It’s An Emergency! But It Can Wait. JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

You’ve Got Me In A Box Here…
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 7, 2016
Customer: “Hi. I need some tablets. You know the one I got last time? I didn’t come here but it comes in a box.”

Me: “…”

I Can Hear You Dumb And Clear
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2016
(I have just started working at my local pharmacy. It’s my first time answering the phone and I’m really nervous.)

Me: “Pharmacy, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “HELLO?? HELLLOOOO?”

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: “HELLOOOOOOOOO. ”

Me: “Hello… ma’am?”

Caller: “CAAAAAN YOUUU HEEEAR MEEEE?”

Me: *holding phone away from my ear at this point* “Loud and clear, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I just wanted to make sure my phone was working.” *click*

Me: *stares at phone*

Drive-Thru Is Not Your Calling
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 27, 2016
(At our store we have a voice over that is triggered when someone pulls up to the drive-thru. To stop it from repeating, you have to pick up the phone and press the drive-thru button. This button is next to the regular phone button.)

Me: *after hearing someone pull up at drive-thru* “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help— You know what? Never mind. I’m on my way.”

Didn’t See The Smoke Signals, Part 2
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MARCH 12, 2016
(I work in the front end of a pharmacy retailer that recently stopped selling cigarettes in an effort to promote customer health. It’s been almost two years, but exchanges like this still happen regularly.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a carton of [Brand] cigarettes.”

(I look behind me to where the cigarettes used to be stored, where there is now a large sign with a crossed out cigarette and a slogan that reads: “Quitting starts here.”)

Customer: “…You don’t sell cigarettes, do you?”

Needs Change And A Change Of Cashier
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(My mom has gone to a well-known pharmacy for a prescription. Her co-pay is $74 dollars. She’s given the cashier four twenties.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I need another twenty.”

Mom: “No. I gave enough.”

Cashier: “No, I need another twenty.”

(After minutes of bickering the cashier calls her manager over.)

Cashier: “This woman refuses to pay for her medication.”

Mom: “What? I gave her enough money.”

Cashier: “No, you owe me another twenty!”

(The cashier is flustered by this point and giving my mom an evil look.)

Manager: “Let me count this.”

(He counts the twenties to find that my mom is indeed correct.)

Manager: “Uh, actually this woman needs $6 back.”

(The cashier looks at him and smiles.)

Cashier: “Oh, my math is simply awful.”

(My mom never got an apology.)

Needs Poster-Board To Smash Your Head Through
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(A customer is making a purchase, which has been going normally until the end.)

Me: “All right, that’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “What? That poster-board was supposed to be $4.99.”

(I go with her to check the price marked on the shelf.)

Me: “This is where it was supposed to go; someone put it in the wrong place.”

(I indicate the $8.99 shelf tag; assuming that she wants a $4.99 pack, I grab one and return to the front, to which she does not object. I void out the more expensive pack and ring up the other. After I finish ringing it up…)

Customer: “That’s not the poster-board I want.”

Me: “It’s the pack that’s $4.99.”

Customer: “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it. Just void that and I’ll pick out the poster-board.”

Me: “All right, your other items will be six—”

(I’m cut off by the customer walking away to pick out her poster-board without finishing the sale for her other items, with three customers waiting in line behind her, and no other cashiers on duty. Fortunately, the other register hasn’t been closed out yet, so I can still ring them up somewhere. She finally returns with the poster-board she wants, but I need manager approval because of all the voided items.)

Me: *over the PA, right in front of her* “Manager approval at the front, please.”

Customer: “Why isn’t the sale going through?!”

Me: “I need approval because of all the voids.”

Customer: “You could have said something!”

(Finally, my manager can pass the sale through, with the customer complaining about my service the whole time; my manager promises to have a talk with me over it. Once the store is empty…)

Manager: “So… from how she was acting, I’m guessing she was already in a b***h-fit when she came in?”

Talking Out Of Their Asthma
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 6, 2016
(It is just after daylight savings and the clock in our work room has not been changed yet. My coworker decides to take matters into her own hands and stacks up boxes to be able to reach it. She then makes a face about how dusty it is.)

Coworker: “Oh my! I’m gonna have an asthma attack. I don’t have asthma but I’m gonna catch it from this!”

(This coming from someone who works in a pharmacy and knows how this stuff works!)

Not A Very Product-ive Answer
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 29, 2016
(Our store has recently been purchased by another independent chain and has undergone a massive remodel. All of our stock has been moved to different locations and some things we used to have are not available anymore. As the staff is learning the new layout, we inevitably have this conversation with customers three times a day…)

Customer: “I’m trying to find [Product].”

Staff: “Well if you need any help finding it, let us know and we’ll be just as lost as you are!”

Discharged And Distasteful
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 26, 2016
(I work in the call center of a pharmacy that takes care of long term facilities such as nursing homes. As such, we speak mostly with the nurses taking care of the patients.)

