Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance
AUSTRALIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 28, 2018
(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

Mass Decapitations Means It’s Christmas!
BAD BEHAVIOR, OREGON, PHARMACY, PORTLAND, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 27, 2018
(I get a call from a lady who is very upset about some photos she sent to be printed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “You ruined my Christmas! All of the photos I just ordered today have the heads cut off! I can’t use these as Christmas cards! I want a refund or a reprint!”

Me: “No problem. Let me look up your order real quick.” *looks up order* “I’m sorry, miss, but it seems you ordered these through our app or online. Unfortunately, if you want these to be cropped the way you want them, I’m going to need you to come into the store; we would be happy to redo them for free.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I don’t have time for this! I can’t believe you guys can’t do your f****** job!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if that’s not something you would like, I’m sure my manager would be okay with us giving you a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to come back to that store! I can’t believe you won’t remake them! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d be happy to help you remake them or give you a refund. But for either one you have to be at our store.”

(After another five minutes of her screaming at me, I get my manager to talk to her.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

(The lady is screaming through the phone the same things she has told me already.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that this happened. I would be willing to help you remake them or give you a full refund if you come back in.”

(The lady on the phone is now screaming so loud I can hear from next to my manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately, unless you’re present in our store, I can’t give you a refund or remake your photos.”

(This continues for a good ten minutes.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you?”

(The lady is still screaming something about how we can’t do our jobs correctly.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you? I’ve given you your two choices; if you’re not satisfied with that then I can give you our 1-800 number.”

(The lady continues to scream at her for not being helpful.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to continue to scream at me then I’m going to have to hang up. I’ve given you your two choices in what we can do for you. If you’re not satisfied, then you can call our 1-800 number and leave a complaint.”

(The lady continues to scream at her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can do. I’m going to hang up now.”

(The lady continues to scream.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m going to hang up now. We hope to see you in soon. Have a good day.”

(The manager hangs up phone.)

Me: “Wow… she was not happy.”

Manager: “She said she was driving on her way to our store, anyway. Guess it wasn’t too much of an issue for her to come over. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk to her anymore.”

Proving He Is The Biggest P***k
HARASSMENT, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 26, 2018
I am a cashier at a pharmacy chain. A man comes in to the store and immediately asks where to find condoms. It is company policy to walk each customer to the product they are looking for if at all possible. Being a good employee, I walk the man to the “Family Planning” aisle, and show him where to find the condoms.

Rather than leaving our encounter to a minimum, he decides to ask me which condoms I like. Not only am I a woman, but I’m very uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone, especially strangers.

After explaining that I have no preference, and that it’s all up to him, he asks, “Which are the biggest ones? I need the biggest, because I am the biggest.” I am mortified.

I leave him in the aisle by himself, and he chooses a brand for purchase. No more than two minutes after ringing him out, he comes back in to the store, with the package opened, and one condom missing. He slaps the package on the counter and yells, “They’re too tight! I’m returning these, and I need your number… You single?”

I have my manager run the return as I go to the stock room to hide.

Will Never Look Back Again
HEALTH & BODY, MONTANA, PHARMACY, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 20, 2018
(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on.)

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY, VANCOUVER, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere
AT THE CHECKOUT, CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2018
(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past closing.)

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2018
(I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)

Unfiltered Story #124979
PHARMACY, PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND, USA | UNFILTERED | NOVEMBER 11, 2018
(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

Renovate Or Stagnate
JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 10, 2018
(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, HOBART, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 7, 2018
(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, CHILDREN, CONNECTICUT, FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2018
(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons
CONNECTICUT, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 4, 2018
(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1 : “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1 : “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2 : “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TECHNOLOGY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 29, 2018
(I work as a pharmacy technician at one a major pharmacy chains. Recently, store management has been pushing for the pharmacy employees to try and get customers to sign up for text message alerts when their prescription is ready for pick up.)

Me: *having gone through most of the transaction* “Do you get cell phone text alerts when your scripts are ready?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “All right, what cell number should we have in our system for us to text to?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

Me: “Then… you can’t receive text messages.”

(Sadly, this exchange has happened at least five times!)

Is There A Prescription For Stupidity?
CONNECTICUT, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY RIGHT | OCTOBER 29, 2018
(I’m a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I’m working the drive-thru. A truck pulls up blaring loud metal music, and the driver is smoking. He does not turn down the music like most people do when at the window, and I’m having a hard time hearing him.)

Customer: “I’m trying to get one prescription. I need the [Brand Antibiotic], but NOT the–” *indecipherable due to the music*

Me: “I’m sorry, which one do you want?”

Customer: *a little louder* “The [Brand Antibiotic].”

(I take down his information into the computer. I have to re-ask several times because of the music, which he still hasn’t turned down. He’s also still smoking, and flicking ash out of the window, ON MY SIDE.)

Me: “There’s only one prescription here.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *louder* There’s only one prescription.”

Customer: “Is it the [Brand Antibiotic]?”

Me: *still loud* “I will check with the pharmacist.”

(I grab the script, which is NOT an antibiotic. I’ve shut the window to keep the smoke from getting in; the music is loud enough to be heard on the other end of the pharmacy. The pharmacist confirms this is not an antibiotic, but is a specially requested one he’d been calling to transfer over from a different pharmacy.)

