start.
I get to work early to set up and start losing sensation in my neck and shoulder on the left. I immediately take all the meds my doctor tells me to, hoping it’s not too late. I ask the front desk to cancel my first client so I can go to the urgent care next door and see if they can do anything.
I turn off a few lights in the exam room to ease the pain and try to focus on the poster in front of me. It is a PSA on “How to prescribe opioids properly.” I grew up in a place where opioid addiction is an epidemic and have lost many friends to overdoses.
The doctor finally comes in and switches on all the lights.
Doctor: “I’m going to give you something for the nausea and twenty-two Percocet.”
I stare at him in disbelief. Twenty-two Percocet for a migraine? He sees my look.
Doctor: “Okay, twenty-four, then, and here’s a note for work.”
I was too upset and flabbergasted to say much more but I took the scripts and left. I went back to work and explained what had happened and that I needed to go home. One of my coworkers offered to sell my script!
I lost it on them and took an Uber home and just slept it off. I just couldn’t believe the doctor’s reaction or my coworker’s lack of awareness.
Yeah, But I Don’t See How That’s Any Of Your Business
Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | March 3, 2021
It’s the early 2000s and I’m eighteen. I have been taking birth control, but my period is late and my boyfriend and I are worried. I make an appointment with my general practitioner.
Now, regardless of my personal life choices, she should be professional, right?
Nope. The first thing she says when she walks in the room is:
Lazy Medical Work Is Infectious
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, Nurses, USA | Healthy | March 2, 2021
I have a lump under my chin that has been swollen to the size of a blueberry for three months. I finally go see my doctor, who refers me to a specialist.
Specialist: “Oh, that’s no good at all. Three months, you say? We should remove it as soon as possible. It could be cancerous.”
Scared, I agree and am set up to have the surgery two weeks hence. I go in for pre-surgery bloodwork one week after the specialist appointment.
The very young nurse assigned to take my blood does not clean the skin, use a tourniquet, put on gloves, or even feel around for a vein. She looks, stabs, and fails to get blood.
Then, she walks out of the room, leaving the needle stuck in my arm. The very professional older nurse who comes in next is able to draw blood easily, but I am left with a bruise taking up my entire forearm from the first nurse’s attempt. I suspect she was a very nervous student.
One week later, I come in for my surgery. I’m missing both a college exam and a few days of work for this. They start the IV and give me the first level of anesthesia, sending me to sleep.
I wake up. I yawn and find it immediately suspicious that there is no discomfort when I do so.
Nurse: “I’m sorry, but your doctor is actually out of town. She is teaching a seminar. This was her usual surgery day, but it was blocked. I don’t know how you got put on the schedule, but we can fit you in again in two weeks.”
I agree. Three days later, I cut the back of my thumb fairly deeply on a plastic notebook divider in class. I immediately leave to wash my hands and use my first aid kit to put antiseptic and a bandaid on it.
The following morning, I notice a red line creeping up from my thumb. In the next two hours, it has gotten all the way to my wrist. My first class of the day is with the same professor whose class I was in when I cut myself, and my second class of the day is three hours later with the same professor.
Me: “Hey, Professor, remember how I cut myself in class yesterday and then washed it? Yeah, I think it got infected anyway.”
Professor: “Oh, my gosh. Yeah, go to the student clinic right now. I won’t count it against you if you miss class later. I’ll email you any relevant information if you’re not there. Be safe.”
At the student clinic, they give me two different antibiotic injections, two oral antibiotic prescriptions, and instructions to go to the emergency room if the red line keeps progressing.
A few days later, it is now a week after I was supposed to have surgery. Not only has my thumb infection been defeated, but the suspicious lump is also gone. I call the specialist’s office to tell them this. Surprisingly, I get to talk to the doctor herself, not just one of the nurses.
Me: “So, I got a badly infected cut and the lump went away. What does that mean regarding my surgery?”
Specialist: “Oh, yeah, I’m reviewing your bloodwork, and based on that, it looks like you just had a low-level infection that had isolated itself in a minor lymph node, causing the swelling. If you had gotten an ultrasound, we would have been able to tell that.”