Me: “Hello, I am calling from [Pharmacy] and need to know if a patient was discharged from your facility. We see another patient has been admitted into their room.”

Nurse: “All right, who was the patient?”

Me: “[Name of patient].”

Nurse: “Oh, yes she was discharged to the hospital this morning. She isn’t doing too well.”

Me: *typing her answer without thinking* “Oh, wonderful, thank you so much!”

(The nurse was silent until I said goodbye and I didn’t even think about my response until I had hung up. I promise I am not that cold!)

An Anxiety-Inducing Fact
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 21, 2016
(An extremely rude customer has just left our pharmacy after we refused to fill his prescription. We legally couldn’t fill it without his doctor’s permission because another pharmacy had filled the same medication the day before. The tech who helped him is telling us what happened.)

Tech: “…and so then he said, ‘I make more money in a day than you do in a month!’”

Pharmacist: “Well, what you should have said is, ‘Yeah, but I have ninety Xanax back here and you don’t.’”

No Pain For This Refill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2016
(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

No Pain For This Refill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2016
(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

Sick Of Your Parenting Assumptions
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 4, 2016
(I’m a 23-year-old woman who moved away from home over four years ago. I have no significant other or kids, so I’m only fending for myself. Because I rarely get sick, I have never gotten around to buying a thermometer. Finally I do catch a cold, so I decide to pick one up. I’m not feeling entirely clearheaded because of my cold.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’m looking for a thermometer. Where can I find them?”

Pharmacy Assistant: “They’re here.” *shows me a baby thermometer* “This one is really good if your kids are really young, because it has a soft tip and it gives results fast.” *shows me two more baby thermometers* “These are also good for kids.”

(A long silence follows, as I try to figure out in my woozy head why I should be using it on kids, not myself.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Oh, and here’s our basic model. But those are all really good for kids!” *looks at me expectantly*

(Feeling like a bad mother to my non-existent children, I picked up the basic model and thanked her. Don’t adults take their own temperature any more?

Not Thinking Inside The Box
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 26, 2015
(My wife has a bad eye infection and after a trip to the doctor, we take her prescription for antibiotic eye-drops to a pharmacy to be filled. They tell us we can pick it up in an hour. A little more than an hour later I go back to pick it up.)

Me: “Hi, I’m picking up a prescription for [Wife].”

Pharmacist: “We don’t seem to have that here. When did you drop it off?”

Me: “About an hour ago.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, here’s the record… This won’t be ready for three days. We don’t have it here.”

Me: “What? She has an infection and needs her medicine now, not three days from now. Why didn’t you tell us it would take so long when we dropped it off so we could go to another pharmacy?”

Pharmacist: “Well, we just got the shipment in today, but we haven’t opened the boxes yet to take out the medicine.”

Me: “It takes three days to open a box?”

Pharmacist: “Well, I guess if you want to wait 10 or 15 minutes, I can get it for you.”

Me: “…Yes. Do that, please.”

Pharmacist: *sighing* “Fine, I’ll go get it. I hate having to open the boxes.”

Weeding Out The Irresponsible Users
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2015
(I am working the closing shift one evening, with my only other company being my boss, the head pharmacist. A man comes in to pick up a fairly mundane prescription.)

Me: “Before I ring this up, do you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

Customer: “Yeah, will this have any interactions with marijuana?”

Me: *looking to the pharmacist* “Um…”

(My boss comes over to the registers and makes a show of looking through the printed information pamphlet that comes with every prescription.)

Pharmacist: “I don’t believe so…”

Customer: *picking up on our unease* “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t go out on the road or anything when I get high. I just stay home until my trip ends.”

(He then paid his bill and left.)

Me: *to pharmacist* “…Well, at least he’s being responsible about it.”

Cutting Straight To The Point
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 3, 2015
(I have been waiting on line for a long time, but am finally next. Just as the person in front is finishing up their transaction, a woman cuts right in front of me.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

Woman: “Are you next?”

Me: *in an annoyed tone* “Yes.”

Woman: “And are you a total b****?”

Me: “…Also yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with it.”

Unsanitary Behavior
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 27, 2015
(I am checking out a woman’s prescriptions. She had just finished paying and signing for them when this happens.)

Customer: “Hey there is a big spot of something here on the counter.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, so there is. It’s probably someone who dripped some of the hand sanitizer from the bottle over there on the counter. But to be on the safe side I have some alcohol in a spray bottle and I will clean that right up.”

(I walk over to the other side of the counter grab the bottle and some paper towels to clean it up. When I get over there she had taken the pump out of the bottle of sanitizer and dumped almost the entire bottle on the counter and spread it over almost 2/3 of the counter. See looks at me all smiles.)

Customer: “There, all better. Nice and clean for you!”

(She then just walked away leaving me to have to clean up the GIANT puddle of goop off the counter.)