Me: “Sir, this is the only one we have.”

(I show him the prescription, so he can see what it is.)

Customer: “Ok, I’ll take it.”

(I finish up the transaction; he pays and drives away. About ten minutes later, he’s back in my lane, blaring the same loud music.)

Customer: “This isn’t the one I requested. I specifically told you NOT to give me this prescription. Where’s the one that the doctor transferred over?”

Me: “This is the only one that was called in.”

Customer: “I’m not taking this prescription anymore. Why was this called in? I want to speak to the manager.”

(The manager is busy. He’s been listening to the customer and is fed up with him. I use this time to double check his profile. There’s still no record of an antibiotic being called in before, during, or after the transaction.)

Me: “Sir, nothing else has been called in.”

Customer: “I don’t want this one. I told you I didn’t want this one.”

(I apologize at least twice, and return his medication, and he drives away, with my ears ringing.)

Manager: “So what happened with [Customer]?”

(I explained the ordeal, and he was obviously annoyed at the customer’s behavior. Less than a half hour later, we received a call from an associate of the customer. The pharmacist, who had had enough of the guy, took the call personally and explained what happened. Still not sure if the guy has gotten the antibiotic yet…)

Coupon Comeback
AT THE CHECKOUT, COUPON, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 24, 2018
(I work at a very well-known pharmacy. It’s a shame how often I have this conversation.)

Me: *while handing them their receipt* “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Oh, I have a coupon. Is it too late to use it?”

Me: “…”

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:
CALL CENTER, FLORIDA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 24, 2018
(I work as a customer service representative. Our company manages prescription plans for a government-run insurance primarily for seniors. We also function as a mail-order pharmacy. This call takes place while I’m still in training during my first week taking calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. My husband needs to start taking [drug]. I want to know if his plan will cover it.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, ma’am. May I have some information?”

(After I verify her husband’s account information, I look up the medication.)

Me: “Okay. Your husband’s insurance will cover that for an approximate cost of [total].”

Customer: “Well, that seems like too much, but he needs it. Can you send it to him, please?”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check, and we do not have a prescription for it, nor has another pharmacy filed a claim.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We will need your husband’s doctor to send us a new prescription before we can fill it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, his doctor won’t write it. You have to stop drinking for six months, and my husband likes to have a beer or two every night, so the doctor won’t write one.”

Me: “I’m sorry. But without a prescription, we cannot send a medication.”

Customer: *getting angry* “But I told you that his doctor won’t write the prescription! Can’t you just send it if we pay full price?”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we must have a prescription before we can send the medication.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just send it?!”

Me: *rubbing my temples at this point* “Ma’am, that would be illegal.”

Impatient Patient, Party Of One
JERK, MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 18, 2018
(I am waiting in line for my prescription to be ready when I see this take place.)

Cashier: “Sir, we are trying to get a hold of the number on your file, but we are unable to reach them at the moment—”

Customer: “I have been waiting, and you’re letting all these other people go. Call the number again!”

Cashier: “Again, sir, I am sorry. We’ll try the number again and let you know.”

(The cashier goes back to the phone while the customer paces and keeps calling someone.)

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, we are still trying to get a hold of someone on that number, but we’re unable to get through.”

Customer: “Well, this is bulls***. I want your name and the manager’s name.”

(The cashier sends him off with the information and he walks away grumbling. The cashier calls me up and informs me that they are bit behind, but it will be filled shortly.)

Me: “That’s no problem; I can wait.”

Cashier: “You have time to wait?”

Me: “Yeah, I understand, and I am not going to be like that guy. He was just plain rude.”

(We laughed and she walked away with a smile.)

Don’t Go (Down) There
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2018
(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask.”

The Pharmacy Version Of “I’m Looking For A Book That’s Red”
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY RIGHT | OCTOBER 10, 2018
Customer: “I need to get a repeat on my medication. I’ve ran out of the script so can you give me an owning? I’ve been here many times.”

Me: “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Can you give me your name and the name of the medication you want owning?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I don’t know what the medication is called.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you know what the medication is for?”

Customer; “No. Just look up the medication I’m on.”

Me: “You’re on a few different medications.”

Customer: “It’s a little white tablet.”

Me: “All but one of the five medications you are on are white. Box or bottle?”

Customer: “No idea. Just give me an owing.”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but without know what the medication is for or what it is called, I cannot give you an owing. But would you know what it is if I showed you the packages it comes in?.”

(I quickly grab a few bottles and boxes of medications that the customer is on, hoping it jogs his memory.)

Customer: “Nope. I don’t know which one it is. Just give me an owing. It’s a little white pill! You’re suppose to know what I want!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, a few of your medications you are on are small white pills., I’m sorry but I want to make sure I am giving you the right medication. Are you sure you don’t know what the medication is called or what it is used for?”

Customer: “You’re no help. You’re suppose to know what I want!” *leaves the store*

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills
AWESOME, CONNECTICUT, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 8, 2018
(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1 : “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1 : “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1 : “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1 : “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1 : “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2 : “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2 : “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)