Me: “You didn’t offer me an ultrasound, though! You told me it was probably cancer and should come out immediately!”
Specialist: “Based upon the shape and size of it and what I have in my notes here, it was more likely to have been a benign tumor, not a cancerous one. If you had gotten an ultrasound, I would’ve been able to tell it was neither of those things.”
Me: “You didn’t offer me an ultrasound! I didn’t even know that was an option!”
Specialist: “Well, would you still like to have it removed?”
Me: “No! It’s totally gone and you’re telling me it was just a swollen lymph node! Please cancel my surgery. I’ll call the hospital tomorrow to make sure I’m off the schedule.”
A month later, I get a bill from the hospital for the surgery I never had as well as for the anesthesia I did have. My father works at that hospital. Armed with my lab results, which he is qualified to interpret, and my bill, he stays late after his shift to talk to the billing department for me.
They inform him that they can take off the surgical fees, but that the anesthesia will not be covered by the insurance.
Father: “Any doctor could look at these lab results and tell you that cancer is unlikely. The white blood cell types are all wrong for that. In addition, the only reason the surgery wasn’t performed at that time was because the doctor was literally out of the country. If this bill doesn’t get written off, my daughter will be suing both the hospital and the specialist for everything she possibly can.”
They saw reason, and I never had to pay anything for that fiasco. Over a decade later, that same lymph node still gets swollen every time I’m fighting off an illness. Multiple doctors have assured me it is fine and can even act as an early-warning system that I am getting sick.
I never went back to that specialist, or that hospital, ever again.
We’d Be Seriously Pee-ved
Colorado, Doctor/Physician, Hypocrisy, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | February 23, 2021
I am seeing my primary care physician.
Doctor: “You really need to start taking a multivitamin.”
The following year, I see them again.
Doctor: “Why on earth are you taking a multivitamin?! All you’re doing is making your pee expensive.”
Some People Are Just Born For It
Australia, Doctor/Physician, Funny Names, Medical Office, Optometrist/Optician, Queensland | Healthy | February 19, 2021
When my nan was still alive, she had a doctor that she had been going to for many years. He was a nice bloke, friendly, and competent at his job.
Fat People Deserve Better
Bigotry, California, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Los Angeles, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | February 18, 2021
I’m having chest pains after eating, and it finally becomes bad enough that I go to the doctor. I’m a rather tall 240 pounds. I’m sitting in the exam area waiting for someone to come in when the doctor walks in, looking at a chart.
Doctor: “Mr. [My Name], your problem is that you’re grossly… Wait. You’re 6’9″. I was going to say that you’re obese but you’re not, are you? I guess I’d better examine you.”
After actually examining me and talking to me, I get meds for GERD. But he sure was quick to dismiss me in the beginning.
Probably Something Like “Funny Meme Go Brrr”
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | February 8, 2021
I’m at my yearly wellness visit. I’ve been having an eczema flare that is showing up on my eyelids. It has never shown up there before, so I figure I’ll ask my doctor what I can use on it. However, he’s decided that something on his laptop is more important than my appointment.
Doctor: *Staring at his laptop* “So, no concerns today?”
Me: “Uh, no. I do have one.”
Doctor: “Uh-huh.”
Me: “I think my main concern today is my eczema.”
Doctor: *Typing something* “Uh-huh.”
Me: “It’s showing up on my eyelids. It’s never done that before. Is that normal?”
Doctor: *Still typing* “Put some steroid cream on it.”
Me: “On my eyelids?!”
No response.
Me: “Are you listening to me?”
Doctor: *Looks up* “Did you say something?”
I sigh loudly.
Me: “I have eczema on my eyelids. It’s very itchy. What facial moisturizer do you recommend?”
Doctor: “You can use steroid cream on your eyelids.”
Me: “But the tube says not to.”
Doctor: *Starts typing again* “Steroid cream. It’ll clear it right up. Now, if we’re done here…”
I do not put steroid cream on my eyelids. I make an appointment with my eye doctor and tell him the issue.
Me: “…and I did bring it up to my primary care doctor, but all he said was to put steroid cream on it. It’s on my eyelids!”
My eye doctor literally drops his pen and notepad and stares at me.