This Is Not The Android You Are Looking For
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 2, 2015
(I’m working the register when I overhear this interaction between a customer and my coworker.)

Customer: “Can I get a cord to connect my iPhone to your photo kiosk?”

Coworker: “Sure! What kind of iPhone is it?”

Customer: “Samsung.”

Burning Your Bridges With Midnight Oil
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 28, 2015
(When I was hired at this store, it was under the condition that I will not have to work midnight shifts because the last bus I can take home leaves at nine. I am not the only special case when it comes to scheduling, but I am the only one in the store who takes the bus. About six months later, the store goes through a change in management. Throughout the change and the holiday season that year, the majority of the store employees realize the new manager is not so great and is firing people for arbitrary and possibly illegal reasons. After the holiday season he stops scheduling me entirely unless it is to cover sick call outs. Then I get this phone call.)

Manager: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Manager]. I’m calling because you never filled out this paperwork.”

Me: “I didn’t know I had any paperwork to fill out. I’m sorry.”

Manager: “Well, you have to do it on the store computer and it was due three weeks ago. Everyone had to do it, but you didn’t.”

Me: “So, you do know you haven’t scheduled me in the last two months, right? I call every week.”

Manager: “Right, but this was due three weeks ago.”

Me: “How was I supposed to do it on the store computer if you never have me in the store? Why didn’t anyone tell me about it when I called to see if I was on the schedule?”

Manager: “Yeah, it was due three weeks ago.”

Me: “I didn’t know about it and you haven’t scheduled me in months. Why are you calling me now if it was due three weeks ago?”

Manager: “Well, you should just come in sometime and we’ll talk in person.”

(A couple days later, I go in to talk to him. After repeating that I should have known about something I had no way of knowing, I ask why I haven’t been scheduled.)

Manager: “Well, can you work midnight shifts?”

Me: “No. I take the bus and the last bus home for me leaves at nine.”

Manager: “Everyone has to work at least one midnight shift a week. You can get someone to give you a ride home.”

Me: “I’m not really comfortable with that. I don’t want to have to ask a different person for a ride home every night and have the entire store know where I live. I take the bus. When I was hired, I was told I did not have to work until midnight because of the bus schedule.”

Manager: “Everyone has to do it.”

(At this point I ask if several employees who have only ever worked one specific shift in the ten-plus years they had been there were now working midnights. He says no to each one.)

Manager: “Everyone has to work until midnight at least once a week, so you’ll just have to get a ride home or get a car.”

Me: “I would love to get a car, but I don’t have enough money for one. It’s hard to make money when you’re not on the schedule.”

Manager: “What about the people you live with?”

Me: “They have a newborn and jobs they wake up early for. I can’t ask them to pick me up. As for the people here, I am not comfortable asking perpetual strangers to take me home. When I was hired [Old Manager] promised I would not be forced to work beyond the bus schedule.”

Manager: “Well, if you won’t work midnights, I’ll have to fire you.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You’re firing me for not having a car?”

Manager: “For refusing to work.”

Me: “I can’t work midnights. I was hired on the condition I would never have to work midnights. There are no buses past nine. I can work any other shift up to 8:50 pm. I want to work. I need a paycheck.”

Manager: “Okay, well, I’m just going to have to let you go. If you want, I can put a note in your file that this was a mutual decision so you can work for the company again in the future.”

Me: “Absolutely not. This is NOT a mutual agreement. You are FIRING me. And don’t worry. After my experience in the last year with you, I would never try to work for the company again. They clearly do not care about their employees!”

(I was friends with several of the shift managers and heard that over the next year, more than half the store had either quit because of his policies or had been fired for similarly flimsy reasons.)

When The Register Is Frozen, Let It Go
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 24, 2015
(This happens on my second trip to the pharmacy in the same day. Note, I have plenty of experience as a cashier and actually own a small shop, but I generally pretend to be ignorant as a customer so as not to offend cashiers who do not know what they are doing.)

Pharmacy Tech: *referring to the Point of Sale machine* “It’s going to tell you to sign before you swipe your card.”

Machine: *displays words* “Please swipe card.”

Me: *swipes card without waiting for the screen I am supposed to sign*

Machine: *flashes rapidly between the screen I was supposed to sign and the total, then says* “Processing, please wait.”

Me: “Oops! I was supposed to sign first.”

Pharmacy Tech: “On my end, it says it is waiting for you.”

Me: *turning POS around so he can read it* “On my end, it says, “Processing, please wait.””

Pharmacy Tech: “Well, these are new. I have no idea what to do about that! Try hitting cancel.”

Me: *hits cancel*

(The pharmacy tech hits cancel about twenty times, which any cashier who has used a POS before should know causes the system to freeze. He calls to another employee behind him.)

Pharmacy Tech: “She swiped her card before signing. It’s frozen. What am I supposed to do now?”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “I don’t know. Just shut it down and move to another register.”

(I left wondering how long it would take before they froze all three of their registers.)