Eye Doctor: “You didn’t actually put steroid cream on your eyelids, did you?!”
Me: “Of course not. The tube says not to.”
Eye Doctor: “Good. The eyelid skin is much too thin for that. I recommend an unscented facial moisturizer or hydrating eye cream. [Brand] is good for sensitive skin. Geez, what was your doctor thinking?!”
You’d Butter Forget Those Old Wives’ Tales
Advice, Doctor/Physician, Friends, Home, Illinois, Stupid, USA | Healthy | January 31, 2021
One Christmas Eve, when I was eleven, I decided to make myself some tea. I put a pan of water on the stove and tried to turn on the burner on our gas stove. The burner wasn’t igniting and so I moved the pan and bent over to check if the pilot went out. Just as I bent over, the burner flared to life and caught my hair and my ear on fire.
I panicked and ran screaming into our front room where my mom was visiting with a friend. My mom stood up and literally smacked the fire out with her hand.
Mom’s Friend: “Put butter on it!”
My mom ignored her and got a wet, cool washcloth for me to put on it.
Mom’s Friend: “[Mom], you should put butter on it.”
After about a minute, my mom took a look at my ear and made the decision to take me to the hospital.
Mom’s Friend: “She doesn’t need a hospital, just butter.”
No butter was used and we went to the hospital. I was seen fairly quickly and it turned out that I had second- and third-degree burns on my ear. Normally, they would want to admit someone with the burns I had, just to be safe, but since it was a holiday and I was a kid, they let me go home with some special burn cream and painkillers.
Before we left, my mom mentioned to the doctor how her friend kept telling her to put butter on the burn. He was aghast. He wrote a note on the paper they used for sick notes for my mom’s friend detailing why not to put butter on a burn. I was kind of out of it when I got home, so I don’t know if my mom ever gave her friend that note, but I don’t remember her ever saying to put butter on a burn again.
The Uterus Knows All
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Medical Office, USA, Utah | Healthy | January 27, 2021
When I was pregnant with my first child, I 100% knew that it was a girl, and she was, but had no idea with my second baby, who happened to be a boy. When I got pregnant with my third child, I was once again sure that it was a girl. We are living in a different city so this is my first experience with this particular doctor.
We go in to check for the baby’s sex.
Doctor: “Are we hoping for a girl or for a boy?”
Me: “I know this baby is a girl.”
Doctor: “Congratulation s! It’s a boy!”
Me: “Nope.”
Doctor: “Um, what?”
Me: “I know that this is a girl.”
Doctor: “Noooo… it’s a boy. You can see why right here.”
Me: “No. It’s for sure a girl.”
The doctor has clearly never been in this situation before.
Doctor: “Um, well, I guess that could be the umbilical cord but I’m 97% sure that it isn’t.”
Me: “I’m sorry to challenge you, but I seriously know that this baby is a girl.”
Doctor: *Grumbling* “I guess we can wait a few weeks and do another ultrasound. But it will be a waste of time, for you and me.”
Me: “Let’s do that.”
Two weeks later, we went back and did another ultrasound. It was a girl. We didn’t use him for delivery. I couldn’t use a doctor who wouldn’t at least entertain the possibility that I was right.
We Think We May Actually Be Speechless
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Minnesota, Optometrist/Optician, USA | Healthy | January 18, 2021
I’m having my first eye test in a few years and the doctor gives me the colorblind test to flip through. I surprisingly stumble on a few of them, and my wife comments that she’s noticed I tend to confuse certain colors.
Doctor: “You’re not fully colorblind, but you do have something there. Probably a muted form inherited from your father. Does he have trouble with colors?”
Me: “Not that I know of, but he doesn’t really—”
Doctor: *Interrupting me* “Oh, then he’s not your father because you’re definitely a little colorblind. Women have to inherit the gene from both parents. I wonder who your real father is.”
Me: “Did you really just say that to me?”
It turned out that I have tritanomaly, which can come from a blow to the head — and I was bucked off a few horses in my life — OR can be inherited if both your parents at least carry the gene as it’s a mutation. So, it turns out that it IS possible for a non-colorblind man to father a colorblind(ish) daughter!
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